MY 2015 SPEECH

Lo and behold, I have not written any blog entry for this year. Haha. So this makes this post my one and only blog entry for 2015. Oh well, it's better than none at all! :)

Here I am again --- the feeling of I-do-not-know-how-to-start-my-annual-speech feeling. Hahaha! So how do I start this? How do I start this really?

So is this my third introductory paragraph? Seriously me seriously? Hahaha! Okay stop stop. Just seriously, stop. >:)

Well, 2015, well, it marked my first year of being finally out from school (like yey! no more exams, quizzes, projects; no more review, board exam, just no more school! yey!). But not literally. Haha! I found myself going back to school after becoming an engineer. This time, as a teacher. :)

I don't know if I have mentioned this on my 2014 speech but, I made a promise to God that if and when I would pass the board exam, I will do my share of service by teaching. And so I did. I find it fun. I find it happy. I found my happiness. It is with this happiness that I will surround my speech this year. I just felt oh so genuinely happy all throughout this year that I really feel so grateful to everyone who have helped me achieve it.

I would like to thank first my alma mater, Ateneo de Davao University, especially to the School of Engineering and Architecture for giving me the chance to teach. I was a fresh graduate. I just came from the arduous battle of the board exam. Yet you trusted me and gave me loads more than what a fresh graduate could ever think of. It even continued until summer, until first sem 2015-2016, until now, second sem 2015-2016! I even have my own space at the new faculty! Thank you oh so much! Thank you for the love! For the family! For the sense of belongingness! For the trust! Thank you!

Next, since I already thanked first Ateneo, why not continue it by thanking my fellow teachers! Yey! Thank you to all my colleagues in the faculty, from my former teachers up to my "age mates." Hahaha! Thank you for helping me with the basics and for inspiring me to do more than what you're tasked because really, being a teacher is not easy. I kind of underestimated before. But I'm learning. I'm adjusting. And I think I have cope with the system already. Thank you! :)

Third, I'd like to give a loud shout out of THANK YOU to my family! Mommy, Papa, Arvin as well as Nanay! Thank you for supporting me in what I wanted to do after the boards, in what I want to do now as I'm juggling teaching and reuniting with good 'ol friends (as well as making new ones), and in what I would want to do 3 - 6 months from now. I know you just want what's best for me but thank you for not really pressuring me that much into keeping up with the pack because you know that I am an alpha and that I could make my own pack eventually. Worry not, I know what I am doing. If ever I fail, let me be. Let me stand up on my own feet and let me learn from my mistakes. I know too that whatever I'll do, you'll all be there, loving, caring, and cheering me, and I thank you for those. Thank you most for letting me live MY life this 2015! For letting me do the things which I wasn't able to do when I was still studying! I think you have lived up to your promises? Hahaha! That when I'll get my diploma, I'll be more free in what I want to do. Go home late, overnight stays, travel with friends, experience the world, THE BEST! LIFE! THANK YOU!!! :)

Travel with friends? Achievement unlocked! Dash! Yabee! Dear TRIPOD beshies! 2015 was our rebirth year! Like literally, we baptized again our friendship! Meetings at least once a month, food trip, pig out, coffee, cakes, staycation, movie, anything under the sun! We were even crazier to book a flight to Manila and even MORE crazier to book a flight to Bacolod! Hahaha! Srsly. Our #TripodMNL and #TripodBCD trips are the highlight of my 2015! I had only imagined those travels with you when I was still a student but now, holy moly, surreal! It finally happened! Thank you thank you thank you! I have seen how cooperative we are, how UNDERSTANDING we are, and how caring we are of each other, never leaving someone behind! The trips made our bond stronger than ever! Again, thank you thank you thank you! Looking forward on our next #Tripod adventures! Will it be #TripodSG? Let us see. Hopefully. :)

Fifth? Is this the fifth? Yes. Haha. The Mighty 13 ECE Family Solid Forever - six engineers, four 3/4 engineers, and three exploring more life's great wonders. We are mostly separated now due to the career paths we are pursuing. It makes me sad somehow because there are times that I miss the things we used to do - both fun and stressful - from the ktv sessions up to the sleepless project nights. But it's the sweet kind of sad. Those are the memories we would keep and look back the next time we meet. I'm excited however on the new memories that we would create as we let ourselves grow individually, together with the new environment we have chosen. Again, as I said, graduating doesn't mean forgetting. We are still going to keep in touch. And we are still going to push an annual Christmas get together, no matter how small participants would come. Haha! Although, on 2024, the 10th year from which our batch graduated, we should be all complete, regardless of where we'd decide our get together be! Will it be already in Japan? Hahaha! Wherever we may go, let us always bring with us the ECE13! Never forget! :)

I would also like to thank all the students who had been under me since second semester 2014-2015, summer 2015, first semester 2015-2016, up to now, second semester 2015-2016! Even those students who were not under me but I met along the way (school hallways. haha!), THANK YOU! College Algebra, Advance Algebra, Trigonometry, Analytic Geometry, Advance Engineering Mathematics, Differential Calculus, Integral Calculus, Basic Electronics, Review Class, Robotics, Android, Principles of Communications, I can't believe I have taught a bunch of subjects now. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to lengthen my patience and to understand different types of personalities. Thank you for teaching me how to keep my temper and instead, convert that temper into the brightest smile I can possibly flash. Thank you also for keeping up with my shortcomings and understanding also that sometimes, teachy is not the best teachy in the whole universe. Hahaha! Mostly, thank you for teaching me life lessons. I have learned a lot from your perspectives. I have learned a lot from you just by being with you everyday. I hope you have also learned something, if not a lot, from me. Rest assured, Ma'am Dinz (Ma'am Aubs) will strive harder to be the best teachy that I can be (!) ; to bring you the best teaching service that you all deserve! My goal will always be that, I will be one of the reasons why you'll succeed. Ambitious, but I hope I will achieve that goal someday. :)

