I THOUGHT OF NOT MAKING THIS ANYMORE BUT THEN I CHANGED MY MIND (MY 2011 SPEECH))

it's 12:07 in the morning and it's the last day of the year. hours from now, it will be 2012 already. before the last tick of the clock for 2011 happens, let me share this i-hope-not-so-emo words to all of you. it's my way of saying thank you to everyone and everything who has given an impact  this 2011.

to sir marloue, yes sir, you are the first. you deserve to be. hehe. thank you for saving me. yeah. really. i know it's cliche already but i'll say it again. i almost gave up (again) and was about to make a shift course (AGAIN). yeah the plan was already there, take up creative writing or mathematics. but THANK GOD for you. thank you for making my (ece) dreams alive (still). thank you for the never ending support sir. and when i say support, i mean SUPPORT. you know already what are those. SUPERMAN, you should have that name. :)

to maam ferolin, thank you for changing. hahaha! yeah, thank you. you truly are a mother to us. can't believe we'd be this close to you and you'd be this close to us. you know, they say, you are one of the powerpuff girls. but guess what, we are mojo jojo! we are destined to be connected forever. why mojo jojo? because sometimes we are "pabadlongs". hehe. sorry for that maam. don't worry, we'll do our best not to ruin the "city" anymore so that the powerpuff girls will not get tired from saving the day. :)

to my ECE family, thank you for the guidance. for the help. for the schematic diagram. for the pcb layout. for the soldering etching thingy. in short, FOR EVERYTHING. yeah. thank you so much for the big power supply help up to the very last small resistor that's a part of it. hahaha. for simply just being there whenever we need help. we are really a family. i hope we would stay intact as a family. i hope we would become stronger as a family. ONE ECE, ONE FAMILY. :)

to the MIGHTY 13, yeeeeeeeeeeeeees. yeah. THANK YOU. college life has never been this fun. i admit. i kinda actually have this small pinch of i-don't-like-going-to-school when i entered college. i always have a hard time waking up. yeah i force myself. good thing the force is strong enough. hehe. but when we established ourselves as the THIRTEEN, THE MIGHTY ONES, wow. i can already sleep at 2am because of studying and wake up at 6am. see the change you have brought to me? THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING ME. now i do not worry anymore so much of what tomorrow school stuffs will bring us because i know, I HAVE 13 CRAZY PEOPLE WHO WILL BE WITH ME, JOURNEYING THROUGH. let's get closer guys. let's be more open to each other. LET US BE MIGHTIER. :)

to my high school friends who will graduate this 2012, oh how wish so much that i would be with you wearing a toga too. haha! but i guess this is just the way it goes. i congratulate you all. hats off! hands down! if only you know how proud i am. if only you know that i, most of the time, stop at the registrar's bulletin and look for your names on the graduates list and i can't help but smile. yeah. true. good luck on the last days of your education lives. good luck more on the start of your real lives. don't ever forget me. hehe. :)

and to my high school friends who kinda will not yet graduate this march 2012, THANK YOU FOR ACCOMPANYING ME! hahahahahahaha! maybe 2013 is your year. or maybe, we'll graduate together on 2014. so don't worry much. you still have me as your company. >:)

to my arki friends, oh you still have one year too. hahahahaha! i'll congratulate you on 2013. for now, keep up the good work. more power! hihihi. :)

to mommy, papa, arvin, THANK YOU. i've never been so happy like, uhm, i mean, i do not ask so much for you know, material things. though i would like to have new things. hahaha. i mean that's already normal, but then, i just pray for simplicity, happiness and contentment in our family. nothing can beat that. and of course, LOVE. thank you for filling our house, and all our lives with it. let's just CHILL, okay? :)

to GOD, oh THANK YOU. 2011 was full of tears yet i was able to smile and laugh and squeeze all the crazy stuffs i did just to forget even for a while the stresses that were trying to disturb me. THANK YOU for the strength, the courage, the knowledge, the wisdom and of course, the energy to wake up everyday and to the things i have to do. hmm. 2012 again! i need more of those. hehe. by next week, i will face again school and all its branches. help me do them. help me accomplish them. i hope when i'll open my sis account this march, i'll see 75 and above grades. :)

i'll end this speech with a line from the movie REMEMBER ME. yeah i know it stars robert pattinson and i presume some of you don't like him but nevermind. hehe. he's a very good actor and this movie has a very good story. amazing one! i recommend all of you to watch this. (endorse much? haha.) naaaaaaah. it's just that, i watched it a while ago on star movies and it very much inspired me. what a way to end my 2011. :)

Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. Because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says you're nowhere near ready, but the other half says: make her (him, it) yours forever.

---Tyler Keats Hawkins 

TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

HOLD ON TO THIS LULLABY EVEN WHEN THE MUSIC'S GONE

BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ

HEY I THOUGHT YOU'D CALL ME BUT GUESS WE'RE JUST OUT OF COURAGE

paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!! ano ba! ewan ko ba! nung sabi mong tatawag ka, kinabahan ako pero mas nangibabaw yung pakiramdam na "SANA TATAWAG KA."

I PROMISED YOU TO MAKE ONE SO HERE IT GOES

this will be the start of long titled blog entries! bwahahaha! K. do i sound like an evil witch laughing? no right? hahahaha! so i'll stop with that thing already. i am no evil so i don't know how to laugh evilly. hehe.

this post is for a long lost friend slash classmate slash boyfie. CHOS! hahahaha! he's not my boyfriend or what. but i do consider him a special person in my life, a very special part of my high school life. without him, high school would not be that much fun i think. you know, something would be missing. most of all, third year prom would not be perfect if i haven't met him. (chos chos again! hahaha!)

we had a series of text sessions last month, november, yeah. until december actually. but it just stopped recently. i became busy studying for my exams. i think he got busy too in his exams and duties. :) during those text thingy sessions, he mentioned about blogs, and he asked me if i do blogging, and that if i could blog about him. WOAH. hahahaha! i was shocked but then i just laughed bout it. i said sure but i'll do it on december since i had so much school stuffs to do back then. and now it's december, so here's my promise, PAK. :)

PAK, as what we call each other (it's a shorter form of PAKNER. it rooted from the word PARTNER. i just don't know where the term PAK came from. can't remember i think. haha!), was my classmate in 3rd year high school. YES i admit i had a crush on him then. why? because he's chinito! hahahaha! you know me. i melt whenever there is a chinito boy in front of me. haha! yeah yeah. we became groupmates and the rest was history. chos! hahahaha! naaaaah. there are these things (with him, about him) that made a mark in me that i can't forget. never. ever.

he was the first boy that i had the courage to ask if he could be my prom partner. 

he was the first boy that i held his hand, his right hand specifically in public.

he was the first boy that i spent whole night and dawn just texting. the reason of my late night sleeps.

he was the first boy that i had this NICKNAME CALLING thingy. we first called each other, TITO and TITA before PAKNER and PAK came.

he was the first boy that i kissed on the cheek.

he was the first boy that i felt i was loved back and i think i loved him too. i think? yeah. ey no. i really loved him. really? did i? hahahaha! i don't know. i'm not sure. all i know is that i enjoy everything with him, because of him, and about him. i was happy doing things knowing that i have a TITO, a PAKNER on the sidelines supporting me.

but those were all in the past. i mean, we were like 14 or 15 years old back then. so young. everything changes. but you know, these things will forever live in me. they belong to those that i will treasure and cherish forever.

PAK! oh ha! as i promised! i made a blog about you. sorry it's too emote emote. hahaha! well you can ignore the emote things. i bet you don't remember those that i mentioned above anymore. hahaha! it's okay. what matters most is that, we remain pakners until now. and we will remain pakners forever! hahahahahaha!

PS

i still have the winnie the pooh stuff toy you gave me last 3rd year christmas party. i hung it on my bedroom wall so that i can see it everyday. :)

COMMENTS!

want to hear comments/suggestions/reactions from you! all of you! drop some shoutouts!

LET'S TALK! :)

YUNG FEELING NA (THAT FEELING WHEN)

yung feeling na gusto mong ma in love ulit.
that feeling when you want to fall in love again.

ang saya kasi eh.
it's so happy.

nakaka-inspire!
it inspires you!

but yeah, whatever happens, happens.
pero, kung ano man ang mangyayari, mangyayari.

i'll let destiny decide.
bahala na ang tadhana.

