MY 2009 SPITS

“The only freshest things in your mind are those that happened a year ago; otherwise they are memories which you never want to forget.”

.time really flies so fast nowadays. another year will finally bid its final farewell a few hours away from now. can’t imagine. it was just like yesterday i was still an architect. but now im already an engineer. hahaha. well that's what we call LIFE where the only constant thing is change. but these changes are made for you to learn, for me to learn, for us all to learn. many changes probably happened this year but rest assured that i used all those "changes" to make me a better person. and i want to THANK all the people who guided me through this metamorphosis in my life. YOU understood. YOU never gave me up. YOU supported me. even until now. :D

.jenkilots. marj. shishi. yang. emuii. iprel. debi. and to all those who texted ym fs fb me when they got the shifty thingy news. THANK YOU for the support and the "okei lng yan dinz. naa lng mi dri". if u only know how much those words helped me ease the pain and confusion i felt that time. thank you for the assistance  you all offered. and thank you most for being with me in my journey until now. di jd to nko malimtan ang mga hilak2 moments nko to some of you. hahaha. atin2 nlng un ah. ayaw na saba. :D

.sa mga kuto sa aking ulo. hahaha. CO2. carbon dioxide. salamat. alam ko sankatutak na sama ng loob na ang nailabas ko sa inyo dahil lamang sa aking kalituhan tungkol sa aking sarili at kurso. siguro nga gusto niyo na akong sampalin sipain suntukin sabunutan at dumugin sa pabalik-balik kong "shift o dili". pero di niyo parin ginawa. bagkus minahal niyo ako inintindi ginabayan at sinuportahan sa mga balak ko. alam ko malungkot kayo nung sinabi kong aalis na ako. pero ang sabi niyo sa akin "kung saan ka masaya, dun din kami". kaya salamat ng marami. at hanggang ngayon di niyo parin ako iniiwan kahit medyo malayo-layo tayo sa isa't-isa. alam kong medyo may problema na rin ang isa sa atin ngayon. hawak kamay lang. magtulungan. at kung saan man tayo lahat masaya. suportahan natin ang isa't-isa. WE WILL FOREVER POLLUTE EACH OTHER'S LIFE. laging tandaan yan. oh ha. nagkabuang nko ug tagalog ato. bawi na akng utang na 3.! hahaha. :D

sa CLiMsterz. kai anin rupu jipoi master iber gehgeh. THANK YOU. even though we are taking different paths. we still didn't stop taking care of each other. saaar. mao na mkhlak jd ko. hahaha. echos. pro btw slmt jd. kai master slmt sa suporta. ngsbot ta na magsabay ta ship. jump jump pta tng pgkblo nto na magship nko. hahaha. pro nagpabilin ka. pro nagpabilin ka. hahaha. kblo ko grbe pd to atng emo2 sessions sa telephone. hahaha. cge lng master. padaun lng sa arki. do it for me.? hahaha. atlis naa pka dra. hatag nlng nko akng dream smo na mag arki ko. hahaha. kblo ko dghn pa concept papers muabot. humanda. hahaha. kai iber slmt sa pag uban sko sa algebra. sa mga paglalakbay kay mam ferraren. haha. dnt wori ber. nagship man ka krn. i wish u happiness. ipasa na ang algebra ha. go go kaya lgi na. :D kai anin. huii indaii. drama kau ni. haha. slmt lng. sa tnan2. sa mga kachubahan nto. sa mga chika. kai edward cullen ug kay tanya. hahaha. kblo ko love ko nmo. saaar. haha. sa eclipse dai mamalit npd ta dvd. hahaha. kai gehgeh. slmt geh. neremember pto nmong isa ka gabii na ngtxt ka.? tng seryoso gd kau ta. hahaha. slmt kau ato. nktabang to. unta tnuod to tnan imo ingn ato na tym. :D kai jipoii. forever njd tka doctor. slmt jip sa mga advices. mski na nagsmart nka krn. mkacry jd sya. hahaha. i knw i still have a friend in you whom i can confide to. sunggo. english to ha. unta tma. hahaha. at kai rupu. hoii ruplets. marami na taung PINAGSAMAHAN. at alam mo na kng ano yan. alam mo na un. haha. slmt ato. nkatuon ko. dnt wori. maglearn pko pra ma hawd nko. hahaha. unta mkita njd nmo si one true love. unta totohanan npd na imng pagbabago. ipa ila2 sko kng knsa man imng bgong girlalu krn. hahaha.

.to the garapols --- kai hippo nesto ajos papa jon mama jaed. the rest of the design 2 students na design 4 na krn. whooo. asenso na kau mo ha. mypmo. ako pipichugin ghpn. hahaha. slmt slmt slmt slmt. the memories we all shared will forever be treasured in my heart. i'll never forget those. i learned from every detail we had gone through and i will keep those learnings as i journey through my life. mga lamay moments. hilak moments. taranta moments. bagsak moments. pasa moments. draft moments. tinabangay moments. dinaganay moments. and most of all the exhibit. that event really strucked me and changed my perspective. saar arki kau. haha. continue drafting your life's floor plan as i do to mine also. together we'll make a very good elevation from it. develop the site with full of details. then finally draw the most beautiful perspective of all. both interior and exterior. fully rendered jd ah. :D

.to all my seniors in arki. the higher years. as i said last year. thank you for being such an inspiration to us. thanky you for accepting us to the family ,especially me, and for not letting us feel that we are different. mostly, thank you for designing the best house for us the newbies. we were just new with no shelter to live in. thank you for building us not just a house but a HOME where you all shared with us your talents, skills, and life. :D