Allow me also to dedicate a part of this speech to a specific student whom I met last summer. That one student who was absent during our first meeting. That one student who did not show any bit of shyness when I told the class, "I have a beef and cheese rice meal here, Who wants to have it?", stood up, walked directly towards me, smiled, and got the meal box from my hands. That one student who always asks me what's the answer of the seatwork, but I don't tell him the answers really. Instead, I ask him what's his answer and 99.9% of the time, he's correct. That one student who were always present during exams until one day, he had to be absent. Elmer, wherever you are now, I hope you're happy. Thank you for being an inspiration to us, one way or another. Little you know, our Integral Calculus class last summer became actually close. I can see that even after we all separated ways, your classmates from CE, ChE, IE, ECE, EE, and ME, still actually say hi and hello to each other. Of course, I, myself, also still say hi and hello to them. Thank you Elmer. Be happy up there! :)

Kids! The kids of my life! Hahaha! Actually kids have been extended now. Well, the more the merrier granny would be. Hahaha! Thank you for putting a smile on granny's face all the time! No matter how kulit you are, I know that you love me and that is just your way of saying I love you to me. Well kids, I love you too! Hahaha! Study smart kids okay? Granny can't wait to see you wear a toga, walk to the stage, and receive your diplomas. Hihi.

SEA Women's Basketball 2015-2016!!! The road may be rocky and bumpy, and a big avalanche is on our way, but it's still a road! It's passable! So let's pass it together! We're engineers! Let's build a 4x4 off road car and use it to pass the rocky and bumpy and avalanche-y road! Hahaha! I know you can do it. I know we'll make it. Trust. Team effort. We can! We will!

Finally, to our Almighty Father, the Supreme Being, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE NOW AND FOR EVERY THING THAT I AM NOW. All that I have and all that I am now are from you really! Without you, I am nothing! Thank you for blessing me with all of these! I know, you know that I am not yet where I want myself to be, but at least I am far, very much farther from where I am yesterday. You know also that I am not sure yet of what I want to do really. I do not know what my future holds me. So again, I am praying to you, TAKE ME TO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO BE. LEAD ME TO THE PATH WHERE YOU THINK I SHOULD BELONG. I do not wish for grandiose material things. I only pray for genuine happiness, success, and contentment in life, dear God. Continue to guide me and my family also. Protect us always from any harm and danger. Keep us safe. Give us good health, and keep us away from any diseases. Again dear God, THANK YOU IN ALL LANGUAGES!

I'd like to end this speech with a quote from my great thesis partner, Meg.

"We don't have to be in the best position to make the best decision."

She said it's from a song. I searched it on Google and I was surprised with the results! I don't know if she meant really from this song and artist but yeah, I find it just so timely. So here you go, I'll end this speech part 2 with words from Justin Bieber's song, Purpose.

"We weren't necessarily put in the best position to make the best decisions."

Why timely? Because for the first time in forever, this 2015, I actually liked a whole Justin Bieber album. Haha! Am I now a Belieber? I don't know. Just that, I like his new album. And one of my favorite songs from it is actually, Purpose! And actually, the title of the album is Purpose itself! Okay so many actually's now. Hahaha!

To more decisions that I'll make this 2016! To more decisions that I'll make in the least imaginable positions or situations I can ever think! To putting purpose to everything I do! To finding life's purpose! To finding MY life's purpose! To giving purpose to others! To helping others realize their life's purpose! CHEERS! :D


PS

My real 2015 highlight? Getting braced! Hahahahaha!

PPS

Eeyore, for the second straight year,

Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
Somewhere down the road
I know the heart of yours will come to see
That you belong with me

MY 2014 SPEECH

Warning: This post has not undergone any proofreading. So please, bear with it. My apologies. :)


2014 has been one effin' freakin' fun roller coaster ride year for me!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Okay. What an introductory paragraph. Haha! But seriously, 2014 has been epic. It will always be that year where I can say, my life made a 360 degree turn while doing a 180 back flip. :D

Traditionally, my annual speech is about everything that had happened to me the said year. It is also about giving appreciation to everyone who has been with me during my 365-day journey. I won't change that tradition this year. There are just so many highlights in my life this year, and so many people made those highlights possible, that I can't afford to change the tradition just yet and miss thanking all of them! :)

Let's first start with my birthday --- the greatest birthday of them all (sounds like a title of a song. haha!), Yes yes yo! It was indeed the greatest --- the most unimaginable birthday I ever had. Why unimaginable? Well, It was never in my deepest thoughts that I imagine some birthday surprise shizz that would happen to me. Yeah it happens in films and movies, but those were films and movies! My life is neither a film nor a movie! But two young and brave kids did the unimaginable and made me oh so happy that day. Thank you Niknik and Faith for pulling off such an epic birthday surprise for me. From making my mom an apprentice to your plans, to fooling me about buying that Keds shoes for Fiona (which is not really for Fiona because it was for me), to acting like you two have boyfriends (thank you Yves and Juy), to pre-surprising me at Mcdo Bolton with matching white roses from Nik's CpE friends (best band aided white rose goes to Benjie!), to finally surprising on my birthday, one very early sunday morning rain is falling (very hard) day. You even had balloons and post-it notes posted all over our house, woke me up with Taylor Swift's 22 song playing oh so loud on a speaker beside my left ear (zzz. haha!) which really woke me up. When I woke up, I saw you all wearing party hats, one holding a sugar munch cake with lighted candles, one with a gift which contains the Keds shoes, and one with a bouquet of white roses. When I saw you, I repeatedly asked the question, "WHY ARE YOU HERE?! NGANONG NAA MO DIRI?!", because really, I can't believe someone could and would do that to me. It was a surprise indeed. I am more than surprised. Good thing it was a cold morning, or else, you would have seen the color of the panty I wore that day. Haha! Thank you also to Motie for being one of the surprise-rs and for helping Nik and Faith on their plans. :)

Then came February. Nothing much really. I remember I was just so busy finishing our thesis (and crying and planning what to do in case we won't make it and I won't graduate. haha!). Well, the only event that I can't ever forget that month was that mini rave party at AdDU Matina after the cheerdance event. Best times with the best people. :)

