MY 2010 SPEECH

"Even if we still want to stay, we have to go forward, let go, and move on. The clock will continue to tick even if we stop working."

I know this line sounds familiar to some of you. I uttered these words during our high school graduation. It may sound so cliche now, but really, I just grasped its fruitful meaning the day I stepped into college. 

You may wonder why. Yeah. WHY? I was the one who made that speech, so why put words if I don’t know the meaning? I also asked myself that question. Then I found out the answer to my question. I usually take for granted word meanings before. But now I know that every word, every single word we say or speak everyday, has its own deep meaning that can affect our lives forever.

That quote above is the philosophy I always bring wherever I go lately. It is the perfect explanation of our college life. It’s so fast! I sometimes can’t even race with its pace. We fail on a certain exam today; we start to study for a new topic tomorrow. I sometimes can’t even get it. We don’t even have the time anymore to grieve for a 57 percent exam. Haha! I know. We seldom see great friends now. Even our own classmates, we don’t get that much bonding time because of conflict of schedules. Well, that’s college. It’s fast. We have to race with its pace. We have to learn how to accept things immediately. And whatever happens, LIFE GOES ON.

Days from now, it will be another year --- a start of a new decade. So before the early 21^st century ends, let me thank the people whom have touched my life and gave me oh so much inspiration. Whether you like it or not, you will be all connected to me now, forever. >:)

TO ALL MY HIGH SCHOOL CHUMS --- MarJiDiChel, joinerz 04 and 07, T.R.I.P.O.D, LDR 789, the CONOANZ, CLiMsterz, gorettianz, OLPHianz, PEDROSITOHZ, MARKerz, --- name it all!!! Hahaha! Did I forget something? I hope I did not. But if I did, please accept my apologies. Well anyway, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! I just can’t help it but laugh at myself because next next year, 2011, you will all graduate already. And me?! A big hahaha! I will still be in school then finishing my third year in ECE and will still be eating numbers. I know we all want to have a mega reunion. But I hope you can wait for me. Let me graduate first, please? Haha. Then we will definitely have that major Marco Polo conference room reunion or that Asian cruise trip as what Aya said. Hahaha! Thank you for always supporting me even though we are all miles away from each other due to our own responsibilities and priorities. Don’t worry. We’re gonna bond absolutely some time soon. (kinsa sunod mag birthday?! hahaha!) And oh, thanks to Shishi for helping me out in my Integral Calculus. I’m progressing na shi. Hihi. I hope I will finally find my range na jud.

TO MY ARKI PEEPS, I miss drawing. *sad* hahaha! Yeah really. I don’t know why but my hand is craving for B pencils and sketchpad lately. I was planning to sketch this Christmas break, but then I got too lazy so I think, next time, maybe this summer. I got my subject already so yeah, next time. I just hope I still know those techniques we learned in visual tech. hahaha! Thanks for always being there, never forgetting me even though I shifted and transferred already. (i know im being drama now. haha.) Thanks for the one of a kind friendship na kahit sa text, fb, ym, skype lang tayo minsan nag cocommunicate. Good luck in all your plates. Graduate na ako diyan. Haha! And when you graduate, imma let you design my house. Actually, I have my plans na. I’ll just let you improve it. I hope the service is for free. Hahaha!

TO MY ECE FRIENDS, thank you. *big grin* I prayed to God that He will give me the family that I will need in order to survive the remaining years in engineering. But instead, He gave me a FAMILY TREE that I never expected. From ECE 2 to ECE 3, 4, 5 as well as ECE 1!!! This year was a blast! Thank you for welcoming me into your family --- for accepting a new kulit member. Even though I’m new, you did not let me feel that I’m “others” and that I don’t have a space in your family circle. To our ate’s and kuya’s, thank you for taking care of us, your little siblings. I’m really looking forward for our next acquaintance party. I just hope we will not have any projects slash exam when that happens. Haha! Yeah! YOU SAY FAMILY? I SAY ECE! (plano ko ni sa tshrt nxtyr. hahaha) And to my fellow Integral Calculus takers, lezz take away all our worries and doubts. We still have midterm and prefi. WE CAN STILL MAKE MAJOR BAWI. We just have to work harder and believe WE CAN. Just have this as your mindset. If we pass this subject handled by Ma’am Ferraren, then it’s like winning the 700 million jackpot in lotto. :)))))))