.uhm jintot. alam mo na. speechless says it all. hahaha. thank you for that one great summer. don't worry. next time. i'll be the one to draw that butterfly. you already know where. koko krunch. :D

.to the new people i met in addu. thank you for bumping into my life. harsh. bump jd. hahaha. yeps. even though i am an international student as what i call myself. haha. kay wlay permanent cmates. you still accepted me and welcomed me like im one of your regular cmates. thanky thanky. you were all my companions in my journey towards adjusting in my first year in ateneo --- a super whole new world. THANKS. :D

.TRIPOD --- dash and yabee. my ecstasies. my catalysts. my drugs. my shabus. my weeds. hahahahaha. we are now 3 and still counting. we have been through super ups and super downs already. but whatever happens to us along the way. i will never get tired of loving the you two. you are truly the sisters i dreamed of when i was still a child. (i wanted to have a sister but momi and papa gave me a baby brother. hahaha.) thank you for understanding my imperfections and for being always there when i dnt knw what to do anymore. i knw it has been tons and tons and tons of tears already that i shed to the two of you. andam pa ug balde. dghn pa muabot for sure. hahaha. thank you for supporting me in my shifty thingy. you were one of the first few people whom i shared the news. i can still remember i was really sobbing. so crying. when i told you about it. thank you for always removing the pressure i feel inside. that everytime i am with you i feel like i have no problems. no worries. i feel just like a common person with a great dream. "okei lng na jerk. love ghpn ka nmo yabee. bgsak man pd gni mi. haha." --- nka tugsh jd ni skng heart. haha. thank you thank you thank you tripod. every little thing i do. it's all because of you. saar uii. haha. to make it simpler. you are one of the reasons why i want to succeed. love you both. mua mua mua. rgrds me to kaloyski and fifi. :D

.to HIM. eeeefff.!! naglagot ko nimo.!! grrrooo.!! raaarrrr.!! i hate the fact why do you have to torture me when you know already that i love you. echos. hahaha. ambot nimo uii. grabe na kau ni atng love story ba. hantod krn wa ghpn happy ending. wai patutunguhan. wai klaro. mahuman nlng ang 4 movie sequels sa twilight. kita naa pa sa new moon. wla pjd gni nahuman sa new moon. kaluoii. hahaha. well sabi nga sa 500 days of summer. WE HAVE NO LABELS. EXPECTATIONS ARE FAR DIFFERENT FROM REALITY. siguro nga. bhla na si destiny. unta pukpukon nya imng ulo pra matauhan nka. hahaha. pro di lng man pd kna tnan akng gusto iingn. i want to say THANK YOU too. those days with you were one of my most happiest. and i won't regret it. ever. you were the first one who called me on that historical day of my life. that moment i felt most that you really care for me. isa lng nmn ang hinihingi ko sau. maging honest ka lng. un lng. okeii na ako. at sana. maging okeii ult tau. naks. hahaha. :D

.momi. papa. konti lng to pro very deep. salamat sa pag intindi sa kagustuhan kong mag shift. salamat sa suporta kahit alam kong mejo na disappoint kau nung sinabi ko un. alam ko nanghihinayang kau konti. sana lng ay patuloy nyo prn akng suportahan sa bagong landas na tinatahak ko ngaun. siguradong madadapa ult ako. ang layo pa kc ng lalakbayin ko. sana ay di kau mgsawang tulungan akng tumayo at suportahan sa laban kong ito. i love you. :D

.and most of all. to my KUYA. my BRO. KUYA sabi ko sau dati hinay hinay lng. mukhang nadamihan ata. hahaha. pero okeii. lng. i knw you have given me all those so that i could learn something. totoo nga. not just something. but i learned many things.!! a bounty of them. thank you KUYA for these learnings. thank you for letting me understand what is the real reality of life. at least ngaun may knowledge na ako kht konti at kng mangyayari man ult skn yan ay di na masyado ako mahihirapan. thank you most for the guidance support and understanding. for the never ending love and care. i knw mejo naging pasaway ako. sna ay mapatawad mo ako sa mga kapasawayan ko. thank you for the 2009 memories. for the happiness and laughs i had. KUYA 2010 is coming. so much is ahead for me. new fight na nmn ito.  i hope you'll never get tired of me. partners in crime forever ha. unta KUYA pasa ko skng 3 ka math krn 2 ka chem 2 ka minors ug 2 ka super minors. sana nga KUYA. for mom dad friends and especially. YOU. I LOVE YOU. :D

HIGH SCHOOL CHUMS
ARCHITECTS OF MY LIFE
NEW FOUND FRIENDS
TRIPOD
FAMILY
KUYA

maraming salamat
thank you very much
xie xie
arigatou gozaimasu
kamsahamnida
:D

MERRY MERRY

MERRY KURISUMASU piplets!!! sorry if my greetings were delayed. haha. at least better late than never. hope you had a great time celebrating christmas with your families and loved ones. merry christmas once again. HAPPY CANDLE CAKES DAY JESUS!!! love love you all. :))

MASAYA

.post ult ako. haha. kawawa na tlga tng blog ko. wlang ka update2. pro cge lng. go go go prn ako dto kht konti lng entries. :))