MARCH! OH SO MARCHY MARCH! Hihi. I FINALLY GRADUATED!!! YEEEEAAAAH!!! But before that, March 05, 2014 marked one of the happiest days of my life!!! Had our final thesis defense and WE MADE IT!!! LIKE YEEEAAAAH YEEEEEEEEY!!! I really thought we would be rejected or we would have a re-defense but no, we didn't. WE DID IT HORAY! Hahahaha! It was also timely that, that day was Ash Wednesday so I really made time to attend the last mass at school. I thanked God for our thesis deliberation results and I asked Him for quality time with family and friends before I finally graduate and before I would go to Cebu, because really, I will miss them all. And God didn't fail me. What happened after I heard mass was one of the happiest moments of my life. Abreeza. Bonchon. Ko-yo. Krispy Kreme. Emily Homes. Change wifi password. Dumanlas. Hillside. Thank you kids. Hihi. And oh, Faith had her debut last March 01 even though her birthday is not March 01. So it's still Marchy march. Haha. Never thought I'd still attend a debut during my final year in college, so, thank you for inviting me Faith. Sorry for our gift. That was just partial. The rest of the gift would be given 9 months after. Hahaha! Okay so I graduated. I finally saw my name on the final list of candidates for graduation. I even HOPED (very much) that I would graduate with Latin honors. But ep ep ep, my grades were 0.8 short of becoming a Cum Laude. Where is that one point when you badly needed it? Hahaha! It was a "sayang" moment. But it's okay. The graduation itself was a blessing already. I would finally get to hold a diploma and be a degree holder. It's like education life is finally over! Milestone baby milestone! Hahaha! That's more than enough. Yes I know, I really wanted to snatch another medal. I eagerly wanted to end college with a medal. I even prayed for it and told Jesus that "Lord, ihatag lang. Bahalag mao na ni ang last medal ever." But He didn't give it to me. So I think, I will still continue to grab more medals and add them to my collection (kung maka collection). Hahaha! Anyway, Papa came home days before my graduation. He accompanied me during my hooding ceremony and of course, he and mom on my graduation. I got a new laptop. I got 2 new pants and 2 new shirts. I got a new pair of sneakers. But I wasn't totally happy (not because i didn't had a medal. hahaha! srsly!). Why? Because it was all bittersweet. A week after graduation, I was scheduled to fly to Cebu, which means, I only had 7 freakin' days to squeeze everything I wanna do before I enter another revolution (yes. revolution. haha!) in my life. And since papa just came home, I decided to just dedicate all 7 days to my family. I told everyone, classmates, friends, boyfriends (which i don't have. hahaha!), that I would see them on October. I was glad that everyone understood and even sent me messages of congratulations. So okay I graduated! Yey! After 6 years in college, 1 year in Architecture and 5 years in Engineering, and a whole lot of drama in between, finally,

DINELLE AUBREY LEE AMPER

GRADUATE

BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING

April, May, June, July, August, September --- 6 long months in Ceeeeebuuuuuu!!! But that was fun. Haha. Really. Very very very fun. So where will I start? Ah yeah, I went Cebu because I have to review for my board exams. There is a review center in Davao but all of us except one opted to go to Cebu and enroll in Excel Review Center. At first, I planned on just staying in Davao but I changed my mind mainly because, I want to be far away from my comfort zone so that I can really concentrate in studying. And I made the right decision. Hihi. In Cebu, I have no internet connection. I don't have friends who are just one text away and poof, go to Ayala Cebu or SM Cebu. I have to budget my allowance wisely because I have no parents who can rescue me in times of money difficulties. Haha. I have no 24/7 access to TV. Most of all, the place is so neeeeeew to me! It was my first time to be far away from home! Imagine that, for 22 years, that was just my first time. Hahaha! So really, I had to adjust. I had to learn being with new people and being with all sorts of people. I had to learn how to be independent. And actually, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the newness of my environment --- new people, new city, new bedroom, new roomies, new food, new friends, new views, new scenery, new culture, new dialect, new routing, new malls, new jeepneys, new everything! I enjoyed discovering these new things! I felt I was living THE LIFE. I felt I was living MY LIFE. Hihi. I had quite a hard time though adjusting my body clocke. The world knows how much of an owl I am. Haha! I am really nocturnal and our review classes start at 8:30am! Hahahaha! Plus I have to eat breakfast still and no Mommy will cook or provide breakfast to me. Oh by the way, my dormitory is just located at the third floor of the building. Excel Review Center in Cebu has its own building. Offices and the canteen are located on the first floor, classrooms on the second floor, dormitory on the third and fourth floors, and a study area/gaming area on the roof deck. The canteen serves breakfast and lunch only. So every dinner, we go out and eat somewhere. Also, the bathrooms and comfort rooms are common. So yeah really, I had to wake up early to do my morning routine, eat brekky, take a bath and all shizz. Had a hard time at first but then I got used to it. Hihi. Another hard adjustment also was sleeping early and waking up early! Hahaha! Okay I think I mentioned this already but yes, I'm mentioning it again because it was really hard! Struggle! Hahahaha! I am used to sleeping 8 or more hours a day but in Cebu, it was trimmed down to 6-7 hours. Plus the new sleeping time was 12mn and wake up around 6am or 7am. It's not my usual body clock!!! But I had to and I did. Everyday, my alarm clock was my bestfriend and the thought of wanting to pass the board exams was my drive to really open my eyes and lift my body up to wake up. Hihi. I remember walking pass through the corridors and hallways with one closed eye because I am so sleepy still yet have to go down and eat breakfast at the canteen. Hihi. Best times. I was like in a military camp. I was following a strict schedule. Sleep, brekky, bath, class, lunch, nap (or sometimes no nap anymore), study, dinner, punas, study, then sleep again. The cycle goes on and on. There are breaks in between. And during these breaks, we go chismis or have crazy, wild, fun games with my roomies and dormates (both Ateneans and non Ateneans). That's one of the best parts, if not the best, of studying in Cebu. You got to be with other people and you got to build relationships with them. The fact that the 2014 ECE graduates from Ateneo came from two different batches, and the fact that the reviewees from Ateneo at Excel came from three different batches, it was indeed a blessing and a happy experience that  I got closer with them. Actually, WE ALL GOT CLOSER TO ONE ANOTHER. Our original batch was a minority. We were just 6. Most of them came from the original 2013 ECE batch. But, I/we (the original ECE 2014 batch) did not feel any out of place issues from them. Instead, they welcomed me, they welcomed us, and we all embraced each other, journeying hand in hand in our quest to become engineers. For that, I am very much thankful to all of them. There I felt that we truly are ONE ATENEO, ONE ECE, #TeamAdDU. More than the General Engineering and Applied Sciences formula that we need to memorize, the Electronics Systems concepts that we need to read, the Electronics topics that we need to squeeze in our brain, and the Mathematics equations that we need to practice, we shared what no review classes nor board exam can teach us --- that is, FAMILY-NESS. Hihi. Sorry for the term, but really, I have no word to describe it best than that. So be it is. FAMILY-NESS. Hihi. Roomies I love you!!! BEH-shies I love you!!! Chos char chu. Hahaha!