*smile*

SEPTEMBER

this is one tough month for me. so many things are happening. most of them are problems, worries. though they say that you won't have problems if you don't worry them but i can't help it. this is really one tough month for me.

until now, we are still not yet done with our power supply project. oh yes the schematic is there but the transistors, it's nowhere to be found. or if there is available, it's not available here in the philippines. i don't know. honestly, i am tired of probleming it already. so it's like what's on my mind now is, whatever happens, happens. but i still find ways though. i really am. it's just that i can't help but worry that we only have 3 weeks left before the deadline. :'(

you know what, mom asked me just moments ago, "are you still happy with your course? because if not, you can still shift. you still have a long future. you are still young. you can still do many things. you can take psychology if you want. then you can be a teacher, or a doctor, or a human resource personnel."

everytime mom tells me these kind of statements, i can't help but form tears on my eyes. i don't know. maybe i'm just sad because i can't make my mom proud. you know, i already shifted course. i don't want to fail her again. i don't know. i really don't know. my mind is very pre occupied nowadays.

plus plus plus. oh my, i am failing in my circuits and electronics subjects. plus i still have a vector to cope with. am i gonna die? i do not know again.

actually i have one very big thought in my mind right now. but it's getting late and if i start to write about it, i think i will sleep past 3 am already. hahaha! but i can't do that now. i need to rest to recharge my body for another tiring, very tiring, very very tiring and exhausting week coming up. i'll write bout it some time soon. i will really write bout it. i will not let the time pass without unleashing my thoughts bout it. it's a life lesson. for me. for you. for him. for us. for them. for everyone.

Lord, take me to where You want me to be. Lead me to the path where You think I should belong.

i love you mom.

i love you pa.

i love you bin.

YIELD POINT

gikapoy na ko.
pagod na ako.
i am tired already.

HEY (SO YEAH)

hey. i saw you today. you're still, uhm, handsome. we were about to cross paths. i planned to say hi. but you detoured. so yeah. i guess that's the punctuation mark. i wish you were there with me though. i wish we had the chance to talk. but yeah, yeah.


what happened this day? it is IT. the thing that i can finally say, no more you, no more thought about you, no more fantasies about you, no more dreams about you, no more expectations about you. NO MORE YOU.


we're done. forever done. what happened between you and me is now just a mere memory.


so yeah. i'm single as of the moment. single in mind and heart. no attachments. no commitments. no any something. looking forward? i do not know. just letting things happen the way they want to happen.


LET IT BE.


goodbye LOVES of my life. goodbye. it was nice creating good memories with you.

HEY.

do you want some daily conversations? advices perhaps? or just, if you feel like talking to someone but you don't have anyone to talk with? just comment here. i'll try to answer your questions and read your stories as much as i can. :)

07/29/2010

Hi Dinelle/Dinz/Wormy,

This is the first time I write you a letter and maybe it would also be the last depending on your decision. I usually write a letter when it comes to a situation like this. Usually when it comes to talking in person, I always say "Okay lang uyy..." then smile but deep inside myself I'm really not ok. Kapoy na mag english. Haha.. Basta hindi ko kaya sabihin in person kung ano talaga nararamdaman ko kaya dinadaan ko na lang sa pagsulat.

Pangit akong handwriting noh? Haha. pasensya na rin kung sa yellow paper ko lang gilagay, ngayon ko lang kasi naisipan na sulatan kita ng letter kasi gusto ko sabihin lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sayo. Okay let's start.

Hmmmm... Kamusta ka naman? Sad ka pa rin ba? Anu ba pwede kong gawin para mapasaya kita? Gagawin ko talaga ang lahat pata mapasaya lamang kita. Ayaw ko kasi makita ka na malungkot eh. Tsk3x. Smile ka naman jan. =p Hahaha..

Anyways, about nung Wednesday, alam mo naman ata kung ano talaga nararamdaman ko eh. Sa totoo lang nasaktan talaga ako eh, ito siguro reason kung bakit mahirapan ako maghinga nung Wed. But I ask myself, bakit ba ako masaktan? May karapatan ba ako sayo? I'm really sorry kung selfish ako. Wala naman akong rights eh, hindi naman kita girlfriend kaya wala akong karapatan.

I know someday you will really choose between the two of us. I'm a man of my words, I won't give up on you, I will still wait for you and definitely I will fight for you. But if you choose "Him", then I will step aside, I will let you go if that will really make you very happy. I'm still waiting for your decision. Kaya siguro ang lalim ng ginaisip mo ngayon maybe because you are choosing between both of us.

I really don't know what to do right now. Tsk3x. Siguro nalabas ko na lahat ng saloobin ko. Hintayin ko na lang kung ano magin decision mo. I will take the risk/s kung ano man maging decision mo. I'm really sorry wormy and thank you for everything.

Kevin Jake

*INSERT TITLE HERE*

it has been a/an *insert adjective here* third week of school.

wanna know what happened?

• vector analysis assignment
• material science quiz
• electronics quiz
• differential equations exam

plus the forever first sem 8 to 8 class schedule. maybe you will all say that the above mentioned things are just "easy". but it's not. what they said was really true. third year is very stress. very bombarded with all the major major subjects. aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you know that feeling when you just want to scream and shout out so loud all the stress that you have in your body and brain!? the heavy feelings you have inside?! that is what i want to do now. problem is, i don't have my voice back yet. still suffering from sore throat.

and for the tshirt design, i wanna say sorry if the statement turned out to be "hilas". we never intended it to be like that. when we thought about doing it, we were just thinking of fun and enjoyment. you know. we just give it a shot to pass that design. you know, as they say, there is no harm in trying. and that, opportunity comes once so grab it when it comes to you. yeah. we just wanted to join the tshirt design contest. if our design wins, it's a celebration. if not, then it's okay. we'll join again next year. the contest has just a very simple rule. if you like the design, vote for it. if not, vote another one. we did not have any control anymore of the voters. lastly, if they wanna change it, wanna have new designs, it's okay with us. what's important is the shirt that wins is the one that everybody loves to wear anytime anywhere. i hope that clears our side. let's not make divisions. let's be one. after all, CEA is a family. we should be. :)

in two days, another *insert adjective here* week will start. yeah yeah.

A BLOG POST TO GOD 4

Dear God,

Sorry if we can't go again to mass this week. Three Sundays I think already that we weren't able to go to church. But I know You are there listening to us. As much as I can, I speak to you in any time, in any place. Even though I am alone speaking to You, I think that could be considered already a church, OUR CHURCH together. We are having a conversation one on one. :)

Thank You God for the love. I feel so much love from You, from my mom, my dad, my brother, and nothing can simply ever replace it. Nothing can beat it.

Thank You for guiding me for the past 8 days of school. Thank You for being with me all the time, in every classroom I go into, in every lesson I hear, in every teacher I meet, in every classmate I talk to, in every assignment I do, in every meeting or commitment I go. Third year is not easy. It is not a joke. We are so bombarded with major subjects plus our schedule is not so friendly too. But still I survive each day. And I cannot do it without You. Thank You so much. :)

God, You know what I feel right now. Everyday I am fighting the temptation of my bed because I know I have to study or scan my notes first. Everyday I am urging myself to wake up immediately so that I won't be late. Everyday I am orienting myself to keep calm and not panic over the requirements that our teachers give us. Everyday, I am balancing my schedule because I still can't catch up with the 30 minutes lunch, activity period breaks, and 8pm dismissal time. Sometimes, I wanna give up already. I admit that. But whenever I see my laptop's wallpaper, whenever I see my phone's wallpaper, I am reminded that I should continue what I am doing. Don't give up. Fight the negative energies. Never think of having a detour again. Make the pathway straight. Little by little, slowly, one step at a time, I know I can finish this. I WILL FINISH THIS.

Help me God. Give me the strength, the courage, the wisdom, the knowledge, the energy I need to continue my journey and surpass all the humps I'll take ahead. I know this is just part of the training for me to become a MORE better person.

Thank You God. I think this is life at its best. Simplicity. Nothing beats the pleasure and comfort of sleeping at night without any worries at all. Calm. Peace of mind. Happiness.