.anyways. start of vacation na nmn. i mean christmas break. nakakaloker. ang saya ng first 2 days ng break ko. dec 19 and 20 was so fun. had lunch xmas get together with my cmates at addu. mga V1 na wlang ibang alam kundi puro kalokohan. haha. nag exchange gips din kmi. slmt chip.! sa gip mong bonggang bongga na cash. haha. at kay justin. sna nagustuhan mo gip ko. wells wells. nasa fb na piturs. tag urselves piplets. :)) after nun. diretso agad ako sa PIZZArro. hahahaha. nandun mga cmates ko dti sa arki. wen i still studied in um. loker ult. they invited me and that if i dont come daw. kukulatahin ako ni lola. woah. kaya come come come tlga ako. hahaha. ang saya. ngkita ult kmi ni hippo after how many yrs of not seeing each other. woah. oh yeah. i miss the hippo-baki bonding. then basketball.!! with the boys.!! oh yeah. as iin the boys jd. haha. nalingaw ko. pildi nko c nesto sa 1on1. hahaha. i didnt swim2 though. wla akng dalang gamit. kaya aun. dakilang spectator. pro nalingaw ghpn ko. ako tig pitur sa ila. oh bongga. haha. exchange gips also wid co2. at ang saya ng pakulo ni tina. ilad2 jd ha. bntay lng ka sunod tin. haha. gave my gip also to jintot. abi nko nkabawi nko. sus nkdla pjd ug bala. pildi ghpn ko sa gera. haha. aun. lingaw. as iin. lingaw jd. hantod sa pag uli. cge lng. many bonding days to come pa. im sure. pool npd ta ani sunod. hahaha. then kinabukasan. with the tripod nmn ako. nkakaloker ult. as iiin. hahaha. loka lng kc i miss those days when we bond together tpos wlang ibang gawin kundi ang gumawa ng kakornihan at tumawa narin sa aming kakornihan. hahaha. iba tlga pag kasama ko sila. its like home away from home. saaaar. oh ha. gave my gip also to them. yabee gave us a cute little chuchu na cellchain. c dash wla pdw sya gip smo. kaya ang bingay nya. hahaha. lingaw kau. sun sim sko na 777 ang num. tps kay yabee. 100php gift check sa sm. hahaha. funny jd. pro dnt worry dash. gift prn un. christmas treasures ko prn. :)) i also borrowed a book from her. there's no place like here by cecelia ahern. tagal ko ng gustong hiramin to sa knya. ngaun ko lng nakuha sa bahay nila. hahaha. cecelia ahern by the way ay isa sa pambansang author nmn sa tripod along with bob ong. hahaha. we had tempura chips and c2 for the drinks. oh dba. gnyan kmi mag party. its the thought that counts jd. hahaha. i love you tripod. super love jd. :))

.oh yan. may update na tlga ako. summary lng un. pro alam ko nafifil nyo na masaya ako sa maikling post ko na ito. wells. happy nga. masaya.sna magtuloy2. :))

.umuulan ngayon. ang sarap ng panahon. eto talaga mga gusto ko. mas lalo akong sumasaya. weee. :))

DECEMBER 14, 2008

.kopya ito ng ym chat namin noong ika-14 ng disyembre taong 2008. akala ko ay isa na naman itong masayang alaala kasama sya. yunn pala kabaliktaran. sinabi niyang di pa sya handa. at kaibigan na lang muna raw kami. naintindihan ko rin naman daw. pero sa kaloob-looban ko. binubugbog na ng lahat ng boksingero ang puso ko. ang sakit. ang hapdi. dumudugo.

NAGPAALAM
NAG-I LOVE YOU
NAG-SIGN OUT

.kinabukasan.? pinakamalas na araw ko. ewan.


Show Recent Messages (F3)