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my dormmates, review classmates, and all the new friends I found in Cebu --- the Ilonggos from TUP-V, Boholanos from HNU, fellow Davaoeños from UIC and HCDC, fellow Ateneans from AdZU, the bubbly girls from 3B, new found friends from USC, the 4th floor peeps, everyone in the dorm, and most of all, that one person from CPU. My stay in Cebu would never be so much fun and memorable if weren't for all of you guys. Thank you so much for the bonding, and all the crazy stuff we did. Such memories that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Special mention also that One Orange Residences acquaintance party at Tambuli Beach Resort! (with the continuation at the one orange residences roofdeck. what happened there, stays in there? haha!) That was one (or two? haha!) freakin' awesome day! Pink Alalat champions! Tigso champions! Ms. Gay Ambassadress winner is from AdDU! For his identity, you better ask the winner himself. Hahaha! So AdDUans (haha!), make sure next year you bag the top recognition again for whatever pageant that your batch will do. AdDU has bagged the top honors for 2 straight years now. Make it 3peat! Hihi.

The last month before our board exams were harder. I had to discipline myself to not make naps anymore. I had to sacrifice not going to Mario Maurer and Baifern Pimchanok's show at The Terraces, Ayala Cebu. There were no more kinect sessions and movie/series marathons. I got homesick, real homesick from time to time. What made me stronger and more courageous to finish each day was my phone's wallpaper. Hahaha! I personally made that to remind me each morning I turn off the alarm on my phone, and each time I look at my phone, that many people love me and supports me in my battle, and that those people who love me and support me more are those who are in my wallpaper. Hihihi. They were the ones who inspired me really to wake up, get up, and do what I had to do everyday. What I had in mind was the thought of "Konting tiis na lang Dinelle. Pag-uli nimo ug Davao, naa kay duha ka lisensya na kwa-on sa PRC, pwede na kaayo ka mag laag laag anytime, anywhere, kauban sila." When I got tired or felt like giving up or even when I felt homesick, I just looked at my phone's wallpaper and then everything went fine. That picture never failed to made me smile. There were also calls/texts/fb messages from long time friends which I received from time to time while I was in Cebu. For those friends, I thank you. You know who you are. Thank you for strengthening my whole being while I was away, studying for the bloody board exams. Hahaha!

I was also lucky to have visited the Miraculous Mama Mary of Simala, Basilica Minore del Sto. Niño de Cebu, Our Lady of Rule Parish (Birhen de Regla), San Pedro Calungsod Chapel, Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral, Sacred Heart of Cebu Parish, and Capitol Parish. Thank You all for the spiritual guidance ALL OF YOU have given me during my stay in Cebu. Thank You also to St. Jude and to St. Pius of Pietrelcina. :)

Thank you also to our forever favorites karinderyas/fast food chains/supermarkets/malls/hang-out places where we ate our dinners, bought our groceries, and spent our free days: Jarred's Eatery, Silogan ni Gian, Bradex Batchoy, Barbecue-han sa may Julie's Bakeshop, Barbecue-han nila Nice, Jerry's Fried Chicken, Siomai-yan sa may Jakosalem (best siomai ever!!!), Achievers, Night Market with Street Food at Colon Street, Jollibee sa may USC, Mr. Liempo, Abuhan (once only. when dean espina treated us, adduans. yey! thank you!) Gilligan's at Ayala, Mcdo and KFC deliveries, Colonade, Metro at Colon, Metro Gaisano, Ayala, SM Cebu, E-Mall, Park Mall, Colon Street, Songhits, Mango Avenue!!! Thank you too to the canned goods that saved our hungry stomachs everytime we got lazy going out of the dorm. Haha!

Then came the board exam days. It was 2 and a half days of struggle. Haha! I remember my heart beating so fast during the last minutes of my Math exam while I'm shading the remaining items. I never had that heart beating before! It was more than my heartbeat during playing a basketball game or any strenuous activity! My heart was literally coming out of my chest! Good thing I didn't faint or anything though. Hihi. I remember also that my only sure answers for my Electronics exam were 17! Freakin' 17! I slept for 30 minutes (i think? haha!) after having one round of reading all the questions because really, I have nothing to answer anymore! Hahaha! Then I went back to answering again and all the time, I had in mind was "Lord, ikaw na bahala ani. Please guide my hand to shading the right letters." For day 2, GEAS and EST, same thing happened. Haha! Answer, sleep, shade again, with the prayer in my mind. Hihi. The last day was a half day Electronics Technician exam. I answered one round, slept again (haha!), then finished it around 10am. Most of us finished it in just 30 minutes. Then after that, everything else was "Ikaw na bahala Lord. May our efforts lead to what our hearts really desired." The days in between after the boards and waiting for the results were the best! Sleep sleep sleep, eat eat eat, laag laag laag, movie movie movie, series series series! Then came the day night of verdict, Oct. 2, 2014, Thursday. We, AdDUans, were all in IT park refreshing from time to time PRC's website. Out of about 25 takers from AdDU, 11 passed, 4 were conditional. It was a very blissful moment for me to see my name on the passers list. I immediately called my mom! She was the first to know. I then texted my dad. I don't have the capacity to make an overseas call. Haha! So he called me instead. Then I called my bestfriend, Dash, I texted Yabee too. And I texted the kids! Nik and Faith! I texted my grandmother, and my yaya. Jolu called me also! There were so many congratulatory texts from friends all over the world! Charot! Haha! However, I wasn't able to celebrate that fully because I know, some of us didn't make it. Most of my time that night was not really spent on celebrating. I was out comforting my fellow AdDUans, giving words of sympathy, encouragement, and wisdom. To that one whom I comforted so much at the bulubundukin part of the IT park, haha!, libre dude! Naaaaah, seriously. I know you have absorbed all those things I sad to you. Gigamitan to nakog Philosophy! So ayaw pag eng dira. Hahaha! Yeah I know, I make a good Philosophy teacher. One day, someday, maybe I'll pursue it. It's one of my plans now. Just don't have any concrete actions yet. Hihi.