I LOVE YOU! Amen. :')))))

EASY A

i just wanna share this. i know it's already somehow a movie shown last year but, this movie contributed to my best night this summer when i watched it again. and that is, tonight! :)

ENJOY! :)

A BLOG POST TO GOD 3

Dear God,

Hello there! Sorry God if I can't go to church this week. That's why I am writing you again this blog post. It's my way to thank you for all the things that happened to my life this week and for the past weeks.

• For the hair overhaul (Hahaha! I like this term so much.)
• For the dinner at Chika-an last Sunday
• For the many many foods like ice cream, fruit salad, chocolates, siomai, carrot juice, etc.
• For the enrollment (Thanks that it went well and that I was able to enroll really. It's a tough time for our family today financially. I want to go to school and finish ECE. I really want to. (Please let me.))
• For the love and happiness I feel, love from my parents and happiness in my surroundings

THANK YOU FOR THESE ALL!

And as school year 2011-2012 starts on Wednesday, help me as I take a new revolution again in my school life. It's a new year, new subjects, new challenges. Help me surpass it all. Help me not to have failing grades. I don't want to fail. I want to pass. I don't want to have that pink form and be in the probationary status. Help me make my parents proud. I am not doing this for them only, this is also for You and for myself. Be with me always. Amen. :)

ANG DAKILA KONG SEATMATE

Hindi siya pankaraniwan

In short, abnormal kung minsan

Di madaling maintindihan

Kaya laging naiiwanan

Pero pag lubos ng makilala

Ibang saya ang hatid niya

Super funny jokes daw ang dala

Sa kakornihan ka na lang natatawa

Minsan kami’y kumakanta

Pagduduet ang aming naging halimbawa

Kahit sintunado ay patuloy pa rin

Di mapigilan kahit ano mang gawin

Magaling din siya sa paghihilot

The best sa pag pindot pindot

One of a kind ang power niyang ito

Na wala sinuman kahit si Super Inggo

Siya ang tinutulugan ko pag ako’y inaantok

Ang boring naman kasi ng lesson ni Sir Bok

Minsan kami’y parang mga batang naglalaro

Kahit seniors na ay power rangers kung tumodo

Ulirang photo editor namin

Hilig din niya ang subject na cooking

Nangongopya sa akin [??]

At super emo pagdating sa damdamin

Siya ang dakilang seatmate ko

Two years kaming partner sa panloloko

Si Rupunepel! Wala ng iba pa!

Mapabupuhapay kapa! Hapahapa haphapa!

this is a poem i made for my ever beloved seatmate for 2 years. i call him rupu. he calls me dipi. yeah he's a boy. many said that we should just end up together. but still, NO WAY HIGHWAY. i just don't feel IT. hahaha! though i really love him as my bestfriend, my boy bestfriend. we share everything together. and when i say everything, i mean everything. >:) yeah. i just miss him lately. you know, all the childish things we do. maybe soon, we can do power rangers stuff again. :]

OH SORRY, the poem is done in filipino. you  can translate it anyway using google translate or whatever translator online. :]

UNFINISHED BUSINESSES

i have MANY MANY MANY poems that aren't finish until now. some are two liners, some one stanza, some two stanzas, bottomline, they are all unfinished. hahaha! i know i know, i should finish them. but you know, writer's block. maybe one day, someday, i'll finish them. i just need some inspiration. :)

-----------------------------------------------

It was destiny’s celebration when we met

The stars changed the orbit of our planets

It was like the most perfect time of our existence

Never thought it would be a one of a kind experience

My heart started to pump more blood

I was standing like a human lightning rod

You brought thunder and electrified my whole body

You made it shiver so enthusiastically

----------------------------------------------------------------

Those memories we‘ve shared will last forever

It is already drafted on my life’s tracing paper

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, we met again 3 days ago

--------------------------------------------------------------

there you go. this is my way to you know, expose them. at least even though they are all unfinished, they can still have the exposure they deserve. :]

THEN AND NOW

It was 8 years ago when I first had a crush on you
I was only 5 when my sky turned into blue
You made me open my heart for you
Even though at that time I am still 7 minus 2


I was only a kid when I first saw your face
I was sitting on a chair feeling out of place
I never thought we'd be classmates on that year
Cause it was only my first day, still shy and with fear


Years had passed, we were separated apart
You and I went to someone's heart
I have my own, you have yours too
But still I finish seeing myself in you


Now I'm here, the chance is in me
I have said it to in front of everybody
But I don't know if you took it seriously
What's important is, I have faced the reality


So if someone will ask you about my feelings
You know already the answer to that thing
I know you're not numb to feel it in me
And I know you're a friend who can understand me


To a person I call JB. That day when I shouted inside our classroom in front of our classmates that I have a crush on you, I meant it. It's just so sad you lost the bookmark I gave to you. Meant it or not, bottomline is you lost it. That just means, let's forget about it. Let's forget about everything. :)

BETTER THAT WE BREAK

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word it should say

Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right
Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break, baby 




RELAX. this is just a song by maroon 5. no more, no less. or should i say, no less, but i think there's more than just this being a song. :]

MARKerz

this is something i made 3 years ago. this is supposedly put on our yearbook in high school as our class prophecy. but oh well, we decided to take out the prophecy and had a page of  photos collaged instead. you know, a picture paints a thousand words as the song goes. since it wasn't published, i decided to publish it here instead. at least my efforts would not be put to waste. at least this composition will have its deserved exposure. :)

“Saint Mark is not a first section class. It is a community. But it is not a community if there is no common goal and unity.” –BSN

“You are the one to be blamed for this!”

“No! You are!”

“You are!”

“No! You!”

WAAAAAH!!! Saint Mark is that you??

Do you still remember these lines? Oh yeah. The most unforgettable speech choir it is! The event that made us screamed “YES!! WE MADE IT!” It was our long waited success. But do you know the story behind it? Does everybody know what we went through before we got our triumph? I am sure not all of you know it. So let me have this pleasure to tell it to you.

IL SATIRA CHUPETA ANGEL CONDENSADA

Ehem ehem!! Introducing… Saint Mark!! (mga dakilang anak ni Brady S. Nave a.k.a Regine Velasquez!)  Whooooo yeah!! We know it was tough handling fifty-one students. (halata naman eh!) But we were so blessed to have him as our adviser—optimistic, understanding and so patient.

Being a resident of St. Mark does not mean convenience. (mahirap talaga pag nasa first section ka) it is not as easy as what you think. We are like superman! (oh yeah! up, up and away!) We have this big red cape on our back but in front of us is a kryptonite that we always try to hide. Why I said so? Let us just say that the pressure is in us. (pressure daw! physics!) We are expected to be the models of our batch and eventually, the whole high school department. It is much a herculean task. (iiddiioommss!!) Everybody is looking at us. One false move and we are definitely out.

It is somehow true. I think we were the most controversial class ever. (hmmm.. let me remember..)  Wide gaps from different teachers arose. (boogsh! splat! wapak!) Many commented that we were the noisiest class among all the sections in the fourth year. (blah blah blah blah) They are saying that whenever they come in our classroom, it is like they enter into a whole new dimension. (planet yekok!) There even came to a point (I think!) that we were the talk of the town. That whenever someone will ask “What section are you?” and we answer “St. Mark”, they answer back “Oh, I see.” You know! Things like that! We were even sent to the guidance office for counseling!! (I’m talking as in all of us!) What a record breaking event isn’t it? (pwede na pang guinness) The dirtiest classroom, the super reactive students—these are all what they say. It is like a pirated CD playing over and over again. Oh well, we got used to it. (bumibili kasi ng pirated eh!)

Here comes this moment. (this is it!) Just one hour. Sixty minutes of nothing but mouthful of words from our adviser. (nag ULTIMATE STRESS na si sir breydi! oh no! physics again!?) Oh my... Everybody just got into their seats. Nobody even dared to talk or just stand up. Do you want to read some of his famous lines? (yung pang best actor..) Here it goes…

1. Kuyaw na kayo mo ba. Dako lagi inyong utok pero inyong heart pagamay ng pagamay!
2. Naa pud uban estudyante diri, NR lang kayo. Walay pake-alam sa mga panghitabo.
3. Mas maayo pa noh na mag adviser ko ug bottom 20 pero ang ugali top 20 man pud.
4. Sa sobraan ug trabaho, ang pamatasan di na maayo! (wow! pangmakata!)
5. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. (nosebleed…)

See! Who would not be moved with those lines! But above all, the bottom line there is… CHANGE. We need to change—an immediate change for the betterment of ourselves. Change our actions. Change our attitudes. That’s what Sir Breydi wants us to do. (and most of the teachers too!) In short, St. Mark needs a “renovation”. (sosyal! parang bahay!)