dinelle amper: .wiwert.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .naa nku.
Ralph Castillo: yea
Ralph Castillo: sori gyud au ha..... pro i cant mak it on 18.
dinelle amper: .ookee lng.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .uhm.
dinelle amper: .i understand.
Ralph Castillo: tnx
dinelle amper: .cguro nga.
dinelle amper: .wrong tyming ta
dinelle amper: =)
Ralph Castillo: sori gyud...
dinelle amper: .maybe we just nid more time.
dinelle amper: .sayang lng.
Ralph Castillo: its not easy for me to plump.....
Ralph Castillo: pro i think its betr....
dinelle amper: .better na.??
Ralph Castillo: fro us to be frnds....?
Ralph Castillo: for
dinelle amper: .well.
dinelle amper: .kng mas mka ayo na sya sto.
dinelle amper: .why not ba.
dinelle amper: .dba.
Ralph Castillo: sabagay....
dinelle amper: .syang lng.
dinelle amper: .we had the moment already.
dinelle amper: =)
Ralph Castillo: cge lng......
Ralph Castillo: frnd man ta dba?
dinelle amper: .oh uii.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .wla man nag ingn na enemies ta.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: btaw....
dinelle amper: .someday.
dinelle amper: .muabot lng na c kupido.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: ambt lng?
Ralph Castillo: paminaw nimu mu abut?
dinelle amper: .muabot sya krng feb14.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .pro.
dinelle amper: .i believe.
dinelle amper: .muabot to.
dinelle amper: .na traffic lng cguro.
Ralph Castillo: cguro...
dinelle amper: .kng maabot man to sya.
dinelle amper: .unta right time njud.
Ralph Castillo: pro i dnt tink so.. kung mag abt pa.
dinelle amper: .nibalik na sya sa ilang balay.!?
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .syang lng.
Ralph Castillo: nganu sayang man?
dinelle amper: .kai ready to shot na unta to c kupido. gibawi lng nya.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: bc man gud ma unhappy lng ka sa ako....
dinelle amper: .woah.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .i mean.
dinelle amper: .eh di sana.
dinelle amper: .sa una pa. i stopped knowing things bout u.
Ralph Castillo: nganu man?
dinelle amper: .kng ma unhapi jud ku sa imu.
dinelle amper: .sauna plang unta i didnt bond with u na.
dinelle amper: .but i felt hapi being wid u.
dinelle amper: .aun.
Ralph Castillo: ako man pud.
dinelle amper: .see.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .we gave each other happiness.
Ralph Castillo: yea
dinelle amper: .and i have no rgrets.
dinelle amper: .i dnt regret knwing you. being wod you.
dinelle amper: wid.
Ralph Castillo: bcag ako... i evn considr my self very lucky being wid u...
dinelle amper: .me too.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .murag heben pag mag uban ta.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: owtzz..?
dinelle amper: .oh oh.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .mkwala ug poblema sa kinabuhi.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: samut na cguro para sa ako..
dinelle amper: .kng pwd lng mag uban nta permi.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: pwd man ghapn... dba
dinelle amper: .pwd kau.
dinelle amper: .pro mu uli pman ka sa pantukan.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: pantukan?
dinelle amper: .krng christmas vaction.
dinelle amper: .dba mu uli ka.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: ahhhhh yea.
dinelle amper: .mag laag2 unta ta.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: asa man/
dinelle amper: .mski asa ta maabot.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .pro mu uli naman ka.
Ralph Castillo: wn man di imu planu?
dinelle amper: .sa 19.!?
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .naa nka tagum ana.
Ralph Castillo: wala pa...
dinelle amper: .wen pman diay ka mu uli.??
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: sat pa cguro.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .kng game ka.
dinelle amper: .manlaag ta.
Ralph Castillo: ok
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .pag study na uii.
dinelle amper: .prelims na bya ninu.
Ralph Castillo: cge lng
dinelle amper: .thank you.
Ralph Castillo: ha?
dinelle amper: tanku.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .for bumping urself to me.
Ralph Castillo: ahhhh....
Ralph Castillo: ok
dinelle amper: .ur a blessing to me gud.
dinelle amper: .haha.
Ralph Castillo: rily?
dinelle amper: .oh oh.
dinelle amper: .gibutang tka sa blessings list nku.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .u made me hapi.
Ralph Castillo: ok
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .di pka mag study.??
Ralph Castillo: dili pa. nganu man dili na ka mag ol?
dinelle amper: .ol ghpn.
dinelle amper: .haha.
dinelle amper: .hantod unyang buntag pku ani.
Ralph Castillo: aw....
dinelle amper: .ikaw mag wat pka.//
dinelle amper: ??
Ralph Castillo: wala lng.
Ralph Castillo: spend time wid u
Ralph Castillo: cge nlng....
Ralph Castillo: bye bye na..
Ralph Castillo: gud nyt...
Ralph Castillo: love u....
Ralph Castillo has signed out. (12/15/2008 12:05 AM)

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.wakas. tapos. THE END.

HAPPY BONIFACIO DAY

.woah. wla akng post ngaung november.!! ang dami pa nmang nangyari. busy nga lng lately dhl skul mode na. kaya wla tlga akng napost. well. pra lng may ma post tlga ako this nov. greet ko nlng kau ng hpi bonifacio day. at bukas dec 1 na. malapit na tlga christmas. wag kalimutan gift ko ah. hahaha. i love you all. may my christmas be super merry and happy. :))

RC COLA

.ang tagal ko ng gustong ipost to. pertii lng man gd ning banyantel ba. pa echos kau. cannot find server daw mga blogger sites. it lasted for how many days din. and i was so wondering what caused it. if it was just the net connection really or something is wrong with my laptop. buti ngaun okeii na. yeii yeii. haha. :))

.bhla na ni. ipost ko na lahat dito. as ip pd mabsahan ni nya. di btw. wla btw sya kblo skng blog. actually no one does i think. haha. oh yeah. un na. gusto ko lng tlga to sbhn. gusto na tlgang mag explode ng utak ko. pti ng puso ko. saar. naks. khlak man pd ta ato. haha. :))

.ralph khristopher colindres castillo. oh ha. full name na na. sharo. haha. di na nko i caps lock kay i think super emphasis na. haha. oh un. sya nga. sya ang paksa ng post na ito. ewan ko. i just dnt knw to whom i should share this. nahihiya kc ako. kaya i kip it to myslef nlng. then i realized. what's the use of my blog.? haha. kya eto. pagpasensyahan na. sa blog ko nlng ibubuhos. haha. :))

.sasabihin ko na. mahal na mahal na mahal ko prn c ralf. un nga lng. nag iba na ngaun. dti kc open kmi. eh ngaun. close na. :(( we became cold. nabahiran na kc ng smthng ung "relationship" nmn. kya nga. everytime pinapatugtog ang angels or devils ng dishwalla. igo kau ko.!! as iin.!! struck to d flesh jd ang drama. i think sign kau to. tng gikan mi watch twilight. pag uli nmo. naa mi sa mcdo bajada ato. nikanta ang banda sa atbang ug angels or devils. makaluya. mao njd diay to. :(( hala wa na. kahilakon nko nag type krn. hahaha.