Overall, it was a bittersweet night. For the Electronics Engineering exam, 11 passed, 4 conditional. For the Electronics Technician exam, WE ALL PASSED. 100% passing rate with the Top 2 honors bagged by our fellow AdDUan,  Engr. Vince Jebryl Montero. It was my goal to be in the Top 10 placers of the board exam. I didn't give up even until the very last minute of my exams and even if I only had 17 sure answers. Hahaha! I believe in miracles though I know it would take a very HUMONGOUS miracle to land me on the top 10. Haha! My rating was just 74.70. If the passing score was 75, I surely would have failed. Good thing the passing score is 70. So, whatever, that was the most precious 74.70 in my life!!! Maybe the Lord knows that my favorite number is 7 so He gave a rating full of 7's! Even my ECT rating was 87! See! Still has a 7! Haha! So yeah yeah yeah,

ENGR. DINELLE AUBREY LEE AMPER, ECE, ECT

Just hold on we're going home! Hahaha! Best lyrics of a song! We went home to Davao on Oct. 4, Saturday, two days after the results came out. Argeo, dormmate from USC who also passed the exams, gave us a ride from Excel to the Mactan airport for which I am ever grateful. That day rained so hard. If it weren't for you, we would have been late for our flight. Hihi. I now take this chance too to thank my Excel Family, from the president himself, Sir Jaime Tiong, his wife Ma'am Nenita Tiong (thank you for treating us to italianni's the day before our board exam. hihi.), and their children, Sir JJ, Janjan (gwapo kaayo ka! inspiration kaayo everytime makita tika! hahaha!) and Nikki, our ever enthusiastic reviewers: Sir JJ, Sir Cober, Sir Pangan (best review class i had ever was with you! thank you for making us laugh our lungs out with matching tears in our eyes! hahaha!), Sir Fuentes (thank you for answering my math questions sir. hihi.), Sir Cuervo, Sir Mañacop, Sir Gabriel, Ma'am Jen (our hot body adviser. haha!), and Ma'am Tan, to the office staff who are ever welcoming and hospitable to answer our queries: Ma'am Mia and Ma'am Ely, to the canteen staff who takes care of our hungry tummies: Ate Linda (your dishes really taste so delicious!) and Ate Alma (i am always number 1 in your pa-reserve lunch list. haha!), the library and E-Review staff: Sir Erwin Tiong and Ma'am Rachel, the dormitory staff: Ate Aling and Ate Magda, (whose voices really echo the dorm. very pitch perfect 100! haha!), Kuya Atan, Kuya Marlon and Kuya Danny. THANK YOU EXCEL FAMILY FOR TAKING CARE OF US DURING OUR 6 MONTHS REVIEW IN CEBU! ALL IN ONE LOVE, CARE AND SUPPORT INDEED! And when I say support, I meant a support that goes beyond the review center - reviewee kind of support. They all treated us like we are the extended children of Sir Tiong and Ma'am Neneng, that we really are included in the family, Excel Family!

Thank you also to the Flordeliz family: Auntie Carol, Uncle Jun, my cousins: Ate Bingbing, Ate Cheche, my nieces: Cacay and Baby Narelle, and my cousin who is also staying in Cebu, Ate Dimz, for inviting us always whenever there's a party in your house (or i say, building). Hihi. Best times ever because those were some of our only chances to eat real food. And drink (??). Haha! And have free videoke!

Landed in Davao, stepped foot on Hillside Subdivision Bajada Davao City, slept finally on my bed, BEST FEELING EVER! Hahaha! Got to finally see again my mom, my brother, my grandma, other relatives, and friends from all over Davao! Hahaha! TRIPOD, ECE13, Kids, basketball teammates, HS CHUMS, Benben!, and many more! Just sad that I wasn't able to see yet my Arki buddies, CO2 and jinTOTnid. Postponed meet up. Zzz. It's okay. We have the whole 2015 to finally meet and look back to all those drama moments we had while we were still in first year, having a revolution with Architecture. Hahaha!

A very very very HUGE THANK YOU to Bibi Mommy, Papa, Arvin, Nanay, Yaya, Lee and Amper relatives! Another engineer in the family! Hihihi. Thank you Papa for calling me days before our board exam and telling me that you have just purchased me an S4. Inspiration indeed! Nabuhi ang kalag sa sok! Hahaha! Thank you for the new rubber shoes, Baby-G watch, t-shirts, blouses, cash, and many more. Haha. Thank you also to bibi mommy for giving me a shopping spree, supporting me in my oplan babaihan and overhauling my closet. Haha!

When I was still reviewing, I had this talk with Jesus that IF I'll pass, or rephrase, WHEN I'll pass and become an engineer, I will do my fair share of giving back by serving, applying St. Ignatius' teaching of being men and women for others. The form of service that I had in mind was inspiring young students to pursue their chosen endeavors by being a teacher. So I tried applying as a teacher in AdDU. And I got hired! Like Thank You Lord! Hihi. It was one happy moment! More than happy! Thank you also School of Engineering and Architecture for acquiring me! Thank Ateneo de Davao! Hihi. Now I can finally help young students by teaching them not just academic lessons but life lessons too. There were questions of what I want to do now that I'm already an engineer, whether I'll go find work in Cebu, or in Manila, or somewhere out of the country. But I chose to stay first in Davao. I want to spend more time with my family, dear friends, and loved ones. And I think I made the right decision. I may not be leading the race now, but I always believe that life is not a race. It is rather a marathon. I do not have to sprint. I just have to have enough air and endurance to run my life's marathon. I am spending quality time with my family. I got to go out with my friends. I am enjoying the teaching profession. I am happy with my work. That, I am more than thankful. :)

Well, thank you also to my students this semester! You make me alive really! And young too. Hihi.

