FRIENDSTER BLOG (5)

i want to get back my SMILE

(Aug. 12, 2009)

okeii. another post. uhm. ive been into blog posting lately. it seems that i post more these days than before. oh well. just got so many thoughts in my mind. they are exploding. hahaha.

.how do i start.!? i dont know exactly. its still the same. the thoughts of being scared. scared of the future.! hahaha. thats how pathetic i am right now. stupidity.!? oh call it whatever you want. i think its really that. hahaha.

.okeii. here’s the thing. woah. college just seems to not love me. huhuhu. does IT hate me.!? hahaha. i dont know. i want to love college. im working hard to do all my responsibilities. but still. i feel there’s lacking. im very EMPTY. i need to be FULL. but i dont know what or who could fill up the emptiness.

.i want to get back my SMILE.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the longest time. i havent “smiled” my super duper happiest smile. i think the last time i smiled happily was.. was.. uhm.. march 14 2008.!? hahaha. you know. that “smile” where there are no worries at the backest part of your mind and you just feel that you have all the time in the world. oh yeah. i really think so. almost 18 months ago. woah. hahaha. [and if you're wondering what happened there. ask me. i'll answer you. :))]

.see. can you imagine it.!? for more than a year or less. im just. just. just so inconsistent. i laugh. i smile. but i cant really say im happy. after the laughter. after the smiles. im back again to my stupidity. being a JERK. hahaha.

.i know you are also confused with the things i wrote here. yeah. its very complicated. and i want to know the solution very soon. so that i can have that march 14 2008 smile again.

.i hope soooooooo. i want to be HAPPY again. :))

in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story

its a wonder love can make the world go round

but dont let it bring you down and turn your face into a frown

you’ll get along with a little prayer and a song :))