(pero di pa rin kami nadala!) We all went to the chapel and had a holistic way of solving our fight against ourselves. We all prayed for the change that it may be granted to us soon.

Yeah. We needed it badly. We were so down those times—planning to do something but cannot do it anyway. Many said that the cheering was a disappointment as well as the paskuhan. We were so hurt, you know. Where is our unity by the way? What do we know with the term “bonding”? Sometimes, we ask “Is St. Mark a failure?” But I keep on saying “NO!” I believe in our capabilities. I know we can do it. I know that all of us are trying to be good in whatever way we can. It is just that sometimes, we are not understood. We are always expected to be on top. We are expected to be with flying colors. But the reality speaks that, we are not robots. We are just mere humans. Even the best fall down sometimes. (uii. kanta yan!) We are these people, who are, one way or another, treated differently but, we, ourselves, try to reach out to others so that we will not be aliens of this world.

So we talked. We all agreed. (tarungon namo ang speech choir! last na jud ni! pag mapalpak pa ni, failure na jud ta! diri na namo mapatunayan tanan! mamugas jud ta! St. Mark gahut!)

But it was not easy. (supeeer!) I thought we all had one objective already, but, we still had feuds along the process. (at yun ang pinakamalaki! world war 3! clash of ideas! super duper misunderstanding! lumabas na lahat ng mga salitang ugat! gusto niyo sample? ehem! “oh ba! pagahiay ta ninyo. tan awun nto knsa mas gahi.” “f**k y**!” nitubag pud. f**k y** too!” haha! hah kau! tawanan nlng ntn. according pa nga kai marj. past is past. haha!)

BLAME! That was the main content of our piece. Now who’s to be blamed for this chaos? “Blame, blame, blame! Is there no end to this blaming game?” (igo kaayo mi sa among sariling speech) For almost a week we did not had a proper practice. Even our performance on our classes was disturbed. (matamlay masyado kami. nadala ng emosyon.) I remember we did not participate on two subjects the day after we had our open forum. (hmmm. anong mga subject kaya yun? RESPITO. haha!) We even had problems still days before our presentation. (grabe! pahirapan na jud ni..)

Tentenenentenen!! It was our presentation day already. Preparations here, last minute instructions there, taranta everywhere!! But that was so cool. IL SATIRA DI NOSTRO PALESE EVOLUZIONE!! The Satire of Our Seeming Evolution. (satire?? huh?? unsa na?? nosebleed) We performed our piece with the unity in our hearts and the MARK in our minds that we are the MARKERZ. We are all one! And know what, in the end, we won! We won the battle against ourselves! We have proven that we can make it and that we are not a failure! We have realized that we just have to be in harmony and everything else will be done in peace. Most of all, we have changed, and we can succeed no matter what.

This is us. This is who we are. This is St. Mark—the MARKERZ. Definitely, we were able to MARK a MARK in your lives. (hala sige! sabta!) We marked something—a memory that will never fade away in this school.

St. Mark heto tayo!!

Walang limutan!!

Stand up and say…

“I am proud to be a MARKER!!”

“I marked something in your world!”

“The change may not take overnight but it’s the start. So, what are we waiting for? What now?”

-pag sure ui!!

 NOW PLAYING...

…[tahong ni breydi ay este! Tahong ni Karla]

…[soulja boy chipmunks version—naay nasuya ani. haha. peace.]

…[low – ang pambansang awit natin]

Oh How I Love LOVE

Oh how I love LOVE so much

It makes me feel your warmest touch

It makes me smile for no reason at all

Even physics can’t calculate my heart’s free fall

Oh how I love LOVE superbly

It spells the words “you and me”

It may give some people a sad destiny

But for us, we are definitely meant to be

Oh how I love LOVE from head to toe

We could certainly match Juliet and Romeo

I could be your queen and you’ll be my king

Together we’ll create the kingdom we’re dreaming

Oh how I love LOVE because of you

How I love the way you say I LOVE YOU

How I’m blessed that K met D

How I wish you could really wait for me

this is a poem i made last july 25, 2010. i remember, i was making this one while studying for my physics exam the day after, or i should say, i stopped studying physics because i got bored and did this. :] that explains why there is sort of a physics aspect at the first stanza of this poem. :]

this is a poem i made for kevin (jake). that explains why there is the letter K there. and D, it's my initial obviously. :] well, what brought this up? uhm, tomorrow, may 13, is his birthday. so yeah. it's kinda a gift. i don't know if we'll see each other tomorrow. that's impossible for sure. so i'll just have this post my gift to him. i hope he reads this. hahahahaha! i really don't know. i think it will be a one in a million chance for him to read this. oh well, i'll leave it up to him. i'll greet him however tomorrow, through text and fb i think. i hope i can still memorize his number. hahaha! i did not save his number ever since. he knows it anyway. well oh well, so much for this rant. :]

happy candle cakes day jake. jakey. kevin jake. keviny jakey. jakeyoo. bird (birdy). hope you have a good one. you're popping out in my mind lately but i guess that's just normal, don't you? nevermind it anyway. :]

ISKOLAR

the title is the filipino translation of the english word, scholar. and i think you know already what that word means.

all my life i have been a scholar since the day i started learning how to hold a pencil and write my name on a piece of paper. not until i transfered school and studied in ateneo, that was the time i got no hold of any scholarships anymore. i know, i worked hard during my high school days for me to have a good record because i really planned to apply for any scholarship. but the thing was that, i wanted to study architecture back then. and i really want to study in ateneo. but they have no scholarship grants for nursing and architecture students. i don't know why. but it's their policy so let's respect it. when i graduated, i received 3 scholarship grants from 3 different schools namely davao doctor's college, siliman university in dumaguete, and university of mindanao. i even passed the university of the philippines college admission test which makes me eligible to enroll in that prestigious school. BUT... davao doctor's college only offer medical courses. siliman university has no architecture program and it's in dumaguete --- in the island of visayas! far away from davao. university of the philippines is also far away from the city proper. that means i have to spend added fare or spend money for a dormitory. in that case, i thought to myself that it's like paying tuition fees again. i tried to apply for other institutions that grants scholarship like SM but they offered no architecture. so i was left with my only option, grab university of mindanao's scholarship offer.

yeah. basically i studied there. dad was even sort of happy because it's his alma mater. to my surprise, i got a full scholar even though i should just get 50 or 75 percent. i don't know how they made the calculations. i just followed the rules. but i think this is like. people change. people's minds change. i can't take it architecture anymore because i realized, i'm a slow drafter. i'm a moody designer. i can't draw under pressure. i mean i can, but my designs will go abstract. you know what i mean when i say abstract. yeah. that was it. so i told my mom that i wanted to shift. it was a long battle. a very long one. dad was not so in favor of it at first but thank God he agreed later on. i told him i want to study engineering and i want to study in ateneo. LONG BATTLE as i said. blah blah blah. i don't want to put it in details anymore. i think you have had enough of it already.

uhm yeah. to make the story short, i don't know now. my dad is working abroad but their company is in danger of laying off workers again. i don't want him to lose his job. i don't want to stop going to school.

i know i should not say this but let me say this. it's bad to hide feelings right?

if only i had chosen engineering in the first place, i still would have been a scholar until now...

ROYAL WEDDING FEVER

THIS!

i just witnessed the wedding of the century. the royal wedding as they say. that day when a prince marries a commoner. SO LIKE A FAIRY TALE! so cinderella!

i wanna have a royal wedding of my own. but to do that, i should have my own prince first. where could he be now? :)

this is one of my dreams. not literally a grand and luxurious wedding, but that "fairy tale" kind of feeling wedding. where i'll marry my prince charming, THE ONE who may not be royal, but the one who will be LOYAL to me. :)

congratulations to the duke and duchess of cambridge, william and catherine! i wish you happy marriage and may you have many lovely kids. :)

FRIENDSTER BLOG (5)

i want to get back my SMILE

(Aug. 12, 2009)

okeii. another post. uhm. ive been into blog posting lately. it seems that i post more these days than before. oh well. just got so many thoughts in my mind. they are exploding. hahaha.