And to the present SEA Women's Basketball team, not this year again. Heads up. Own 2015. :)

I didn't receive much material gifts this Christmas. I only got an automatic umbrella from Jolu and a boxer shorts from Faith. But the blessings I received this whole year was more than I could ever ask for. I have the four things that I always pray to God that He may grant me --- genuine happiness, contenment, success and peace of mind. For these, I am already very much thankful. The automatic umbrella and the boxer shorts were the icing on the cake. :)

Though the waves weren't so smooth all throughout the 365 days of this year, 2014 has been the best year of my life so far! And as my forever prayer says, " Lord, take me to where You want me to be. Lead me to the path where You think I should belong", I am very much looking forward to more adventures in 2015! I don't know yet if I will still be a teacher after this semester or I will work in the industry already or I will pursue a master's degree. I will just live one day at a time, cherishing each second, enjoying what the present gives me. One thing's for sure though, in the year 2015, I'll spread my wings and fly. Or I have my inflated, very colorful balloons here already. They need just few more reinforcements. There is no reason for me anymore not to fly. And if ever I decide to fly higher, no worries, I'll just inflate more balloons so that I can finally reach my own paradise falls. :)

LORD, THANK YOU OH SO MUCH! NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THIS 2014! ON TO THE NEXT 365 DAYS! LET'S JOURNEY TOGETHER AGAIN THIS 2015! :D :D :D

PS
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
I just don't know if it does or doesn't matter when

#BoyButterscotch
#BoyCornetto
#BoyRedBaller
#BoyNikeTShirt

LORD

Take me to places where You want me to be.
Lead me to where I should belong.

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE

1. Sa lalakeng minahal ko ng totoo ngunit natapos ang aming kwento noong Dec 23, 2010, pwedeng magtanong BAKIT? Pwede bang malaman ang mga dahilan kaya nasabi mo yun? Duwag kasi ako noon. Di ako handang marinig ang mga ipapaliwanag mo. Ngayon handa na ako, at sa tingin ko, ang sagot mo sa katanungan ko ang makakapagbigay tahimik sa loob ko. Ito ang kailangan ko para makapagsimula na talaga ako muli ng maayos.
2. Pagod na ako sa thesis. Hindi ako magpapakabayani para sabihing "okay lang" o "kaya ko" dahil sa totoo lang, hindi okay at umaabot na ako sa puntong hindi ko na kaya. Uhm, kinakaya ko pero ang hirap. Napakahirap. Nahihirapan na ako. Nandito na ako sa puntong di ko na alam ano ang gawin, ano ang susunod na gawin dahil wala na talaga akong ideya para sa thesis namin. Kumbaga, nasa dead end na ang utak ko. Alam ko merong namang solusyon pero di ko alam ano yun. Walang wala. Blankong blanko na ang utak ko. Gusto kong magtrabaho pero di ko alam kung ano naman ang tatrabahuin ko. Ang sakit. Napakasakit. Ang gulo. Napakagulo. 
3. Bakit ba hindi pantay ang buhay? Gusto kong maintindihan bakit.
4. Pasensiya na. May pinagdadaanan lang.

MY 2013 SPEECH

I don't know how to start this speech really. I don't even have plans like my 2012's. I have even thought of not making this now and just make this sometime next year. But hey, time has presented itself to me. So I should not waste it. TIME is GOLD. LOVE is ETERNITY. Hmm. This will just be spontaneous. Whatever thoughts that will come out of my mind, so be it. :)

JANUARY

• To Ron - Thanks for the birthday treat at Seafoods Island Northshore Grill. One of the best moments with ECE 13. As I can see in our pictures, we are all so happy. So yeah. Happy happy. Hopefully, on your next birthday treat, we are still happy like what we felt that time. :)
• To Drei - Thank you for the chance that I met your dad and siblings and the rest of your family on your dad's side. Thanks for the new orlean's cafe after. Sorry about my gift though. But I know you like it. I hope so. Thanks too for your birthday gift to me. :)
• To Naden - Thank you for the pack of yema gift! You're the first who gave me a gift for my birthday! :)
• To Papa - Thank you for throwing a party on my 21st birthday. I had lechon again after how many years. The last time was I think when I was 7 years old? Hihi. Thank you for sponsoring black label to my classmates. Hihi again. :)
• To my ECE 13 classmates - Sorry that my birthday had a rainy night. Everybody got wet and yeah, Adrian was the most wet one. But I thank you all for coming to my party. And thank you for your newsprint and correction tape gifts. :)
• To all JIECEP-SMS members who attended the summit at UIC bonifacio - Thank you for singing me a happy birthday song. :)
• To Yabee - Yey! Congrats Miss RPh! I knew you would pass. If you had no toothache that time, I think you would top the boards. Haha.