TO RALPH, oh, I have the courage now to mention your name. Haha! Well I know you will not read this. I just want you to know that I am still your friend and I do consider you my friend too and I really want us to become friends and that I want to spend time with you again someday --- laugh until our lungs get out just like what usual friends do. Thanks Ralph. You know what that is for. :)))))))))))

TO JAKE, KEVIN JAKE, well what can I say? Uhm welcome to my speech thingy. Haha! I know this is weird but please just bear with it. Thank you for wormy-birdy and aubrey-jakey. Thank you for the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds that you spent with me. Thank you for texting me last june 19, 2010. Thank you for treating me to eclipse. Thank you for July 18, 19, 24, Aug 8, 13, 14, 19, 24, 27, Sept 5, 11, 13, 17, 25, 26, 27, and Oct 13 and 21. Though Dec 23 was not a so good day, I still believe in the power of friendship. (andito na naman si friendship. pabida lagi na siya? haha) Yeah. No joke. I will always be your aubrey and you will always be my jake. (bahala na kung naay mupalag. haha) What we had? No one and nothing can take it anymore. It’s like a data stored already in the memory card, a memory stored in our brains, an EVENT stored in our HISTORY. Thanks jake! I hope too we can spend some time again soon. I miss punching you and your gaya-gaya acts. Haha! Do you know how to read french? :))))))))))

TO MY FAMILY --- mommy, papa, arvin. *cries* Sorry if sometimes I can’t live up to your expectations. Sorry, sometimes I’m bad. Sorry, I should be in third year now. Sorry if I am currently struggling to pass my subjects. Haha. Yeah I know. You told me I can do this and this is engineering life and IF ever, IF, I fail, there is still summer for me to take it up again. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to disappoint you. I am really working hard to pass so that I could see all your happy faces again this March. Yeah! I will this. I will! I can! Thanks for your unending support and love and care and for just being there always. Don’t worry. Someday, you will be proud of me. One day, I will be, ENGR. AMPER. :)))))))))

TO GOD, THANK YOU OH SO MUCH!!! MY LIFE IS DEFINITELY THE BEST GIFT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME! EVER! I cannot imagine what it would be if I did not live in this world. Thank you very much! Memories. Experiences. Lessons. Belongingness. Relationships. These are just some life’s gifts to me. I would not have it if You, Yourself, did not give it to me. Thank you for always making a new bright day everyday for me (us). It just emphasizes more that everyday is really a new day. If I fail today, I can always have tomorrow to learn from my mistakes and make them all right. Thank You also for letting me meet such wonderful people this year. I hope next year would be fantastic too, an amazing start for the next decade. I know there will still be humps ahead, but as I always say, please, dahan-dahan lang po. :))))))))))))

Ay! Wait wait wait! TO TRIPOD! Hahahaha! I have observed that in 2010, we only had TWO bondings that we were complete --- my 18th birthday and dash's 18th birthday. Other than that, it was a jerk-dash bonding or a yabee-yabee bonding. It may sound so sad, but I understand. I know you both understand too. We are all now busy doing each our stuffs. So itchuki. As long as we know we love each other and we're here to support each other. Let us worry not. There are still 365 days coming ahead. I'm sure we can have at least 3 days to bond and beat our 2010 record. Hahahaha! I LOVE YOU DASH AND YABEE! THANK YOU AS ALWAYS! And oh yabee! Don’t think anymore that dash is mad at you or what. She’s not. WE ARE NOT. We love you and we understand. In fact we are already waiting for your graduation day, because REALLY, you will be the FIRST one to graduate among us three. (then sunod si dash at, oh na oh na, ako last. haha) :))))))))

So that’s it people. My annual speech ends here. Thank you for sticking up with me through the years and for the next years to come. Until the 2011 speech! Lezz make more and more and more memories together! YEAH! Spread the LOVE people! Everybody needs it everyday. :)))))))))

NO REGRETS.