.sya man gd ba. nglagot jd ko sa iya. as iin super. ktng day na nag ingn sya sko na FRIENDS nlng sa daw mi. as iin. nahulog jd akng world ato. nag drawing pjd ko plates ato. halos wla nkoii gana mag drwing sa apartment chuba na plato. pro gipadaun nko. kai mas lalo di ko gusto isipon ang iyang gi ingn. kng kblo lng sya unsa ka sakit akng whole being that time. na wla ko ksbt kng muhilak bko o dli. besides di ko pwd muhilak kai naa c mommy nagtelebabad pa ato. :)) SAKIT jd sya. IT HURTS. wla ko kblo unsa ako iingn sa iya after he told me dat. ni andar lng akng pgka understanding kuno. that all i said was. "kng yan gusto mo. okeii lng. i understand" aaaargh. mksuya na mkalagot na wla jd ko ksbt. gusto nko ipangutana sa iya that time. "NGANO? BAKIT? WHY?" when we already had the time of our lives.? when we are already at the peak.? when we are almost reaching the climax.? actually wla pa nga climax. denoument agad. as iin. konti nlng. sasagutin ko na sya. sna hinintay nya nlng. pro hindi eh. fil ko nainip. or worst. nakakita ng iba. :((

.skit nga. skit. ang sakeeeet. kinabukasan.? i was the most malas person in the world. nkalimutan ko ID ko. late ako ng 30mins sa klc ko. exm ko pa sa anageom nun. wla pa akng dalang ballpen. as iin. ang tanga.! ngkaroon pa ako ng skandalo sa um bolton dhl mutya ng um nun. aaaargh. nahihiya tlga ako sa lht ng mga taong tumulong skn nun. THANK YOU ult sa inu. para bang wla akong ganang "mabuhay" that day. haha. exaj sya i knw. hyperbole. pro un tlga ung filing ko nun. na hanggang sa pag uwi ko. sa jeep. ako ay umiyak. hndi ko na napigilan. wla na akng pake alam nun kng nkta man ng ibang tao. bsta akoii umiyak. akoii nasktan. at masakit tlga. yun na nga. simula nun. di ko na alam kng ANO tlga kmi. kmi ba o hindi.? MU pba kmi o di na.? may karapatan pba akng sagutin sya o wla na.? ung mga ganun. questions like that kept swirling around my mind. dot dot dot. we became cold. SO COLD. :((

.until i heard some stories that may iba na nga daw sya. ma ibang someone na sya. cmate daw nya. mas lalo pa ung nkapag justify sa theory ko na bka nga may iba na sya. so i tried to accept it. unti unti kong sinabi sa sarili ko na di na sya babalik kailanman. may iba na sya ngaun at di na ako un. mskit sya. pro kinailangan. dhl pag di ko gnawa. bka mas lalo akng masaktan sa huli. ung para bang umaasa sa wala. gets nyo.? oh alam nyo na yan. my conclusion even got stronger when i saw him and his rumored new someone holding hands together infornt of a well known university here in davao. they were standing. laughing. they were so happy i guess. from the way they laugh and held hands together. they were with some friends din. di lng silang dlwa. pro kakaloka prn. of all the people in the world. WHY ME.!? as iin ya tlga ang naging tanong ko dat tym. nkt ako.!? bkt ako pa ang nkakita sa knila na mgka hawak kamay.? di ko alam.!! di ko tlaga maintindihan ang feeling ko dat nyt. ewan ko ba kng bkt pa dumaan ung jip dun. at ewan ko rin kng bkt doong route ako dumaan na pwd naman dun sa usual route ko pauwi. fate.? destiny.? :((

.di ko na sya ginambala. di na ako nagtanong ng anu pman sa knya. pra skn sapat na ung nkita ko. actions speak louder than words ika nga. skt lng. wlang mgawa. kelangan tanggapin. hanggang sa. eto na un. dumating ung araw na sya ay "nagbabalik". oh nga. ngbabalik tlga. npag usapan nga nmn ung mga bagay na un. tinanong ko sa knya. lht. at ang sbi nya. di daw un totoo. i mean. si girl lng daw ang may gusto sa knya. pro sya daw wla. dhl nga daw ako daw tlga gusto nya. minsan pa nga daw ay tinanong sya ng girl na kng pwd ba maging cla at ang ang sagot dw nya ay di pwd dhl ako lng dw tlga. alam dn daw un ng girl. di na ako kumibo. di ko alam kng anong mgiging reaction ko. the only feeling i felt that time was. confused. somehow i want to punch him. and there's also a bit of betrayal. most of all. nawala ung trust ko sa knya. aun. after pa nmn ung sinabi nya na friends nlng kmi. ilang months wlang txt chat o ano ba. tpos ung mga rumors pa. syempre. di maiwasan. mwawala ung trust. at alam ntng lahat mahirap ibalik to. kya un nguguluhan ako nung snbi nya.

.pro meron pang isang bagay na sigurado ako nung araw na un. I LOVE HIM and i dnt want him to go away from me. sinabi ko un sa knya. pro wla rin. i was a super broken person that time. di dhl sa knya ah. cguro partly may kinalaman sya. pero most was because of my uncertainties. nagshift kc ako ng course so i have to fix myself first. ang pangit din nmn kc that i will enter into somthng with him tpos mismo sarili ko di ko magawang ayusin. gusto nya magsimula ult kmi. pro ako parang di pa reay dhl nga i have to fix myself first. sya rin ang kwawa kng nagsimula kmi ult nun tpos ako prang wla lng. pro deep inside me. mahal na mahal ko tlga sya. may kelangan pa nga lng akng ayusin bgo ko mabigay ng buo ang sarili ko sa knya. saar. murag true. pro tnuod jd btw. aun. ewan ko lng ano tlga final verdict. umuwi kmi na hanging prn ang lht2. :((