FEBRUARY

• To the people I was with during the cheerdance competition at Almendra's Gym and after, THANK YOU. Memories indeed. :)
• To Drei - Thanks for the post valentines date at Mandarin and for the The Fault in our Stars book and correction tape and paper flower. :)
• To Jinky - 8th placer on the nursing boards! Wow! Proud friend here! Hihi. Thanks for the invite at your thanksgiving party. Happy night that was. :)
• To Hazel - After Jinky's thanksgiving party, we went straight to your thanksgiving party. Hihi. Congrats too Ms. Pharma! Hoping to call you Doc soon. :)

MARCH

• Thanks Meg, my forever partner. Logic and Android projects. :)
• Thank you teachers for the grades. I was 0.75 short somehow. Hihi.
• Thank you Drei for inviting me to your younger sister's graduation party. I got to see lolabels that night. :)
• To  Lolabels - Congrats for graduating! Archi in the making! Thank you for inviting me to your thanksgiving party! :)
• To Dash - Congratulations for finally graduating! A degree in Mass Communications indeeeeed! Haha. Couldn't be prouder. Wait for me on the finish line. I am hoping to see you and yabee by the time I reached the finish line. :)

APRIL - MAY

• Thank you SMART for accepting us to have our OJT in your company. Live More! :)
• New found friends during OJT - Des, Ting, Franch, Jazz, April, Master Cedie, and to the rest of the Field Operations guys, and to my co-school trainees, Eldon, Kat, Harlita, Butch - BEST TIMES!!! Hahaha! The Beatriz karinderya and the Teresita sugbahan and the graduation. What happens in smart, stays in smart? Haha!
• All my supervisors and bosses in Smart, thank you for the opportunity and for patiently sharing your knowledge to us; for teaching us and for letting us apply the things that we have learned. :)

(APRIL) JUNE (JULY) (AUGUST)

• Thank you Maam Banluta for accepting our thesis proposal. :)
• Thank you Sir Marloue for constantly and patiently checking our thesis works and for teaching us how to become businessmen/women. :)
• To my SEA women's basketball teammates and Coach Freddie Roach - I never thought that first practice would mean so much to me. I just went for that practice thinking that it would be my last and even used my favorite socks and cyclings. But hey, no lasts I think. Instead, that practice was the beginning of a stronger bond that, what i can see, is forming into a family-like bond now. :)

JULY

• To the whoooooole ECE gang! From first year to fifth or more year! BEST ACQUAINTANCE PARTY OF MY ECE LIFE EVER! Thanks to everyone who came! Thanks most to the SELECOMES officers who made it possible! :)
• To Niknik - Thank you for asking help to Nads about tutoring you. If not for it, we would not know each other this much now. We would not become what we are now. :)
• To Nads - Thank you for inviting me to tutor Niknik. I really didn't have any idea. I just said yes. Good thing I said yes. :)

AUGUST

• To everyone I was with during the EA Liga, the beeeeest agaaaaiiiiiin!!! Hahaha! Thank you! ECE Champions! Whoooooo!!! Basketball Girls champion, Basketball Boys champion! Aaaaaahahaha! Thanks to all ECE peeps I played with. Sorry if I am only a flower flower to the volleyball team. And to Tasha and Noreen, continue our basketball supremacy guys. Char. Hihi. To ECE as a whole, continue our dynasty! Go for the gold again next year! :)
• To Naden, Niknik and to Faith who came with us that keepsakes dinner, THANK YOU. That night was soooo memorable. Faith was a revelation indeed. I haven't expected that that would start a very hashtag korni bonding. Hahaha. But yeah, thank you. Let's eat again at keepsakes soon. :)
• Thank you to Naden and Niknik for everything that had happened last Aug 15. I never thought arcade could be so much fun. One of the happiest days of my 2013 ever. Happier because we saw Faith unexpectedly. Haha! Destiny! :)
• To Niknik - Thank you for sending me that cute Sister Song from Barney. I really didn't know that song all my life. It was just you who introduced it to me. You really are a kid. Hihi. That song made me realize how broken I am and that I need to be fixed and that I am just waiting for someone who will fix me (chars) and that I can't be fixed if I don't fix myself first. So full of fix. Haha. I think you are Fix-It Felix. And I am Wreck-It Ralph? Hahaha! Thank you for the love, care, concern and support. Thank you for being so thoughtful about my knee, for being a sweet younger sister to me (though sometimes naughty. haha), and for making me believe in my dreams again. Thank you for believing in me that I CAN. Thank you for letting me realize that I am capable of loving and that I am capable of being loved. I have never expected that I will find solace in a kid like you. Thank you for the happy pills. Thank you for the Happy Lemons. Thank you for the little notes. Thank you for every little thing you have given me including the 6k churbaloo. Haha! Thank you for calling me Ache. Thank you for the happiness. Thank you for breaking my big strong walls. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for bringing back the old ache, the old me. :)
• To Marj! Thanks for inviting me on your wedding. Happy to have met Joey. I wish you a happy and fruitful married life ahead!
• To my high school friends whom I was with last Marj's wedding - HAHAHAHAHA! Forever laughtrip with you guys! I miss you all so much! Let's get back again together on the next one who will get married. :)

SEPTEMBER

• Thank you panel of judges for considering our thesis project. It's still kind of hard somehow, but yeah,  we'll get through this. :)
• To Niknik - Thank you for being there after my thesis title defense. :)
• To Faith - Thank you for calling me and Nik that night (and not anybody else? hihi). Thank you for going away from your world and coming back to the real world just in time. I know you can remember all the things I said that night and I hope you won't forget them and I hope you will truly apply them. I felt I was really an ATE that night. Hihi. Thank you for inspiring me to do well on my exams the day after. :)
• To Mommy - THANK YOU for sponsoring my hair and make up for my yearbook pictorials and for accompanying me and being a stage mom at the studio. :)
• Thank you to Sheila Magpale Salon (J.P. Laurel Branch) for my hair and make up. Hihi.
• To the Campus Ministry and to Sir Ryan - Thank you for the opportunity of having a silent retreat. I needed that so much and I just would like to thank you all for the help you have given. I think I will attend again a silent retreat. Soon. :)

OCTOBER

• Thank you for the grades, teachers. I made it to the cut. :)
• Thank you Drei for understanding. :)
• Thank you Bonj for the birthday invite. :)
• To all ECE/CpE/ChE in Singapore - Aaaaaahhhhhh!!! BEST!!!!! Hahaha! A picture paints a thousand words, so I think my pictures of us on my Facebook account are enough to express all my emotions/thoughts during those 5-day trip. THANK YOU! :)
• Thank you to the CpE Blacksheeps and Sir Descalsota (our Tatay) for being with us, ECE babies, guiding us during our Orchard, Marina Bay Sands, Bay View, Merlion, Universal Studios, Sentosa Island tour. Best amazing race slash survivor trip ever! Hahahahahahahaha!
• Thank you most to Papa and to Mommy for sponsoring my Singapore trip. :)
• Thank you to Harlan Sanchez for accomodating me when we arrived in Davao because the water is so high and it was flood everywhere and there was no chance I could go home to our house. :)
• Thank you Stephen Maybanting too for cooking food for us. Hahaha!

