ralph texted me today. i was shocked somehow. he shared to me that there is already a sun signal in pantukan. i replied to him. yeah we texted. shared some stories. until i received the text containing this message --- "should i still wait? should i still expect?" i know what he meant. i just made it sure i was thinking the right thoughts. then i was right. he asked if he still has the chance. i answered not anymore. then he replied to me, "aw. hahahaha. i'm late." then i told him why did he just tell me that today when i waited for him for almost 2 years. where was he during those times? he answered "do i have an excuse for being late? at least i was not absent." i replied, "yeah you may not be late but you made your absence too long and you didn't gave me any assurance." he replied back "i have an excuse letter here. it's a 2 year old excuse letter. but it's already useless. it's denied before it has gotten to you." i didn't know exactly what to say after. i want to read that excuse letter. I WANT TO HEAR THAT EXCUSE LETTER. i want to hear it from him. what was he feeling about me all those times we were apart. i just said to him i want to read that excuse letter somehow. but he replied "never mind. joke lang to. haha." i said sorry to him. sorry because i don't want to hurt him. and i don't mean to hurt him. but he just said "Don't be sorry. I don't deserve it. Save it for the most important person in your life now." i texted him "thank you ralph. one of my happiest moments were with you. and i don't regret all the things we made." i am not sure of the exact words of his reply, but if my interpretation is right, his text was like this, "you'll forget it soon. especially now that you have a new love." but i won't. i will always carry that memory for the rest of my life. it's not an illusion ralph. it's a memory. you were in it. we were in it. his last text was "encourage him to draw or paint you. because painting a picture of you is like painting a thousand words. and it spells and defies what love is. go ahead. tell him now. i know he will rush for it." i was like speechless and thoughtless for a few minutes. i wanted to cry but i don't know why. iiyak ba sa panghihinayang o iiyak dahil hindi ko akalaing ganoon pala niya ako kamahal? ewan.
i also had my last text. i told him i still want to be friends with him. that i want to him to meet kevin soon. i said sorry and thank you. after that, i did not receive any text message anymore.
i just found the most mature ralph this day. i was happy. but i don't know what was that happiness for. if only he acted like this way way way before, then he would not have to ask if he's late or not now. maybe i'm happy because naka-text ko na rin siya ng matino after 2 years. that we have talked about certain things. maybe, this is already our way of closing what we had before. closure. our love story has ended now. there is no more twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. no more edward. no more bella. sayang lang. sana sinabi niya lahat ng mga pinagsasabi niya kanina noon pa, yung panahon na mahal na mahal ko pa siya, yung halos hindi ko na alam ang gagawin sa kakahintay sa kanya. eto nga siguro yung sinasabi nilang, hindi kami para sa isa't isa. destiny just won't let us. we are just not meant to be.
RALPH,
I'm proud of you. You were man enough to accept the situation now. I know it's hard, I know it hurts, but I hope you'll be fine. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Thank you anyway. Raphelle is such a happy memory. I still want to be your friend. I am still your friend. Hope you feel the same way too.
Bella.
What happened today? It's like the first time I and Ralph texted. It was like Oct. 22, 2008 again.
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