.how do i start.!? i dont know exactly. its still the same. the thoughts of being scared. scared of the future.! hahaha. thats how pathetic i am right now. stupidity.!? oh call it whatever you want. i think its really that. hahaha.

.okeii. here’s the thing. woah. college just seems to not love me. huhuhu. does IT hate me.!? hahaha. i dont know. i want to love college. im working hard to do all my responsibilities. but still. i feel there’s lacking. im very EMPTY. i need to be FULL. but i dont know what or who could fill up the emptiness.

.i want to get back my SMILE.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the longest time. i havent “smiled” my super duper happiest smile. i think the last time i smiled happily was.. was.. uhm.. march 14 2008.!? hahaha. you know. that “smile” where there are no worries at the backest part of your mind and you just feel that you have all the time in the world. oh yeah. i really think so. almost 18 months ago. woah. hahaha. [and if you're wondering what happened there. ask me. i'll answer you. :))]

.see. can you imagine it.!? for more than a year or less. im just. just. just so inconsistent. i laugh. i smile. but i cant really say im happy. after the laughter. after the smiles. im back again to my stupidity. being a JERK. hahaha.

.i know you are also confused with the things i wrote here. yeah. its very complicated. and i want to know the solution very soon. so that i can have that march 14 2008 smile again.

.i hope soooooooo. i want to be HAPPY again. :))

in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story

its a wonder love can make the world go round

but dont let it bring you down and turn your face into a frown

you’ll get along with a little prayer and a song :))

FRIENDSTER BLOG (4)

MY "NEW" BATTLE

(June 10, 2009)

okay. here i go now. i think 4 days to go its school already. new life it is indeed. everybody knows that i “shifted”. from archi to ece.  i transferred school also. from um to addu. it was a very big decision–very hard to make. i have been through a lot before i ended up with what i have today. the process was very heart aching. i can almost see my brain exploding from thinking about what should i really do.

i’m enrolled already. i am now a certified ece student at addu. but. here comes the “but”. I’M MISSING MY ARKI BUDDIES. and i mean all of them. from my classmates to our higher year friends.  i have been with them for 1 year. i spent my arki life with them. together we have made so much memories. they even helped me during those very down times in my lilfe. let’s just say. i became attached to them UNNOTICINGLY. oh yeah. that’s really it. that sometimes i think to myself. “did i make the right choice?” “what if i’ll go back to archi and be with them again?” oh yeah. i know. stupid questions you may  say. but i can’t blame myself.  i am weak. so weak. i wnt to make me strong. but how? i reall don’t know how to.

BRITTLE–that’s the very best word that fits me today. you know. i have made all the decisions already. been through the battle. but look at me now! with just one word? i’m already “MOVED”?! oh no. even i myself. i don’t know what to do with me already. i shouldn’t lose focus. but yet. i don’t know! sometimes i hate myself because of it. it’s just that. i really don’t know how to make me strong. i wanna be. i really want to be strong! to be focused!. but. arrgghh.

.maybe i just can’t let go. oh yes i admit i have the difficulty in letting go. in accepting things. oh super it’s really hard for me. i don’t know. maybe i just treasure memories too much that i can’t let go of the people whom i shared those memories with. i think. i really think so. even before. that was my problem already. but now. i wanna change it. i wanna learn the science of letting go and in accepting things the way it is happening.  i really hope so i could learn this as soon as possible.

i know. i’m here already. i mean. i should continue the battle which i have started. i should not easily break down because like what grey’s anatomy said “the moment you surrender you forget exactly the reason why you’re fighting” ouch. it really strucked me. that’s why i should not give up anymore. i have to win this. and eventually bring home the bacon which i so long to have.

it won’t be easy adjusting again. but i just hope that people around me will help me. may i have the sense of belongingness, the family, the buddies, the motivation, the eagerness to go to school, the determination, the focus, the contentment, and most specially, the happiness that i need to win this battle. i know it’s gonna be tough. but if i have all these, at least i have the strength to continue and surpass the battle. and i will always remember the very reason why i’m fighting.

i miss you all guys. my arki buddies. but i know we should not worry because this is just a part of life and that many battles even bigger as this wait us when we graduate and face life’s real reality. don’t worry. we can still bond with each other. remember. it’s not the quantity of time, rather it is the quality on how you spend it.

to my ever dearest KUYA. i’m sorry if i my grip in archi wasn’t so strong that i failed to tighten it. i’m sorry for asking you so much questions and doubts over and over again. honestly, i’m afraid. i’m afraid that i’ll lose this battle. that what if i made the wrong decision. you know it KUYA. but i’m trying to be strong already. i am building up myself again erasing all these doubts and replace it with encouragements. that i know YOU have plans for me. that these all happened because you want me to learn. that i know someday i’ll have a “place” on this earth. that i will become succesful in this field i chose. they will be proud of me. and most specially. I WILL BE PROUD OF MYSELF.  i hope YOU understand my situation right now. i hope YOU won’t stop loving me ang guiding  me to the right path. don’t ever leave me KUYA. with YOU by my side i know i can do this.  just help me through it. and i hope i’ll be fine. i will be strong. i have to be! I LOVE YOU KUYA. 

FRIENDSTER BLOG (3)

LATELY

(May 19, 2009)

.lately. ive bin out of updates. my diary is very stagnant already. i havent written there since last 2 months i think. oh yeh. but im fortunate i have my planner. it is sort of a shortened diary. the everyday happenings of my life are there.  =D

.lately. i really wanna go somewhere else. yah knw. spend my vacation to the fullest. ive never been out of town for vacation purposes. it has always been here–in the four corners of our house. i wanna go somewhere. somewhere where i could experience life’s diversity. where i could be free. where i could learn on my own. where i could discover new ideas. where i could meet new faces and together we’ll all share our lives to each other. where i could make my DREAMS come true. and where i could be totally HAPPY. IF ONLY MY PARENTS WOULD ALLOW ME TO AND GIVE THEIR TRUST AND SUPPORT TO ME. [kblu nmu unsa. unta madaun njd ni. unta sugtan ku.]

.lately. my heart is wandering. very much wandering. i feel a cut inside so i think it’s hurt. but i dnt want to talk bout it further. it will just create confusions and controversies. let’s put a stop to all of these. START A NEW LIFE. =D

.lately. ive been missing the people who became a big impact in my life. you all knw who you are. if you get this. leave a msg. pls. =D ive been missing you all so badly. yeh. soooo baaaaad. =D

.lately. I WANT TO FIX MY LIFE AND GIVE ITS DIRECTION BACK. for whatever it is. i hope you will all be still there for me. the love care trust support and understanding.

.lately. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. =D

FRIENDSTER BLOG (2)

.my 2008 spits.

(Dec. 31, 2008)

.2008 has just ended. a new year has just made its grand entrance–2009. so let me have this chance to count all the blessings i received last year and say thank you to all who have added color to my colorless but now colorful life. =D

.my whole high school gang. the gorettianz OLPHianz pedrositohz and MARKerz. i just graduate this year. so all the memories we had are still fresh in my mind. i still cant get over with you guys. thank you. naingn na ni nku sa spits nku tng grad. haha.

.MARKerz. yaeh. we had a LOT. laughters. tears. fights. screams. shouts. FU’s. putas. yawas. libaks. name it. haha. the teachers that we had hurt. we made them CRY. yaeh. but through it all. we have conquered the fight between ouserleves. we reconciled. we succeeded. what a way to end our high school life. i miss you guys. nimnimnimnimnimnim. haha.

.CLiMsterz. for the one of a kind BROTHERHOOD. tankuu. we are not just a group. we are brothers. the CLiMsterzHOOD. wag kalimutan.

.the high school faculty. and i mean ALL. haha. i wont mention you each anymore. i did it already last grad. haha. again tankuu. for molding me into the shape i am right now. mkamingaw mu.

.MarJiDiChel. still the blood runs in us. haha. thank you. such true friends. wlai limtanai jud. haha.

.joinerz both 04 and 07. though some things are really just not meant to be. still we shared many memories. and i treasure them til now. mag reunion na lgi ta ba. haha.