.ngayon. masasabi kong. okeii na ako. di man ganap na as iin super okeii. pro pwd na. un nga lng. un na. prang nalamatan na kng anuman ung meron kmi. COLD na nga. once in a blue moon yellow moon black moon o anong moon pman yan nlng kmi ngtetext. kht sa chat. pertii. mupalakpak nko kng maabot ug 500 words and above amo nastoryahan. so sad. ready na sna ako ngayon. pro di ko alam. alam ko. may kasalanan din ako. di rin nmn sya dpt lht i blame dto. it is both our fault. the only thing is. we dont know how to get back anymore. or should i say. cguro alam nmn. di lng nmn kayang gawin. nahihiya. nauunahan ng takot. kinakabahan. we are already afraid to take the risks. not like before. :((

.ralph. sa kabila ng lahat ng ito. i still THANK YOU for everything. you made me so happy. if only you know how much happiness you brought me. how you bring a different smile in me everytime i see your face. as iin ralph. those days with you were one of my most happiest times ever. di ko pinagsisihan. NO REGRETS ever. at dhl akoii pinsaya mo ng sobra sobra noong mga araw na un. ngayon namimiss ko na. :((

.ralph khristopher colindres castillo. i still love you. it might have changed a bit. but it did not fade away. :(( :))

THE 23rd AND THE 24th :))

.woah. i decided to go back to my usual way of writing blogs. the informal way it is. mas comfortable ako. yo know. halong english tagalog at bisaya. understandable pa rin naman yan. haha. at isa pa. i can express more my feelings this way. mas lalo kong ma share sa inyo mga feelings ko. :))

.well anyway. dapat kahapon ko pa to nagawa pero pinatulog na ako ni mommy. kaya aun. continuation today. haha. oh tama a. so muc for all the introductions. here's all what i want to share to you. :))

.23rd of october. whooo. grabeee.!! didn't expect it'll turn out so fun. di ko talaga inasahang ganoon kasaya ang mangyayari. oh na oh na. JDT day nga pala namin ni jintot ang 23. JDT stands for jinTOTnid drmstx tuloPISO. haha. and for the history.? ask me na lang. it is so so a long story. :)) oh 'yun na. ang saya talaga. jintot planned that we really should see each other on the 23rd of october kase matagal na rin kami hindi nagkikita. and it's a very wonderful feeling that it happened. i mean natuloy talaga. gmal-ncmal-sm-gmal-sm. ganito ka adventurous ang journey namin. hahaha. :)) nakakaloka talaga. pero i did enjoy it super. she even gave me GUMMY WORMS. gift daw niya sa 'kin sa aming JDT day. i hate it.!! super.!! wala akong naibigay sa kanya. and worst. i was never expecting that gummy worms. aaaaargh.!! hahaha. as in nasuya jud ko sa iya. wala man lang siya nagwarning. wala ko nakapaghanda. suya.!! wala koy nahatag sa iya. i hate you jintot i hate you. hahaha. humada ka. makabalos lang lagi ko. humanda jud. :)) ayun. we ate. we walky walky in the mall. we watch sine.!! gforce.!! hahaha. the best. walang ka tao-tao sa sinehan. parang nirentahan namin 'yung sinehan. hahaha. konti lang tao. baka na rin siguro matagal na showing ang gforce pero sa amin ngayon pa lang kami nakapanood. hahaha. 'yun. super duper eber saya. until now. i'm still confused if i'll eat the gummy worms or not. :)) nasasayangan ako. hahaha. gusto ko siya i preserve na gusto ko rin kainin. hmmm. hahaha. as of now. i'll just make tutok na lang muna of the gummy worms. it really makes me smile. the gummy worms really bring a one of a kind curve on my face. pag makita na ko. maka smile jud ko. :)) maisip na ko ang drama na gibuhat ni jintot para lang naay surprise effect chuba. na hantod karon di gihapon ko makatuo na para jud diay to sa 'ko ang gummy worms. weeee. THANKY jintot THANKY. you're simply one of the best. thanks for makin' JDT's 7th month so memorable. i owe you one. don't worry. i'll make bawi. unta maka wakwak na ta. i really miss it na. haha. thank again. ILY much. hugs hugs hugs. gusto tka i hug. next time na lang pag magkita ta. :))

