THE KID WHO BROUGHT ME A THOUSAND PIECES OF EAR TO EAR SMILE

The title seems odd right? Awkward? Like it doesn't have coherence? Haha! Well just leave it like that. I did it on purpose anyway. It's still understandable though. :)

After more than 5 months of no buzz here, it's just so timely that I make this post. This is for the kid who brought me a thousand pieces of ear to ear smile. :)

All my college life, I am like the vampire Elena Gilbert when Jeremy died (The Vampire Diaries) --- I turned off my humanity. Uhm no, not really. But yeah, sort of like that. College has CHANGED me so big that I set aside my old self and created a new one. I am still me less sentimental, sweet, thoughtful, and stuff.

To the defense of the old me, the "old me" is still alive BUT to just some chosen people. Mostly, my high school friends because they know me as the "old me". There are some arki and ECE friends who I treat with the "old me" but I can just count them with my 10 fingers and 10 toe fingers. So yeah, generally, the "new me" is what they (the people I met after graduating high school) know about me.

I lived my college life as it is, very fast pace. That teacher from the movie Three Idiots was right somehow when he said that life is a race. I lived my college life like that. I didn't have time to be celebrate happiness whenever I feel so much happy or mourn over things which I failed. It was always MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY because if you won't, you'll get left behind on the so called college race.

I have lived with this principle for 5 years and a half. And I was planning to just live with it, live by it until I finished college or up to even I go to work. Not until somebody SHAKED my plans.

The kid. I call her Niknik. She's a total stranger to me. I don't know her. She doesn't know me. Really, we are total strangers. I only knew her because of basketball. But that's just it. I don't even have any care at her at first. Well she's good at playing basketball. In fact superb, excellent. But that's it. It's like my relationship to her was just purely basketball. No more, no less.

Until one day, Nads, my ECE classmate slash basketball teammate told me that Niknik needs our help and wants to have a tutor session. I don't know what's with the word tutor that I always say yes to the call. Maybe because of my promise to myself that I will help anyone with regards to studies as much as I can. Uhm, a teacher in the making I can say.

So I did. But up to the very last minute, I don't even have her number. It was just Nads who serves as our messenger. See? I don't care. In Filipino, wala talaga akong pake-alam. It was Niknik who even contacted me first because really, I was late that time. Haha. I even let her wait for a couple of minutes because I was rushing stuffs for our thesis with Meg, my thesis partner. Good thing she was patient enough to wait for me. Haha. Sorry Niknik. :)

We had the tutor session. Algebra and Trigonometry. Nads class was cancelled that afternoon so she joined us. Niknik had two instant teachers. So yeah. Then I mentioned to Nads, to them maybe, that my right knee hurts because of that last basketball practice. Niknik told me that I just have to ice it and stuff. Since I really don't have any idea what to do with injuries, and since she's a pro basketball player I can say, I followed her. Niknik had to leave early that time because her mother told her so. I went to church. Just a normal Saturday. Then I texted Niknik again that night just to ask about what to do with my knee. Then I think that was the start of everything. If our story would be featured in MMK, the title would be TUHOD. Or TUTOR would be a candidate too.

So what about Niknik? Why such a fuzz about her? Hmm. Let's just say, SHE CHANGED ME. Why? How?

• She is cuteness overload. Just one look at her and your heart will melt. It's like you will have no reason ever to get mad at her. No wonder she has many friends and lovers. Haha.
• Speaking of friends, YES SHE HAS MANY! Anywhere we go! She knows someone! I am not like that! I mean, I have friends, but I am not as friendly as her. I am really amazed by her congeniality.
• She is a very loving daughter. She is an ulirang anak. SHE WAKES UP AT 4AM EVERYDAY TO CLEAN THEIR HOUSE OR WASH CLOTHES AND COOK BREAKFAST FOR HER MOM! LIKE WHUUUUT! I don't do that! It's the other way around in my world. My mom does everything. But Niknik, aaaaahhhhhh!!! She really is abnormal. :)
• She is also a loving granddaughter. She takes care of her grandmother. And me? Oh don't ask anymore.
• She is sweet. She is thoughtful. She reminds me of the "old me", willing to do everything just to make her friends happy.
• She is lambing. She is makulit. She is a very bright light in a very dark vacuum space.

At pwede na ba akong mag tagalog simula rito? Naubos na Ingles ko eh. Haha! No. I'll just make this TagLish instead.

Wala lang. Iba lang talaga si Niknik. Hindi naman kami close noon pero anong ginawa niya sa akin? Kinatok niya ang buhay ko. Inalog niya ang mundo ko. Ginising niya ako mula sa bangungot na nakasanayan ko ng pamuhayan.

Marami siyang ginawa. Marami siyang ginagawa.