.LDR 789. asa nmn tawun mu.? paramdam pud. haha. .

TRIPOD. ups downs rights lefts. haha. like what i said. whatever happens. we will forever be the three legs who will make a BANG in the history. sa 2009 npud.!! haha. ilabu pigs. =D

.suners. oh apil mu dri uii. haha. tankuu for the constant presence. the time. especially when i need immediate help. 911.!! haha. sa susunod na akui mag emu ult. haha. emutera kau ta tnan.

.balot cd hoppy jnc. ehem. haha. tanku first to dash for letting us all meet together. then thank you all. for the new friendship that we founded last year. i enjoyed it so much. hoping for more moments together this year. =D

.CO2. my college buddies. what a way to start the new phase in my life. tankuu much for the friendship. the bond. for being there always. for helping me adjust to a very new environment. sa lht ng poblema. shift2. lablyp. MV’s. grado. mkalagot na platos. wlai tulog na adlaw. blik2 nlng na. ayaw tawun mu pagsawa. dghan pa kau na krng 2009. kita2 ra ghpn. kuto.!! ARKI US.!!

.garapols. haha. slamat lmang sa wlang sawang pag alalay smin mga co2. haha. naa pai 4 yrs. mag uban ghpn ta ninu.

.arki us. e3a. h4g. ug kng asa pta na rum ibalhin sunod. tankuu. sa mga wlang humpay na tawanan kht nkaabang na ang plates. kht wla ng mga tulog. wlang ligo. lht2 na. haha. ktawa ghpn. ngpa ila lng na pasmo na. haha. humana mu sa vistech.?? haha.

.THE ARCHITECTS. to all the new faces i met last year. mga higher years.!! kau lht. you know who you are. thank you for being such an inspiration to us–the newbiis. haha. tankuu for the help. for accepting us to the family. for not letting us feel that we are different. most especially for DESIGNING the best house for us to live in the new place we just entered.

.the arki faculty. its just my first year. i admit im having the difficulty adapting to my new environment. tanku for the patience and for seeing the potential in me. slowly i will develop and improve. just help me through it. one day you will be proud of me. [hope so. =D]

.to my special someone. [kng knsa man maigu. =D] tankuu for letting me feel this rush of blood. we shared moments together. all of them made me happy. painted a very big smile on my face. i’ll never forget all of those. yeah. more time i think. and i hope when that time comes. it would be “IT”. hope for more moments together. ily [??] =D

.KUYA. thank you. many trials. and i know many are yet to come. but no matter what. as long as i have you. i will fight it. [hnai2 lng pud gmai ha. =D] I LOVE YOU.

FRIENDSTER BLOG (1)

since friendster has announced already that it is going to go a major reformat thingy, i decided to save some of my blog posts there from total oblivion and put it here in my blogspot site, my forever blog. oh yes you read it right. i have a friendster blog. i made it way back in 2005, that time when friendster was still on the top, you know. :) so, let's start? get ready for many "dramatic" and "jejemon" posts here. hahaha! no i am not really jejemon with those upper and lower case style letters. it's just that i change the spelling of my words and i put a lot of dots. it's like designing your text. yeah yeah. it's very trendy years ago, when we were still high school. i know you can relate to that too. DON'T DENY IT. >:)

ang "GUGMA" nga naman..

(Feb. 04, 2006)

"love is when u sacrifice ur own happiness"

thats true!!! take it from me… mas masarap ang feeling… though masasaktan ka at mahirap talaga… pero in the end… masasabi mo talaga sa sarili mo… "tnx.. buti na lang at naisip kong gawin un.."   ",

skul tym... agen...

(May 21, 2006)

june 5.. ang araw ng unang pasok namin.. haay.. new faces.. new teachers.. new problems.. and most specially.. new memories..

kta tau lht!! june 5 is d day!! =)

bye... ryjae wiean...

(June 10, 2006)

maybe u dnt knw diz peepz.. but i just want to say bye to them.. im gona start a new ‘life’ and try to find another one.. but also.. i want to say tinkyoe to them.. to ‘ry’.. coz he left me here.. to ‘jae’.. coz he taught me how to be ‘numb’.. =)

an eerie CONFUSION...

(July 29, 2006)

hey peepz.. im CONFUSED.. a frienship confusion.. gnito kc yan.. im torn between my two close friend groupz.. oakey man cla.. i love them all.. but itz just dat.. minsan na mimiz-interpret ako.. im tryin to be a good friend to everyone.. but still some can’t see it.. i dnt knw kng may ’selos’ effect ba dito.. but wla  namang dapat pagselosan kht cno sa knla!! halos umiiyak na nga ako everyday.. everynight bfore i go to sleep.. kc di ko kya mwala ni isa sa knla!!.. and i dnt wnt any frenship to break!!.. tapos di ko pa ma share sa mga kaibigan ko ang problem ko ngaun kc nahihiya ako at natatakot.. di ko alam saan magsisimula at anong dpat sabihin.. isa pa.. halos lahat ng cloze frenz ko damay dito.. di ko alam kng cno ang lalapitan ko.. alam kong andyan naman cla palagi for me.. but nahihiya lng tlaga ako.. can u help me??!.. hirap na hirap na tlaga ako ..ano dapat ang  gawin ko.. pra maayos ito.. and saan dapat ako lulugar.. di ko na talaga kya.. apektado na ang studies ko.. i can’t think that  much.. wla ako sa isip ko ngaun.. di normal.. wla sa sarili..  my life is INCOMPLETE.. =’(

*here's a comment from this post. one i treasure most too. :)*

…confused?

That’s weird, coming from you..

Since I’m not there, I can’t give you any decent/sound advice…

But I CAN tell you something that I learned here in PISAY:

“Sometimes it is good to share your problems with somebody you don’t know very well.”

Talk it over with someone, and hope it’ll work out.

It usually does. ^^

Say hi to everyone for meeee!!

~NeoNix (a.k.a. Yoni if you forgot. xD)

P.S. I’m so… ENGLISH! 

just a love story...

(Sept. 04, 2006)

meet aellard.. a famous pianist in their school.. she plays for all their school programs and best part.. she’s d one who composes the songs for their musicale.. a sweet young girl who just lives her life simply.. =) meet stanford.. a well known guy bcoz he’s very intelligent.. in short.. beauty.. body.. brains.. and VALUES!! very humble and so handsome.. d dreamboy of everyone.. when this two ‘bumps’.. what wud posibly hapen???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. aellard and stanford are clamates since junior high.. aellard started to like stanford when they reached senior high.. aellard is a famous pianist.. stanford is popular too.. many girls liked stanford.. but aellard just ignorned it.. she said that its only a crush and derz nothin to wori about.. but aellard didnt expct.. SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH STANFORD!!!.. it just simply come out.. a feeling that came without a warning.. she began to stare almost everytime to stanford.. every detail about him.. aellard wants to know.. she became so in love with stanford.. but the most painful part.. even aellard does everything.. stanford doesnt seem to notice her.. he is numb.. a certified numb.. aellard ofentimes ask herserlf y she fell for a numb guy.. after a long while of thinking.. she decided to stop her feelings for stanford.. she decided to FORGET stanford for her feelingz for him is already useless.. she loves stanford but stanford has no feelings for her.. oouucchh!!.. so dat was it.. she started to forget that numb guy.. but here comes now.. last year of high school.. when everybody is already excitd for college.. aellard and stanford are still clasmates.. but the very100 painful and sorowful and ouch thing.. aellard’s love for stanford seems to go back!! now that she already forgot stanford and everythin bout him!!.. and now that.. stanford has already his ‘LOVE’……………………………………………………………………….. so now i’ll leave this to all of you.. wat can you say.. wat must aellard do?!!.. forget stanford again??!!.. or just let her love for that numb guy to grow.. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

my whole self...