.24 na tayo. 24th of october 2009. di pa nga ako naka get over sa 23. may 24 agad. haha. oh nga. ganyan kabilis ang mga pangyayari. yesterday was our arki swim swim bonding. haha. saya ulit. lola invited me sa arki outing daw lagi nila. ayun. game naman ako. whooo. saya. ang aga pa.!! super. sabi ni lola 7:30 am daw kami magkita. woah. gising naman ako ng maaga. haha. we went to berna's house after. may luto luto effect na nangyayari doon. :)) doon pa lang masaya na. i met berna's mom finally. and i really do love her. jamming kaayo iyang mama. as iin. love her. open to us. bagets pud. maki jive jud sa amo. that's why i didn't have the difficulty to make bonding bonding with her too. :)) she was the one who cooked our food. bihon ever plus she let me prepare the sinugbang bangus. haha. super saya talaga. magic sarap granules.!! hahaha. berna tell your mom i had a great time aking chika with her and that i want to meet her again soon. tapos mag chika chuchu ulit kami. hahaha. :)) then we went ahead to summerland na. nakakaloka. we were all 17. though ganoon lang ang number namin. we still were able to had fun and make the most out of it. :)) it was like a reunion for me. dahil nga rin. somehow. namiss ko rin sila. at ako lang ata ang joiners don sa outing na iyon haha. yah know. ako lang ang di arki doon. ex arki nga lang. hahaha. :)) it feels so good lang din. because they welcomed we with all their loving arms. saaar. haha. kahit di na ako arki. di nila ako tinuring na iba. at 'yun. mas lalo akong ginanahan. i love them all so much. :)) swim swim to the max ako doon. may pa jump2 pa si lola sa 11 ft. dive dive ang drama. grabe lola. brave kaayo. matapang. haha. kami tawun ni berna. pa gunit gunit lang sa kilid. haha. si dora ay orange fever kaayo uii. pati sa pag swim2 orange gihapon. flower flower pa. haha. 'yun. tinuruan rin kami ni john the basics of swimming. at ang saya. nagswimswim na ako sa 11 ft. yeii. kaya ko na. 'yun nga lang. di ko pa dare mag dive. haha. at gusto ko talaga malaman paano mag float. eh lumulubog ako eh. hahaha. lingaw pud kaayo akong snapshots. i captured pidotsky's dive as well as ernest's lola's and rhea's. pero ang pinaka the best jud. ang dive ni john.!! whooo.!! mura jud sky diving ang tirada.!! hahaha. sakita ato uii. kung makakita lang mo. bang jud kaayo iyang lawas sa pool. hahaha. whooo john the best jud ka. i'll just post the photos on fb later para makita niyo. :)) swim2 eber. kain2. dive2. picture2. :)) then after. we went to dora's house. yeah.!! as in toril beibeh.!! hahaha. unexpected kaayo. wala sa plano. pero dahil sa call of urgency na kami ay maligo dahil walang clear cr sa summerland. 'yun. sa bahay kami nila dora naligo.!! whooo saya. malapit na rin kasi bahay nila doon. kaya nag tricycle lang kami. at 'yun na. pagdating doon. gumawa kami ng lagim sa cr ni dora. BWAHAHAHA. at kung ano 'yun.!? sikreto na. amin na lang iyon. hahahaha. pero i tell you. super lagim talaga siya. na kahit si hayden kho at katrina halili ay mapapanganga sa ginawa namin. hahaha. whooo. sayang lang at wala si tina. complete na sana kami co2. bondong ulit. tapos doon din sa lagim namin. hahaha. sige lang. next time. uulitin natin 'yun co2. kasama na si tina. hahaha. whooo. love it. it was my first time doing it. and what made it more special.? i was with you guys. thanky co2. sa uulitin. whooo. haha. ihanda ang mga panty at bra. :))


.and those are my two straight great wonderful memorable days. i still have a lot of things to share with you guys. another topic na naman. pero next time na lang. ayokong bahiran ng sad chuchu ang post na ito. gusto kong happy lang siya. and i want to keep it that way. :))

RF

I'm supposed to be in bed right now. I said to myself that I'll sleep early. But I guess, I can't resist the call for posting something again on my blog. I'm lovin' it anyway :))

For this post, it is about someone. He's a HE. Let us call him by the title itself --- RF. I admit. I miss him. You know that feeling when you thought you can "live" without him but just can't. I mean, oh yes we have nothing to do with our lives anymore, no more strings attached, but, I just can't help thinking of him again and again. Maybe, really maybe, I do miss him. We are still friends now. We sometimes go out. We text or even chat. But that's very seldom now. Not like before, we can stay awake just "be" with each other until 4 am. :))

See the difference? Yes. There's really a difference. That is the reason maybe I'm missing him. Sometimes I have the urge already to text him but at the very last minute I chose not to. Maybe that is better for us. We do not have that mutual understanding anymore. No more strings attached as I have said. So maybe that is the best way for us to do. Though I know it's hard for me but I was the one who chose not to. So I should endure the consequences.

I just miss him. There's a part of me that says how I wish that time would happen again --- when we were still so into each other that I can really feel his love and care for me. But I know I can't turn back time anymore. It has already passed. Whatever it is that is in stake for my present, I'll accept it. :))

Now I know. LOVE really makes the world go round. Last year I was so pre-occupied with my plates and drawing stuffs but yet, I still managed to smile and laugh because of him. Now, I have no worries with any plates anymore, yet, I still have to pass through the eye of the needle before I can get my reasons for smiling and laughing. See the difference? But I don't regret anything. He made me so happy those times that it came to a point that I really felt like I was in heaven. :))

It is just that, I miss him.

ANG UNANG POST KO NA SALIN SA WIKANG FILIPINO

Natapos na rin ang unang semester ko sa ADDU at ang ikatlong college semester ko sa kabuuan. Alam niyo naman siguro kung bakit naging ganito ang sitwasyon. :)) Yun nga. Nag-shift ako. Oh tama muna iyan. At marami pa akong ikekwento sa inyo dito ngayon. :))

Simula na talaga ng sembreak ko. Kung ang iba ay nag-aaral pa rin ngayon at nagkakandarapang habulin ang mga deadlines, heto ako nakatapat na sa laptop ko. Pwede na akong magbabad sa internet kahit 24 oras pa iyan. :)) Wala na kasing inaalala. :)) Nag twitter na ako at nag update na rin sa facebook ko. Natapos ko na rin ang kinababaliwan kong laro, ang plants vs. zombies. Sa ngayon ay inaalgaan ko na lang ang aking zen garden at palaro-laro ng mini games. :))