• Kinamusta niya tuhod ko kahit DI NAMAN KAMI CLOSE (noon). Nasa isip ko pa noon, ano ba itong batang ito. Bored ba siya sa buhay niya? Haha.
• Dinalhan niya akong ng something foam thingy para di sumakit tuhod ko nung naglaro kami nung EA sportsfest. Siya pa talaga ang naglagay.
• AAAAHHHHH!!! ANG VIVA MINERAL WATER! KAINIS! Binigyan niya ako ng viva mineral water out of nowhere! Surprise kung surprise! Ayaw na ayaw kong tanggapin pero napakatigas din ng ulo ng bata. Ayun. Talo ako. Tinanggap ko na lang.
• Nilibre din niya ako 5 pesos! Kainis again!
• Nilibre din niya ako pamasahe sa jeep! Kainis again and again!
• Napaka kulit. Palaging nagtetext kung nasaan ako. Ganun ba niya ako ka miss? Haha!
• Kinikidnap ako ng batang ito. Kahit saan ako dinadala. Ako naman, nagpapadala rin. Haaaay bata. Ewan ko ba bakit malambot puso ko sa iyo.
• Binigyan niya ako ng happy pills. Napakaraming happy pills with matching letters inside. Yung iba nakakatawa. Yung iba nakaka iyak. :)
• May dark chocolate din pala siyang binigay sa akin. Hersheys. At curly tops. Ano sunod bata? Snickers? Kitkat? Haha!
• At ngayon bago lang! She is learning piano so that she can dedicate and play songs for me! Like what the bata! Are you sure?! Haha!
• She always hugs me! Everytime we meet! Walang palya! Like wow. And it's always she caughts me off guard. Minsan di na lang ako maka hug back kasi di ko alam ano gawin ko. Haha.
• Kung may nakalimutan man ako, pasensya na at alalahanin ko muna. Haha.

Pero ang pinakanatamaan talaga ako sa lahat ng ginawa niya ay yung nag dropbox siya sa akin ng isang notepad letter thing at isang kanta.

Eto yung letter.

HAYYS atee nag duha2 ko about this song funny corny and watsoever proo i'll tell youu bata pko ani gnahan jd ko .. 

so expected pang bata jd kaau .. hahaha ! proo bata pko naga isip pd ko na naa koi sister .. pro krn pa ko nagka sister na 

mkaingon jud ko na ma feel nko ang pagka SISTER .. haha ! dghan gd dha ba kai daghan ko ate.2 proo SAIMO NKO NA FEEL ANG LOVE SA

ISA KA ATE NA AQNG GNA PANGITA .. KYA THANK YOU KAAAAAYOO ATEEE FORR BEIING MY SISSTERRRR .. THOUGH NOT BY BLOOD BUT BY LOVEE :D HAHAHAHA !

HMM .. sa song na ni pd kaaii a part of my fav. character hahaha ! lol . basta funny kaaau :D proo pag mag tan.aw jd ko sa 

t.v ani kaii chuuy ! haha ! taz kantahon daun ni na song .. mka ingon gd ko na nta naa koi sister .. hahaha ! but den nag 

promise ko skng self na ipadunggog jd nkoo ni sa taong mka feel ko na SISTER jd nkooo ( DLE NI JOKE OR JAMMING ND MAKING A STORY ) .. though pang bata mn gd kaau ba .. maoo ng 

gna ingnan tka na pass sa ko pag about sa song kaii dli ni well known na song kaii pang bataaaaaa jd kaaau .. hahahaha ! 

BUUT IM HOPPING NA DI KA MALAIN ANII NA SONG HAHAHA ! LOOL . JUD KAAAAYO KO OOOYYY ! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH ! 

ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :p AHAHHAHAHAHAH ! 

-----------> KULLLLLLIITTT :p

Eto naman yung kanta.

Nung pagbasa ko ng letter, pinipigilan ko na lang talaga yung luha ko. Ayoko umiyak eh. Pero nung sinimulan ko ng patugtugin yung kanta, ewan ko ba, intro pa lang ng kanta, BUMUHOS NA ANG LUHA KO NA PARANG BAGYO. Ewan ko. I immediately lay down on the sofa, curled up body like a baby and CRIED MY HEART OUT. I don't know. Hindi ko alam bakit ako umiyak nung gabing iyon pero isa lang ang sigurado ako, TOTOO ang iyak na yun. Totoong naiiyak ako dahil, because I am so touched with what she did. Natamaan ako. Sobra. Repeat playlist pa talaga ang media player ko at nag iisang kanta lang yun kaya ayun, balik balik ang kanta. Palakas ng palakas din ang iyak ko. Ewan ko ba. Para akong batang inagawan ng lollipop nung gabing yun. Tulo na sipon ko. Plus luha ko. Basa na masyado tshirt ko. Wala pa rin. I stayed up curling my body and crying like a baby. I felt so helpless and vulnerable. Parang feeling ko ang damaged ko pala talaga na tao noh? Tapos sa isang bata ko makikita, mahahanap ang solitude. Ayun. Iyak. I was crying like that for about 10? 15? 20mins? Di ako kumibo. Di ako gumalaw. Napatunganga ako sa pangyayaring iyon. In short, I was moved. I was touched. Natamaan ako. Di ako makapaniwalang may gagawa pa pala niyan sa akin or uso pa pala yan ngayon or ewan ko, lumambot talaga ang puso ko nung narinig ko ang The Sister Song.

