STEVEN R. MCQUEEN

he replied to my tweet!!! hahaha! i know it's kinda babaw but i don't care. i felt happy and it made me smile. hahaha. oh alam ko ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko pero sige na, pagbigyan niyo na ako ngayon. minsan lang ako ganito. hahaha! i love you jeremy! i love you steven r. mcqueen! hahaha! naloka talaga ako ng todo. :))

jeremy rocks!

jeremy-bonnie rocks!

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES ROCKS!

ADJUSMENT STAGE (TAGLISH MODE)

nagpag-isipan kong magtatagalog ako sa bagong post na ito. wala lang. gusto ko lang maging makabayan ngayon. isang taon na rin mula noong gumamit ako ng wikang tagalog. alam ko. hindi ito ang wikang pambansa ng pilipinas. wikang filipino oo. pero parte pa rin naman ang tagalog sa wikang filipino. baka kasi mapagalitan pa ako ng guro ko sa asignaturang filipino. hahaha.

ano ba ang ikukwento ko ngayon dito? marami. unahin na natin ang unang tatlong araw ko sa bagong semestre na ito. isa lang ang masasabi ko, kapoy. hahaha! hindi naman sa seryosohang pagod ako, oo nakakapagod nga naman talaga, pero ganyan naman talaga ang buhay ng isang estudyante di ba? aral dito. aral doon. walang tulog dito. walang tulog doon. kayod ng kayod. haha. pahirapan na nga ito. lalo na at integral calculus na ako, physics 2 pa, at may schedule pang walang break tuwing martes at huwebes. oo nagpapasalamat na ako dahil wala akong klase sa gabi pero yun nga. baka makatulog ako sa panghapon ko na klase tuwing martes at huwebes dahil wala kaming break --- walang oras para makasaglit ng tulog. haha. medyo mataas-taas din ang break namin tuwing lunes, miyerkules at biyernes. oo masaya pero butas naman ang bulsa. haha. dahil nga break, walang magawa. kaya ang resulta, punta ng foodcourt at kumain. o kaya punta sa isang lugar at kumain pa rin. haha. butas na butas na talaga pati pitaka. pero ngayon lang siguro to. di pa kasi klaro ang mga klase. walang teacher. o kaya naman ang teacher ay ayaw pa magturo. sa bagay, estudyante nga may hang over pa sa sembreak, teacher pa kaya? haha.

pero sa pangkalahatan, nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa schedule ko. maganda na kumpara sa iba na ang laki ng mga vacant at may klase pa sa gabi. masasanay lang din ako nito. bago pa kasi. adjustment  stage pa kumbaga. masaya na rin. basta't may kasama ka tuwing vacant period mo at tuwing haggard ka na masyado dahil sa sobrang stress sa pag-aaral. salamat sa mga kaklase ko. salamat ece friends. ^_^

pero eto na ata ang pinaka-bonggang rebelasyon sa nakuha namin sa unang tatlong araw na ikalawang semestre. tenteneneeeeeeeeen!!! si ma'am ferraren ang guro namin sa integral calculus!!! hahahahaha! ang isa sa mga pinakatatakutang guro sa buong ea division. hindi sa nangangain siya ng estudyante, mahirap lang talaga siya magbigay ng exams. yung tipong piga talaga ang utak mo sa kakaisip ng sagot at sa pag-aalala kung tama ba ang mga sagot mo o hindi. hahaha! dalawang beses ko na siya naging guro. una sa college algebra. at ikalawa sa analytic geometry. at aaminin kong, kayod kalabaw talaga ako noong mga panahong iyon. haha! sa kanya lang ako nakaranas ng scores na 54%, 60%, final grade na 79 at unang bagsak sa isang prelim grade na iniyakan ko talaga, 72. hahaha! oo, mahirap kapag ma'am ferraren ka. pero natutunan ko noong under pa ako niya, hardwork lang talaga. pag ma'am ferraren ka, expected na talaga na extended hours of practice at kayod todo max. no calculators pa so double work talaga. so eto nga, hello ma'am ferraren kami lahat. hello kapoy. pero itchuki. sabi pa nga niya it's for us also. tama nga naman. this is for us to improve our analytical skills. ^_^ (nandyan na naman si analytical skills. hahaha!) kakayanin ko to! mag-aaral ako! papasa ako! :))

pansin ko lang, taglish na ata ako sa parteng ito ng post ko? hahaha! sige lang. patuloy.

