DREAMSSS

i remember, last wed-thurs night, i dreamed bout ralph. in my dream, we were so happy together. we were undeniably sweet. we were in a certain store with key chains all over. i saw an A key chain. i dunno why A and what's with that A. i wanted to buy it but he said in my dream that he wanted to give me something more than that letter A. and so he handed me a key chain that is shaped like a little boy and a little girl with some little bells on it. he said that i should wear it always and that he will get mad if i won't wear it. he told me not to lose it. then he held my hand. i also held his' too. he wrapped my arms around me, pulled me closer to him. i wrapped my arms around him as well. then, poof. dream disappeared. another second passed, i just heard my mom calling my name telling me to wake up already.

okay now, WHAT WAS THAT DREAM ALL ABOUT?! does it have a meaning? if so, WHAT'S THE MEANING? i wanna know. but i know i will not know it. i will never know it. even though i want to find answers, they will never just show up. so okay, move on. continue living. go back to what i usually do. home school home school.

i miss you ralph. i do. and believe it or not, i miss kevin jake too. sigh. what is happening to me? i miss two boys. is that even right? well, i don't care anymore. put me to prison now because i'm definitely guilty. guilty of missing two boys in my life. guilty of bringing back memories with them. guilty of denying if i have really moved on now or not yet. GUILTY.