(Dec. 26, 2011)

ive been si busy lately wid skul.. but now.. its vacation so i must enjoy it.. well im bit of enjoying it.. tankz to rosie dunne and her very "awakening" story.. tankz also to mae for leting me borow it.. oh gazh.. rosie dunne’s life is like ma life.. from the very first trace of ma first love up to ma second lov den up to now.. ma latest crush!!!!!!!!!!! not ma 3rd love u kmw!!!!!!!!!!! oh wel.. so much for dat.. wat makes ma xmaz really really sad.. diz xmaz is d first time i lose a "bunch" of frenz.. =’( really sad and very hurtful.. i dnt knw why it hapened.. how it hapened.. maybe i just became so numb dat i dnt feel and see dem dat tym.. itz very weird.. but i blame myself.. i dnt knw if itz ryt.. but smehow.. i have a big big part why we separate ways.. we had our xmaz party.. but it doesnt feel dat much hapi lyk last year.. it really takes tym to "accept".. but i really mmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzz dem already.. lyk wat dey said.. we can nvr turn bak d tym.. wer frenz stil.. but d closeness isnt der anymore.. a bond has been broken.. and it takes maybe a hundred tymz bfor i can fix it to myself.. im a bit broken.. =( but as wat dey say.. wen one door closes another one openz.. and i found it ryt..

hapi bdai to me!!!

(Jan. 19, 2007)

hapi bdai to me!! also to ma erz yang!! 15 na kmi!! tiguwang na!! and now.. we are on the last chapter of the first phase of our lives.. 14 was good. how bout 15?! well.. lets just see.. for diz post.. just wana tank all the eeps hu rememberd ma bdai.

-joiners.. erz-dash-yabee-jipi-ibz-siop..

-marj-jinks-shi..

-princes hrz ministri.. fren ni gian[emomate]-monique[bum]-bodigard ni janel[vasai]-sooperdooper frens[jinei and jazel]-mahal na reyna[michelle]-royal sekretari[gehgeh]-prince troy[troi].. prince gian[gianino]..

-pedrositohz.. winson-dwayne-chan2-kamz-rupunepel-roxan-mice-jan9-haz-elton-bart-ugli-aldrin-trix-saiah-reg-ernest-ej-ieffer-vi ann-emui-peynz-pai-moises-jed-dilmar-malandi-jisun-patrik..

-teachers.. mam zeni-sir dandi-sir heki-mam sayas..

-mga gitkrushers!! jL-patui-jonathan-jay..

-ldr 789.. yen-lyks-lissy??!!.. =)

-and mani more!! beibi-jei-bhez-ryan-vina-ug sa tnan2 pa!!

-ma famili.. -pa-me-bin-te dimz-ta clara-yaya-nanai..

tanku sa inu lhat!!!!! sa memori.. sa gep.. sa griting.. labon na sa slipover.. =)

sa uulitin!! –>

js prom!!!

(Feb. 10, 2007)

grbe.!! ang saya ng prom.!! its a certified memori.!! sa laht ng nabagsakan ng lagacy awars. kongrats.!!! lalo na ke drin haz jip ibz jenki marj jisun at skn nrn.!! yaeh.!! marj di katuohan.!?? amazing.!! sa imu nami magpatudlo ug chem.!! ibz.!! ikaduha jud diay mag paso2 sa tunga.!?? walkin ensaiklopedia gud.!! jenki. kulot.??!! di na. straight nka krn.!! tanku su much joinerz_07 marjidichel at buong pedrositohz.!! insan tanku sa susi ng responsibilidad.!! tanku sa trust pti na sa pik frame.!! sa spich gudlak.!! mali to aku.!! pamiz. ipadaun nku ang ‘insan’ legacy. ke bien tanku ke nisugot ka aku imu prtner. tanku sa pik taking. ke paklui tanku sa whte rose at sa pag gabay skn habang sumasayaw. tanku jb sa pik taking. tanku geh sa sayaw at pik taking. tanku sa lht ng nag kongrats skn. tanku sa laht ng ngbgai skn ng rose. tanku most gianino. sa sayaw sa pag eskort and for the nyt. tanku sa inu lahat.!!! hangober kau ku.!! PROM IS A CERTIFIED MEMORY.!! sa uulitin.!! LIVE ON SENIORS!!! GOOD LUCK JUNIORS!!!

.im a criminal.

(March 21, 2007)

.yaeh i am.

.i killed 7 peez.

.without my full consent.

.i just killed them.

.with no knowledge at all.

.now i cant turn bak tym.

.theyre alredi gone in my life.

.now im incomplete.

.im trying to figure out y dis is all hapenin.

.but i just cant.

.the most painful part.

.im all alone fighting and facing dis very hurtful poblem.

.i cant sai it to anyone.

.i smyl to show im ok.

.but every nyt after eviwan is asleep.

.i cry at the corner of our livin rum.

.now wat.

.wat wil i do.

.its stil not done.

.im torned again.

.i dnt want to hurt peez inemur.

.SORRY.

.i wil carry this sin forever.

.dat smhow in my life.

.i killed 7 peez.

.7 great peez who i love much much.

.SORRY.

.it bothers me until now.

.help me take away those thoughts that go round and round in my mind.

.SORRY.

*another comment for this post. :)*

dnt wory….. soon it will be forgotten… (^_^) pero may punishment yan… hehehehe…
maybe i cnt help bt i will try to help you to take away those thoughts….. (^_^)
yun kaya gawain ko, ang tulungan kayo basta malungkot… remember my name..

-Butterfly_Armor-

.tanku. suri. but never gudbye.

(March 12, 2007)

.saglit lng to.

.just want to sai tanku and suri to this peez.

marj jinks shi yang jip dash yabee chop ibz lyks yen lissy gian jay jb paklui troi bum jen mich bahao vasai harfi gehgeh mice kamz jan9 pril mui and eviwan dat completes marjidichel joiners liturgikal pasmo and pedrositohz 06 07.

.tanku for all the memoz.

.til we meet again.

.see you later.!! =) –>

.pedrositohz forever rock.!!

(March 20, 2007)

.anak aku ni dragon lady.!! at proud aku jan.!!

.gona mis u all peter’s injels.

.saya pa naman ng firwel ntn.

.di ta itom ha.

.we are taaan.!!

.wai limtanai.

.pamansin ghpn pag purtyr nta.!!

.TANKU MUCH MUCH SA MEMOS INJELS.!!

.hanggang sa muli ntng pagkikita.

.be proud.!!

.at ngng anak ka ni dragon lady.!!

.so long farewell.

.pedrositohz 06-07 rock on.!!

=)

.4thyr nku.!!

(June 10, 2007)

.uh yaeh. super senior na aku beauti. hala gudlak kanaku. =D gudlak sa akng pagiging emcee sa first ever day of class but the last jun13 of my hs lyf. getch.!? =D

*comment again. :)*

Heehee. Good luck gyud! 2nd week na naku……

-NeoNix

EINEL

(Aug 17, 2007)

.seven na nga tawag skn ng iba. tnuod njud ni. =D lab ku gehgeh ku. marami ang na state of shock. at marami pa cguro ang papunta sa stij na iyan. =D i understand. many knws. many also do not. sa mga nakaka alam. salamat sa understanding. sa di pa. maintndhan nu sana. sa mga nakakahalata. tama inu hinala.!! =D bsta. eto na. others may say its kind of too late. pro hindi. RIGHT TIME LNG PO. =D

BDAI KU NA!! =D

(Jan. 17, 2008)

bdai ku na peepz. sweet 16 mku. pro un nga lng. meju so not hapi. bfor dat. tanku nlng rin at 90 aku sa comp kht palpak ang exam. ookee ang el fili namn. may CLIMSTERZ na. =D bsta. masaya gud kng pipiliin mng mgng msaya. =D pro kht anng pilit. naa ghpn ang walang hiyang luha na gusto mutulo. family? meju. studies? naa gmay. friends.? dnt knw. love.? NR. ewan. ambot. I HATE IT!! it sucks. super. manhid na tanga na torpe na talawan. ewan. =D sabta nlng ninu ang nag yawyaw. =D cge. i just hope for a veri veri hapi bdai. =D memo sna =D it will be. i will be hapi. =D

.siyete.