JUST LESSONS LEARNED.

*smile*

A MILLIONAIRE'S FIRST LOVE

lately, i have been watching korean drama movies. this is my way of getting out the boredom of my christmas vacation. it's just 14 days. so i have to make the most out of it.

i had many things planned for this break. write, draw, watch movie, guitar, blog, etc. there's only one thing i haven't done yet. and it's drawing. i was planning to go back to sketching and draw a portrait of someone i think i owe something. but too bad, i got lazy again getting my pencils and sketchpad. so i just dropped that idea and concentrate more on writing and watching movies.

i have already watched a couple of korean movies for the past days and one thai movie also. and i do admit, i cried in all those films. until today, i watched this film entitled "a millionaire's first love", this movie made me cry the most among all the films i watched this break.

cry? what's with cry? i know it's just normal to cry when watching melodramatic movies. but today's cry was really to the boiling point. it's SOBBING. my tears were really continuously flowing from time to time --- that even though i wanted to stop it, i FORCED to stop it, it just flowed and flowed, rolled down my cheeks. i can't even breathe because the mucus are sticking inside my nose. hahahaha. :))))))))

but what made me really wonder is that, why did i cry so hard for a movie? i am not like this before. oh yeah i cry but just two or three tears. not like now, i cried two or three liters of tears. hahaha. then i realized, it's not the movie i was crying for. it's what had happened before.

okay. last dec. 23, jake (kevin) and i called it "quits". i texted him the day before and after 21 hours, he replied. he replied to me with a message stating that he's ending our "relationship" and that he's sorry and said goodbye. and as for me, i think i have expected it already, so i just agreed to what he said. yeah i think it's better for us to be not romantically linked anymore. i think, like what he said, yeah, we're better off friends. i didn't ask anymore why he had came up with a decision like that, what's the reason behind all the cold things and what was really his FEELINGS during our cold stage. okay call me a jerk. you can slap me on the face, but my being understanding ignited again. maybe because i expected already the outcome, maybe because i knew already what would happen, that's why i didn't ask anymore for any explanations. we were even exchanging jokes and laughing on that text session we had. i just don't know if he was REALLY happy slash laughing at that moment. i just don't know if I was REALLY happy slash laughing at that moment.

i think the movie "a millionaire's first love" was just my excuse to cry. it was just my excuse to sob for something i don't want to grieve for anymore. it was my excuse to go back to that day i want to forget. it was my excuse to say goodbye to all the things i had with jake. it was my excuse to instill in my mind that i will undergo another move on surgery in my life. it was a very good excuse. and i thank God for that excuse.

"THE HARDEST PART OF ENDING IS STARTING AGAIN."

-Linkin Park

LATE

i know it's late but as the saying goes, better late than never.

HAPPY CANDLE CAKES DAY JESUS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

SENTI SANDALI

just watched vampire diaries episode 11 this afternoon. then heard the song longest night by howie day. really good song. and it led me to where i am now --- writing this post about a certain person named kevin jake.

i told myself that i will talk to him when christmas break comes. but i changed my mind. why? i don't know where to start --- HOW to start. besides, i think he's not in the city. i remember he told me he was going to be out of town for the holidays. so no signal. i guess that's the sign. we are not meant to be. so no talk will happen this christmas break. that's what i think.

i just want to talk to him and settle things out. you know what i mean. he knows what i mean. i don't want this o not have a proper closure or whatever you call it. i don't want this to have a hanging ending like what most books and movies have.

IF IT'S A YES THEN LET'S GIVE IT ONE MORE SHOT.

IF IT'S A NO THEN SO BE IT.

life's like that. people come. people go.

DREAM

just this afternoon, i slept and had a dream that i got all failing marks in my integral calculus exams. for a little while, a very little while, just a short snap of a second, i felt happy because it was just a dream. then i realized, it was not a dream at all. i woke up seeing my test papers all blooded with a very low score. after that, i do not know what to do anymore.

i just want to cry but i won't anymore. i don't want to worsen my already worse colds.

i want to make bawi. i will make bawi. please no more hindrances.

*sad face*