ano pa ba ikukwento ko? ay eto. masaya lang. dahil sa wala pa masyadong klase, bonding kami mga classmates. masaya ako dahil mas lumawak na kami. pag lunch kasama na namin sila ron, nem, harl, teng, fishy, meg. minsan naman kasama namin si mary ann (my dear anak. haha.) at si kakay. see?! the more the merrier! ang saya! haha. lalo na at close close na rin kami mga boys. and i'm loving it. masaya din kasi pag marami ka friends na boys. at least you know what they feel. right ron? tama ba? hahaha! at si jong ay nag enroll na rin kanina so go galore! can't wait for a fun filled second sem again. pero yun nga. hindi rin dapat alisin sa mindset ko na kelangan kong mag-aral para pumasa. dahil duguan na nga ang mga subjects ngayon. go study go.  ^_^

at para sa huling talata na eto, oo nga, palagi na lang huli. di ko kasi alam kung ano ang una kong sasabihin --- kung paano ko sisimulan ang isang istorya na may topic na ganito. ang bobo ko pagdating sa mga ganitong kwento. oo. bobo. hahaha! wala na akong ibang maisip. basta ganun. mahirap.

oh eto na. (inhale exhale) cold stage --- isang instance sa buhay mo kung saan mararanasan mo kung may special someone ka o kahit di special someone, pwede rin kapamilya, kaibigan, o sa madaling salita, taong mahal mo. sa kaso ko, special somene ang para sa akin. ito ay yung tipong may pinagdadaanan kayo. oo, problema. hindi kayo okay. sa kaso namin (namin na talaga. sinali ko na siya. haha.) may problema nga. i mean, nabagsak siya sa integral calculus niya. nalito siya kung magshishift siya o hindi. hanggang sa nakadesisyon siya hindi na lang at manatili sa kasalukuyang kurso niya. alam ko mahirap. napagdaanan ko na rin kasi yan. mahirap ang lahat. panibagong buhay. adjustment stage na naman. maraming kelang i-adjust. studies, friends, family, environment, at siguro, ako na rin. parte ako ng buhay niya (siguro. haha.) kaya kasali ako sa kelangan i-adjust. too sad i think i am at his last priority (okay lang. tanggap ko rin. and i guess ganun naman talaga dapat.), kaya ako ang kelangan isakripisyo. sacrificial lamb kumbaga. (kawawang ako. haha.) ayun. napansin ko talaga on the latter part of the sembreak na cold na siya sa akin at para bang hindi siya "siya". wala sa sarili? ewan. wala siya sa usual self niya. noong una binabalewala ko lang. pero katagalan, nagtaka na talaga ako at para bang hindi na ito pangkaraniwan. halos ayaw ko pang aminin at sabihin. hanggang sa nakapag desisyon ako na sumulat ng isang letter at doon ilagay ang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. nagawa ko naman. (thank you LORD! na brave ko kadali. haha.) at ayun. confirmed. tama ang hinala ko na cold talaga siya. nagsorry siya and all. sinabi niya na may personal problems siyang pinagdadaanan ngayon at isa na dun yung about sa academics niya. ako naman, sinabi ko lang na sige okay. unahin mo muna yan. sinabi kong bibigyan ko muna siya ng time and space para makapag-isip at gawin ang mga dapat niyang gawin ukol sa stage na ito ng buhay niya. mahirap. pero kelangan. at kakayanin. hahuy hahuy. hanggang ngayon di pa kami okay. nagkikita nga sa school pero di naman nagpapansinan. nagpapansinan nga minsan pero hi at hello lang. konting ngiti. pero hindi talaga yung mga pasikat braces na ngiti. sa totoo lang, namimiss ko yung mga pasikat braces niya, yung mga gaya gaya puto maya moments niya sa akin. dumidila ako. gagayahin niya. didila din siya. susuntukin ko siya, sisigaw yan ng aray at sabay sabi ng please wag na. tama na. namimiss ko kapag pumupunta siya sa classroom namin para makita ako kahit sandali lang. mga sandaling kahit limang minuto lang ay masaya naman ako. aanhin ko ang isang araw kung di naman kami okay. siguro nga mas masaya yun. oo nga. mas masaya yung mga sandaling limang minuto lang pero alam namin okay kami, nagtatawanan. kahit non sense ang pinag-uusapan, tawa pa rin. pasikat na naman yung braces niya. didilaan ko na naman siya. gagayahin niya ako. susuntukin ko siya. WOAH. nakakamiss. kalungkot nga lang. noon yun. hindi ko na alam kung ano ngayon. adjustment stage. adjustment stage din ako. acceptance is the only key.