(Feb. 25, 2008)

.we are "back". but not yet literally. u knw.!! =D tanks to cupid. intawun. namugas jud sya ug maau. =D

THE END [bow]

(April 12, 2008)

.tapos nrn ang hs. start of somethin new na nga daw. colej here we come na. pro di pa aku ganun kahanda. der are still doubts. maraming humaharang sa kurso ku. kya minsan napapa isip din aku. pro gusto ku eh. un nlng ang nagiging motivation ku. kay guys. i need support. =D it will be new sa colej as iin all new. ewan ku how to start. at di ku pa alam panu mag adjust. =D pro kakayanin. !! huhu. =D at isa pa pla. 16. wer over. its over. ewan ku kng ha. minsan nalulungkot aku. pro pag naiisip ku ang mga pangyayari. tinatawanan ku nlng. kc nga dba. go on with life. pti pud cguro kmu mkatawa. kataw i lng. lets all laf.!! gusto ku man sumuntok ng tao ngaun. mangulata. unya nlng. save the best for last. =D or. palag pasin nlng ntn. wla naman tong magagawang mbuti. cge na. tama nto. bsta un na. sa lht ng nkaka intindi. salamat. =D alam nu na un. tanku guys. katawa nlng ta. =D ang hirap pag wala kang maka usap. at mapagsabihan. =D

.i wana be in heben. haha.

(Nov. 20, 2008)

.i wana be in heben. haha. i just thought bout this. there are many ways u cu fil like ur in heben. and i think im experiencing it now. haha. biga.!! naaaaooh. its just dat. haha. he really is special to me. he is like the one who brightens up my day literali. every trace of him makes me smile. and it just feels so good to knw he’s der. he exist. we share somethin special.?? haha. ambot lamang. but knw wat. im really just thankful ive got to experience this. this electrifying feeling that makes causes a rush of blood. haha. im enjoying the moment. i hope. i wish. i pray. it will never end. haha. i wana be in heben. =D

.pwd magsulat.??

(Nov. 2, 2008)

.uhm. haha. ang tagal ku ring i nka blog. at di ku alam kng anung nakain ku kya aku nagtatagalog ngaun. haha. isa lng ang gusto kung sabihin. sa lahat ng mga wlang lakas ng loob. panahon na para magkaroon kau ng lakas ng loob. haha. wla sa una ang pagsisisi. lgi itng nasa huli. kya mag isip2. hindi sa lahat ng bagay ay may dalwang pagkakataon. yeah.!! =D

"all love stories are the same"

(Dec. 5, 2008)

.haaaiiiii. nothing has change. as what paolo coelho said. all love stories are the same. well. he’s right. i believe in him. i dnt knw bout ur opinions. its just that. what i see are all the same. its like a cycle. a history. that repeats itself.

.boys. be brave enough. its not that we keep u waiting. its just a matter of time. to PROVE yourself that u are definitely worth it. keep pushing. work hard. in a girl’s heart. there is already that spark. you just have to trigger it. so never lose hope and dnt ever say “ayoko na. wla man ghpn mahitabo”. thats a very invalid excuse. do whatever it takes.

always remember. girls love surprises. even little things. we appreciate it. if a girl gives u something. value it. keep it. dnt just throw it away. it makes our heart melt. value your girl. value the one you love. they only come once. never agen.

MOST OF ALL. be different. prove to us that all love stories are NOT the same. that your love story is unique. very one of a kind.

.are you the one who could break my perceptions.!?

.i hope so. =D

.my [not so feelin well] bdai thanks.

(Feb. 1, 2009)

.oh thank you thank you to all the peepz who greeted me on my bdai. its so touching to think that you all remembered  my day. especially to those unexpected peepz.  i knw its been almost 2wiks alredi since my bdai. but as wat they say. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. =D so here it is. my thank you’s.

.dash. yabee.

.marj. jenki. shishi.

.jipoi. debi. yang.

.anin. rupu. master. iber.

.bum. iprel. emuii.

.dora. nora. berna. tina.

.patuii. moises. joe2. haz.

.ralf. gehgeh. paklui. troy. jay.

.cd. hoppy. balot. jnc.

.lyka. toto.

.mami belen.

.jaed. hippo. ajos. nesto. jonjon.

.ian. ji ar. benben. e3a. h4n.

.momi. papa. arbin. nanay. yaya. ta clara.

.though my bdai wasnt that much happy. [i admit it.!] i stil thank you guys for letting me feel that i still have reasons to be hapi. =D THANK YOU. until nxt yr.!! i will still see yah then. =D

.but here comes the twist. the very reason why i feel so sad these days. the shifty thingy. i dnt knw wat to choose. there are many factors that clouding  up my mind. my thoughts are so super wandering. i dnt knw. i cant think well. i have to make up my mind so soon. but it seems that i cant. knw wat. ebri night my tears are always in the verge of falling. smtyms i control them not to fall. but there are just those many times that i cant control them. it makes me sick. it makes my heart so weak. i dnt have peace of mind lately. and even up to my dreams. they are bothering me. they are HAUNTING me. and its alarming me. i dnt knw wat to do. i dnt hav total hapines today. they are all just “temporaries”. now i have to decide. the problem is dat im not good at this. i always make mistakes. but i knw i have to. i have to make a very CRITICAL decision. and wateber happens here will surely affect my FUTURE. and i dnt want a bad future. nobody wnts it.

.so help. help me. my KUYA. help me. guide me throughout this discerning stage. im gettin weak. make me strong. i admit i cant take it anymore. but i knw i have to fight this because this is for me also. =’(

.and to all the peepz around me. my FRIENDS. my classmates. my teachers. and especially to my FAMILY. i am not a perfect person. we all knw dat. i commit mistakes. i stumble and fall. i knw i may give you disappoinments already because of this. but wat i just wish from all of you. is the SUPPORT and UNDERSTANDING. i nid much ur support. to help make me feel that im not alone. and wateber i decide. wateber road i choose. i hope you’ll understand why. =’(

.its not easy being in this situation today. i just hope that one day when i’ll wake up. i will feel good already. and ebritins gona be fine. I REALLY HOPE SO.

.my HEARTS day.

(Feb. 14, 2009)

.maraming nagsasabi na kpag single ka wla knang krapatan sa feb14. oo. dhl sbi nga nila for lovers only. pro iba na. sa panahon ngaun. single awareness day na ang feb14. mas marami na ang single kesa sa mga double. haha. pro kht anu pman yan. isa lng ang gustong iparating ng feb 14. na kht single kman o double. may karapatan taung lht mgng masaya. at higit sa lht magmahal. =D

.kya naman. ang saya ng feb14 ku. loveless man. nakuha ku prn tumawa at ngumiti sa araw na ito. super. ang saya. enjoy the moment. nag date aku kht wlang boypren. haha. mas masaya pa. ksama ku pamili ku at mga kaibigan ku. sa tingin ku nga mas masaya mag feb14 na single kesa double. haha. tik lng. bsta un na un. masaya aku ngaun. sa susunod ulit na feb14. =D

.ang sarap magmahal ulit. weee. =D

.hpi hearts day. mua mua. tsup slurp. I LOVE YOU =D

EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN

(April 21, 2009)

.unsa man. LOVE pku nimu.? or drama lng ni krn.? wla gud ku ksbot. wla ku kblu kng mutuo bku o dli. kng tnuod bna imng gna ingn o dli. kai murag lahi man imu gnpkita. or manhid lng cguro ku kau. wla pud ku kblu. naglibog lng jud ku. unta mag SURE nka sa kng unsa man jud imng gusto iingn sku. ingna lng. ayaw nku pangutan-a. diretsuha na. i need ANSWERS. not QUESTIONS.

isabella marie swan

getting crazy

(Sept. 3, 2007)

.getting crazy.? yes.!! things are getting crazier.!! i’m goin crazy.  :))

.life has been LIFE lately. after all the posts here. still i can’t answer my very deepest question. how will i ride life’s flow.? the river is getting crazier lately. i’m goin’ crazy. but somehow. i’m still grateful because i still have my own boat firm and strong though i’m not sure how to paddle it. i’ve tried many ways. i’m doing good but i think it’s just not enough. i think i still need to paddle more and exert more effort.? i think so. but…….. i think i’m tired. i’m tired as of now. i’m not saying i give up. NO. giving up is a no no. i don’t want to go back to “those” times again. it’s like i think i want to rest for the mean time. think. reflect. be with myself. but how.? i can’t. i’m loaded with responsibilities that i should do first. somehow. i want to think things over and be with just myself. when.? that’s the question.

"i want to fix my life and give its direction back."

.i think i have not yet done this. or if i have done it already. i think i’m still on the 20% mark. i still have to strive the 80% harder. harder. harder than it used to be. :))