Alam ko humiling ako sa Diyos noon na sana magkaroon ako ng kapatid na babae. Pero lalake ang binigay sa akin ni Lord, okay lang. Tanggap pa rin. Pero nung dumating si Niknik, nung nakilala ko na siya, nasabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na OH LORD THANK YOU. Parang siya na talaga ang sagot mo sa panalangin kong magkaroon ng younger sister. Nese kenye ne eng lehet eh. Halos pareho kami lahat ng gusto! Para ngang anak ako sa labas ng papa niya o anak siya sa labas ng papa ko. Haha. Basta. Long lost younger sister indeed.

Grabeng happiness ang dala niya sa buhay ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag. At ang happiness na binibigay niya sa aking ay na spread na rin sa ibang tao. Like for example, nagsisimula na ulit akong gumawa ng little notes/letters. Nabigyan ko na sila Nads and Meg, classmates ko, at si Faith, isang kasama pa namin sa basketball. Tapos loving na rin ako sa mga ECE classmates ko ngayon. Mas loving pala. Haha. Tapos sa kapatid ko, sa totoo kong kapatid, wow lang. Tinuturuan ko na siya kahit pagod ako or what at mataas na pasensiya ko sa kanya. Tapos loving na rin ako sa mama at papa ko ngayon. I mean more loving and lambing. See the change she has brought me? Yun sinasabi ng mga tao na iba raw ang smile ko sa mga pictures ko lately especially sa instagram, hindi yun dahil sa kung anong something. Dahil yun lahat kay Niknik. Ear to ear smile nga ang hatid niya sa akin.

The most important change she has done to me is, she has destroyed my effin tall and strong walls. The walls I built because of too much pain and sadness I felt from the past. The walls I built to protect myself from being hurt again. She let me realize that those walls are no good. That they will just continue to isolate me from the wonders of the world. She let me realize that okay lang masaktan. Parte yan ng buhay. Ang importante is maging masaya ka. Yung tipong genuine happiness talaga at ikalat mo ang genuine happiness na yan sa mga taong nakapaligid sa iyo.

Indeed, she is God's instrument to fix my ever damaged and broken personality. Inuntog talaga ako ni God sa pamamagitan ni Niknik at sinabing, "Hoy Dinelle! Tama na yang walls walls mo. Giba-in mo na yan at magsimula ka muli!" Siguro nga, sinadya ni Lord na sabay kaming dumating sa Garden Oases nung first practice namin sa basketball. Na kahit late na ako/kami, hinintay ko pa rin siya at di ako tumakbo. Siguro yun na yung simula. Doon pa lang, concern na pala ako sa kanya. Di ko lang alam. Unconscious lang.

Sa ngayon, di ko alam kung anong mga susunod na mangyayari. Bahala na? Haha. I mean, whatever happens, happens. All I know is that, I am happy that Niknik is in my life and I don't have any plans whatsoever of letting her go or something like that. I'll take care of her and I will cherish her presence forever. Yes. Forever. With her I believe that there is forever. Kahit na umabot ang araw na kelangan naming mag separate ways, forever pa rin. In our hearts and in our minds. True sisters/friends don't work outside. They work inside, in the heart and in the mind. Sorry sa english. Sleepy na ako. Haha. Basta ang thought is that the physical aspect lang yung malayo, pero ang pagmamahal namin sa isa't isa ay hinding hindi mawawala. Char lalim. Haha! And yeah, pag dumating man ang araw na yun, may technology naman to communicate. So worry not. And I know that even though we will be miles apart, Niknik and Ate will stay as Niknik and Ate. Always and forever. :)

Niknik

Thank you!

Maybe not now.

Maybe not immediately.

But I am starting to put down my walls and slowly going back to the "old me".

Uhm, maybe not all the "old me".

Just the good features of the "old me".

And I'll combine them with the good features of the "new me" too.

Scrap the bad features of the "new me".

Little by little.

Slowly.

I will be a better person.

I will be happier.

I will share more happiness to the people around.

Thanks to you Niknik.

Thank you so much. 

I owe you the change (for the better) I am experiencing right now.

Definitely, a kairos moment

:)

Alexandra Nicole Salcedo Navidad

The Kid Who Brought Me a Thousand Pieces of Ear to Ear Smile
^___________________________________________________^

Finished

Aug. 25, 2013

2:52 am

Now off to sleep. :)