pero ang mas nakakamiss? si bird at si wormy. aaminin ko. i miss him calling me wormy. yung para siyang bata pag tinatawag niya ako ng wormy. at para din akong bata sumagot ng bird. wormy wormy wormy!!!!! --- isa sa mga text niyang di ko talaga binura dahil alam kong precious yun. tama nga. priceless possession sa ngayon. dahil di ko alam kung kelan ulit ako makakatanggap ng wormy wormy wormy na text message o kaya kelan ko ulit maririnig ang salitang wormy galing sa bibig niya. (kawawang wormy. kinain na siguro ng mga isda. haha.)

JAKE,

i don't know if you'll read this. i know you read my blog but i don't know if you've been reading it lately. i'll just leave it up to fate, to destiny, if you can read this or not. but if ever you do so, i just want you to know that, i'm here. i'm just here. if you need any help, or if you can't take some of life's hardest moments, i'm just a call slash text away. this is just one of life's test to you. like what i said just believe and trust in yourself. this will surely pass. i know it has been hard. it's hard for me too. it's hard for both of us i think. but i guess this is also for us, for us to have time for ourselves to reflect and fix all what's broken. i just hope you'll be back soon, that someday, i'll see your pasikat braces again. you'll call me wormy again. you'll text me aubrey again. i just hope. super hope. one day. we'll be back. i'm just here. you know where to find me. you're my greatest stalker. you know where i am even if i'm hiding. i miss my bird.

AUBREY

siguro nga, kung dati siya ang naghintay, siguro nga, siguro, ako naman ang dapat maghintay ngayon. sana lang di mapunta sa wala ang paghihintay ko.

"i was afraid this time would come

i wasn't prepared to face this kind of burden from within

i have learned to live my life beside you

maybe i'll just dream of you tonight

and if into my dreams you'd come and touch me once again

I'LL JUST KEEP ON DREAMING 'TILL MY HEARTACHES END"

--> naden, eeza, jolu, ron, nem --- thanks so much ktv mates! it helps. it really does help. sa uulitin. :)) salamat din sa mga okay lang yan dinz. i know funny pero hahaha! magstudy na lang ta ug integ! :))

-->koya xtian salamat din sa iyo. walang kapalit ang ating mga ym moments. alam ko marami pang darating na ym moments. sana di ka magsawa. wag mag-alala, gi-follow nata ni khim so PARTEY PARTEY! :))

-->salamat Lord sa pag gabay. so far nakakaya ko. at natututo ako. tulungan Niyo po ako. bagong semester na naman. panibagong mga pagsubok. please Lord, ayaw kong mabagsak. kaya to! study at hardwork lang. :))

:'((

NOVEMBER FIRST

first november post! actually, i really don't have any idea what to put here. i just want to use this time to post something for this month. november is my month of memories. i just hope that there are really many memories ahead waiting for me. i can't wait to fill my diary with such beautiful stories. :))

nov 3? school starts. so, less internet time. less blogspot. less posts. be back soon!

okay. I'LL SEE LIFE MORE BRIGHTLY! TAKE IT ON A POSITIVE NOTE! SMILE AND BE HAPPY! MAKE MORE WONDERFUL MEMORIES! LOVE LOVE LOVE! SECOND SEM, HERE WE GO. :))

REPETITION

ang saket. ang saket saket. sakeeeeeeeeet. saaaaaaaaaaakkkkkeeeeeeeeeeet.

it's ouch. it's so ouch. ouuuuucccchhhhh. oooooooooouuuuuuuccccchhhhhhhh.