Partial sembreak na rin si mommy. :)) Siya kasi ang gumigising sa 'kin tuwing may pasok ako. Pero minsan naman, ako'y nag-aalarm sa 'king cellphone. Iyon nga lang may mga sandali talaga na hindi ako makagising sa tunog ng aking alarm. :)) Si mommy rin ang naghahanda ng aming agahan. Siya rin ang naghahanda ng "lunch" ng kapatid ko at maging sa akin noong ako'y nagbabaon pa. Superwoman nga raw siya ika niya. :)) Masaya si mommy tuwing wala kaming klase. Makakagising siya ng matagal. At ang pinaka-LOVE niya talaga --- mababantayan na niya ang kanyang FARMTOWN. :))

Sa susunod na linggo pa ata ang sembreak ng aking kapatid. Pero wala na iyong problema. May laptop na ako kaya hindi na kami mag-aaway sa kung sino man ang gagamit ng computer. WiFi na rin dito sa bahay. May bago na rin kaming Sony Home Theater System. Lahat ng ito ay dahil kay papa. Bago siya umalis ay sinigurado muna niya na magiging masaya at komportable kami dito. Kaya salamat sa iyo papa. Aalagan ko ito lahat. :))

Hindi ko pa rin maiwasang isipin ang mga grado ko. Kahit sembreak na ngayon, napapa-isip pa rin ako kung tama ba 'yung mga sagot ko sa departmental exam. Nakakaloka. Lalo na sa algebra, napiga talaga ang utak ko. Para bang naubusan na ako ng sunflower at pea shooter kaya nakapasok ang zombies sa bahay ko at kinain nila utak ko. :)) Pero kahit ganun, nananalangin pa rin ako na sana nga ay malaki ang marka ko sa lahat ng subjects ko. Sana ay mabawi lahat ng mga maliliit kong grado. At sana --- SUPER SANA --- maging DL pa rin ako. Magiging DL ako. Sa tulong ng aking pinakamamahal na KUYA, kaya ko 'to! :))

Ano na ngayon? Hmmm. Nag-iisip ng magandang gawin sa sembrea. Gusto ko kasing maging memorable ito at puno ng saya.

Bukas ay magbobonding kami ng mga kagrupo ko sa Literature. KPKK victory party daw. :)) Sa ktv ang aming destinasyon. May kumakalat na mag Memergrande pa raw pagkatapos. Pero hindi na yata ako makakasama. May lakad pa ako kinabukasan. Baka hindi na ako payagan. Alam ko naman kahit saan kami, basta kasama ko silang lahat, magiging masaya eto. Kami pa! :)) Ang saya kaya ng grupong ito. Hinding hindi ko kailanman malilimutan ang aming pinagsamahan. Na ng dahil sa KPKK na drama, nagkaisa kami at nabuo ang pagsasamahang ipinundar namin sa kapangyarihan ni GUGMA. :))

Sa 18 ay pupunta ako ng party. Debut ni Debdeb, kaklase ko nung high school. Parang magsisilbing despedida party na rin niya ito dahil aalis na siya sa Nobyembre papuntang Australia. Doon na siya mag-aaral. Darating rin si Chandy sa kaarawan ni Debdeb. Kaya naman hindi ako pwedeng umabsent. Kailangan kompleto kami para magkaroon kami ng family picture ulit. joinerz_07 :))

Sa 23 rin ay nagyaya si Jintot. jinTOTnidate nga raw. :)) Agad naman akong pumayag at hindi na nagdalawang isip pa. Namimiss ko na rin ang jinTOTnidate. Kaya naman ay hindi ko na palalagpasin pa ang araw na iyan. :))

Nagyaya a rin si Dora. Gusto na nga raw niyang "bumalik" sa CO2. Ako'y natatawa. Hindi naman siya umalis. Eh bakit pa siya babalik? Sagot naman niya. Siya raw mismo ang "nagpawala" ng kanyang landas. Kaya siya na rin mismo ang babalik. Pero kung sa amin lang, hindi naman talaga siya umalis kaya anytime, welcome na welcome siya sa amin. Hindi rin naman matatawag na CO2 ang CO2 kung wala siya. Lima kami. Hindi kailanman iyan mababago kahit bagyong ondoy at pepeng pa ang rumagasa sa amin. :))

'Yan lang muna sa ngayon. Magpopost ulit ako sa mga susunod na araw. Tinatawag na ako ni mommy. Magbabarbecue muna ako ng karneng baboy. Ulam namin ngayong gabi.  :))

A CUT IN MY HEART

Usually, when you hear phrases like this, you will immediately think of something like a broken heart from a relationship. You know. Things like boyfriend-girlfriend connections. But for me, it's more than that.

Okay. I got a 67 on my algebra exam. It's so sad---SO FRUSTRATING. I know I could have done better---that I have the capacity, but still I didn't meet what was expected. I failed.

I really want to cry. I want to burst into tears and cry my lungs out loud. But I can't. I mean, I choose not to. If I cry now, who will wipe my tears and make it dry? No one.

I saw my bestfriend just this afternoon. I hugged her. My tears almost fell down. But I stopped it when she told me something good has happened to her. I don't want to ruin her moment. I don't want to disturb her happiness. So, I stopped it. I'm enduring the rush of falling tears up to this time.

I want to cry. I really need to talk to someone. Anyone. I wish someone could sew the cut in my heart.

FIRST

this will be my first ever post on my new blog. yeii. i've been longing for this. i was just so busy lately that i don't have time to update my new blog. well. anyway. i won't talk much yet today. though i have many stories in mind right now. i still want to keep it first. :)) as for the moment. i just would like to welcome myself. and also you. to my new blog. i hope in the days to come. we will have lots of bonding together. :)) see yah then!

www.seventhpaper.blogspot.com :))