saaaaaaaaaaa---keeeeeeeeeeeeet

ouuuuuuucchh---ccccchhhhhhyyy

saaaaaaakkkkkkeeeeeeeeeetttttt

ooooooouuuuuuuccccchhhhhhhhh

hoooooooooooooooooooooooo

hoooooooooooooooooooooooo

:'((

I JUST WANT TO BE...

i just want to share this photo. i made this that time when i was in the era of my shifting transition. this is for someone out there who seems to be bothered lately by a situation similar to mine before. just remember that life doesn’t end there. it may be hard today, but rest assured there’s a happier light waiting ahead for you.

THIS IS FOR ALL THE FAILED-AND-WANTS-TO-SHIFT, FAILED-BUT-STILL-WANTS-TO-STAY, NO-FAILURES-BUT-AREN’T-HAPPY, WANTS-TO-SHIFT-BUT-JUST-CAN’T STUDENTS. i know a lot of people who are experiencing this now. i hope they all get okay soon and that they'll find what they really want --- peace of mind, confidence, happiness.

let us all put our happiness on top of our priority list. :))

NINETY

these are my first sem grades. i don't know if you can read it but i hope it's clear enough. haha. and for that blank spots, my teacher gave me a 92. i wasn't able to take a picture of it anymore because i got hyped when i saw my final and official grades. haha. and when we computed for the wpa, the calculator displayed... 90. :D

THANK YOU LORD!!!
THANK YOU ALSO BECAUSE MY CLASSMATES PASSED!!!
:))

ANGELS OR DEVILS

since i can't post on tumblr and i don't know why, i decided to just post it here on blogger. and since i can't post the video. argh!!! i decided to just post the lyrics instead.

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall 
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us 
are we ever 
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down 
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time 
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see 

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us 
are we ever 
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around 
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one 
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold


nangyari na eto noon. wag naman sana ngayon.

THE NAME AUBREY

and here it is for aubrey! since dinelle is not common and i don't think i am that famous already to be in wikipedia. haha. what?! i'm a ruler of elves? how did this thing happen? haha. i really don't know. but i find my name's origin funny. enjoy reading again! :D

Of Teutonic origin, "Aubrey" means "Fair Ruler of the Little People", or "King of the Elves" ^[1]. The name Alberich is a more common Germanic variant, with the syllable 'Alb' translating as "Elf" and 'Ric' representing "power". In the twelfth century, a Christian saint and abbot named St. Aubrey founded the Cistercian Order, seeking to operate under the Rule of St. Benedict, continuing Benedict of Nursia's tradition of solitary scholarship in a community of monasticism. In some nations, he as known as the savior turtle.

The name is traditionally male, but is more commonly used as a feminine name in the United States. It was the 41st most popular namegiven to girls born in the United States in 2009.^[2] It was last ranked among the top 1,000 most common names for boys in the United States in 2002. It was the 479th most common name for all males in the United States in the 1990 census.^[3]

THE NAME KEVIN

hahaha! i know i'm bored so you don't have to tell me. just let me post this. i found this one on wikipedia. didn't know that kevin is a name originally from ireland! woah! so woah! what a very sosyal name. so here it is. the rest of the explanation of the name kevin.

Kevin, Irish Caoimhín (Old Irish Cóemgein, Middle Irish Caoimhghín), is a male first name of Irish origin. It is believed that Saint Kevin was the one who popularized the name, although Kevin is not a biblical name. Caoimhghín is believed to be derived from the Irish cóem "kind, honest, and handsome" and gein "birth".^[1] Kevin is unrelated to the names Kelvin or Calvin. "Kevin" is one of the top 100 male baby names in Canada, Catalonia (within Spain) Chile, France, Hungary, Ireland, the Netherlands, Northern Ireland, Norway, Slovenia, Spain (as a whole),Sweden and the United States.^[2] It can also be spelled Kevyn, Keven, Kevan, or Kévin.

The female version of Caoimhín (Kevin) is Caoimhe (anglicised as Kiva or Keva).

NEW THEME! NEW DIARY!

i just love my new theme. it's so winter. so christmas like. with a pinkish reddish color on the title. perfect! hahaha. everybody knows that i love christmas. i'm looking forward to it every year. alone or with someone, it doesn't matter. as long as it's christmas, i'll surely love it. i just love the ambiance, the feeling. though i would want to be with someone during this season. hahaha! poor me i spent it alone the last 3 or 4 years. but itchuki. i still manage to make the most out of it. woah! so much for that! go new theme! go winter! go snow! go pinkish reddish! go christmas! :D

and by the way, i have a new diary. i just bought it last saturday. i really miss writing so much. well don't worry, i will still post some stuffs here. but on that diary, i will write all the stuffs i can't post here. haha. writing is so much fun. thanks for making me realize it, vampire diaries. :D

YEAH --- my 7th diary's title. yeah. you read it right. SEVENTH. :D

BEST HOURS

okay let's get straight here. the best hours of my day are during 11pm to 1am or sometimes 2am or if lucky enough, 4am. why? because i just feel that i own the world those times. it's like i can do everything i want without anyone disturbing me. it's peaceful. it's harmonic. it's tranquil. i am at peace with myself.

now what's with these best hours? i share it with the special people in my life. or i should say, if i am with you during my best hour, it means you are special to me. i shared these best hours already with all the special people in my life. i mean, all those i considered special, we had our own best hours moment already. except for one. i think.

okay let's get straight again. kevin. kevin jake. there are so many times that i get excited because there is no class the next day and that means i can sleep late and kevin can sleep late too and we can have our best hours moment. but sigh oh sigh, he never responded to this best hours thingy. or if he did, i can't remember when was it anymore. or if we did have, i already remembered the latest time he slept was 12am. i told him about this best hours thing. he said sorry and that he's not used to sleeping very late at night. and i was like, okay. i understand. i won't force him anymore. but at the backest part of my brain?! "oh please jake. i really want to spend some of my best hours with you." i don't know. somebody please help me. i am getting paranoid here. hahaha.

now with the mindset. i just have to accept it. accept the fact that jake doesn't really sleep late at night. that we can't have best hours. or if we can have, it would be once in a blue moon? haha. i really think so. accept it. don't be so mean dinzlee. don't be selfish. jake has his life too. you don't own him. you don't control him. and it's bad. it's bad if you force him to do the things he doesn't want to. that's really being selfish. you are just experiencing some adjustments now. in time, you will get used to it.

i don't know why i am teary-eyed right now. i don't have any reason to cry. i guess.

thanks benben. you never fail to be my best hours buddy whenever i need someone to get crazy with. haha.

i know i'm used to being alone. i can handle loneliness. but not now. just, not now.

"thou shall not compare." always remember that dinzlee.

ENGLISH 21

1.BEST COMICAL ACTOR

2.BEST IMPERSONATOR

3.BEST EVENT MANAGER

4.BEST DIRECTOR

5.MOST ENTERTAINING GROUP

6.BEST DANCE CREW

7.BEST MUSIC INTERPRETATION

8.BEST COMICAL PLAY

9.BEST LIVE MTV

10.BEST IMPERSONATION

11.MOST UNITED CLASS

12.BEST OVERALL SHOW

THANK YOU LORD! :))

ECE! ME! BSA! MA!

PRINTSCREEN

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, “It’s because you’re gay, isn’t it?”

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, “you will die in Seven days…” (Note, if you don’t understand this, watch The Ring. Then watch The Ring 2. Then watch Ringu.)

FRIENDS: Help you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, “Walk much, dumb ass?”

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you’re okay when you’re crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, “Ha Ha, Loser!”

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, “Run, fucker, run!”

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, “That was awesome! Let’s do it again!”

or

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail again

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying “DAMN!” we messed up!
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried…just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, “My bad…here’s a tissue.”

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story…

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME.”

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you’ve had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say “Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don’t waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this :)


dash, yabee, this is for you! i miss you pigs! i miss you so muuuuuuch!!! :))

PWEDE MA SAD?

first day of october
this is my status in facebook
my twitter is full of sad words
there is one sad face on my tumblr
and now in blogspot?

I WANT TO CRY.
I WANT TO BURST INTO TEARS AND LET THESE WORRIES GO AWAY.