NOVEMBER (DECEMBER)

• To my basketball teammates and coach purr - thank you for trusting me and for understanding me and for letting me play. :)
• Thank you Auntie Carol and Ate Cheche for coming here in Davao and spending time with us during the holidays. It was good to be back at Samal. :)
• To Sir Opep - Thank you for helping me with my BPI applications. Sorry sir if I did not make it. But those times when you were helping me made me see that you are a passionate teacher. I hope you won't stop teaching and continue helping students (like me). :)
• Thank you to my forever thesis partner Meg for being so supportive and understanding and just simply being responsible enough in all our works. You know already what I am saying. Hihi. :)

DECEMBER

• ECE 13!!! Thank you for participating on our annual exchange gift giving! Thank you that we all gave somethings even though we leveled up to 500 pesos or more. Thank you that despite of our busy schedules and no money and no proper venue, we were still able to celebrate this annual tradition. :)
• To my basketball teammates and coach purr (again) - best practices here at our subdivision I can say. Hihi. Naaaaah. Just thank you for the bonding --- the stronger bonding that we have --- even stronger than before. Hihi. Just unfortunate that we fell short on our last game. Even I wanted to win it and I wanted that we will reach the championships. But yeah, life's like that. Let's just make sure that we "equal" this year what we have achieved last year. Go for the bronze! Hopefully, we can spend more time together even if the season has already finished. :)
• Thank you Niknik and Faith for accepting my crazy idea of exchanging gifts, and for the go with the flow trip (ktv, bowling, dinner, mcdo dessert) during the longest night of the year. Thank you Faith for the Timex watch. Thank you Niknik for the engineer teddy bear and for the numerous amount of letters. Thank you for making granny happy that longest night. :)
• Thank you again Niknik and Faith and this time with Fiona for a invading our house and for the bowling part 2. Just sad that we haven't had the chance to go to the cinema but next time, there's always a next time. :)
• To TRIPOD - for the unending support and love and understanding and words of encouragement, THANK YOU! I miss you both so much. I want to be in your arms now. Charlaloo noh? Hihi. But really, I am hoping to spend MORE time with you this 2014. I AM REALLY HOPING SO. :)
• Again, thank you Meg. Forever thesis partner. We can do this. We will. :)

THANK YOU

• Jintot
• Benben
• Agosto
• Mommy
• Papa
• Arvin
• Nanay
• Yaya
• Jesus
• Mama Mary
• God

But I gotta say, the best part of my day is when I get thrown off the roof. Because when the Nicelanders lift me up, I get a perfect view of "Sugar Rush", and I can see Vanellope racing. The kid's a natural. And the players love her, glitch and all, just like I knew they would. TURNS OUT I DON'T NEED A MEDAL TO TELL ME I'M A GOOD GUY. BECAUSE IF THAT LITTLE KID LIKES ME, HOW BAD CAN I BE?

- Wreck-It Ralph

:) 

THE KID WHO BROUGHT ME A THOUSAND PIECES OF EAR TO EAR SMILE

The title seems odd right? Awkward? Like it doesn't have coherence? Haha! Well just leave it like that. I did it on purpose anyway. It's still understandable though. :)

After more than 5 months of no buzz here, it's just so timely that I make this post. This is for the kid who brought me a thousand pieces of ear to ear smile. :)

All my college life, I am like the vampire Elena Gilbert when Jeremy died (The Vampire Diaries) --- I turned off my humanity. Uhm no, not really. But yeah, sort of like that. College has CHANGED me so big that I set aside my old self and created a new one. I am still me less sentimental, sweet, thoughtful, and stuff.

To the defense of the old me, the "old me" is still alive BUT to just some chosen people. Mostly, my high school friends because they know me as the "old me". There are some arki and ECE friends who I treat with the "old me" but I can just count them with my 10 fingers and 10 toe fingers. So yeah, generally, the "new me" is what they (the people I met after graduating high school) know about me.

I lived my college life as it is, very fast pace. That teacher from the movie Three Idiots was right somehow when he said that life is a race. I lived my college life like that. I didn't have time to be celebrate happiness whenever I feel so much happy or mourn over things which I failed. It was always MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY because if you won't, you'll get left behind on the so called college race.

I have lived with this principle for 5 years and a half. And I was planning to just live with it, live by it until I finished college or up to even I go to work. Not until somebody SHAKED my plans.

The kid. I call her Niknik. She's a total stranger to me. I don't know her. She doesn't know me. Really, we are total strangers. I only knew her because of basketball. But that's just it. I don't even have any care at her at first. Well she's good at playing basketball. In fact superb, excellent. But that's it. It's like my relationship to her was just purely basketball. No more, no less.

Until one day, Nads, my ECE classmate slash basketball teammate told me that Niknik needs our help and wants to have a tutor session. I don't know what's with the word tutor that I always say yes to the call. Maybe because of my promise to myself that I will help anyone with regards to studies as much as I can. Uhm, a teacher in the making I can say.

So I did. But up to the very last minute, I don't even have her number. It was just Nads who serves as our messenger. See? I don't care. In Filipino, wala talaga akong pake-alam. It was Niknik who even contacted me first because really, I was late that time. Haha. I even let her wait for a couple of minutes because I was rushing stuffs for our thesis with Meg, my thesis partner. Good thing she was patient enough to wait for me. Haha. Sorry Niknik. :)

We had the tutor session. Algebra and Trigonometry. Nads class was cancelled that afternoon so she joined us. Niknik had two instant teachers. So yeah. Then I mentioned to Nads, to them maybe, that my right knee hurts because of that last basketball practice. Niknik told me that I just have to ice it and stuff. Since I really don't have any idea what to do with injuries, and since she's a pro basketball player I can say, I followed her. Niknik had to leave early that time because her mother told her so. I went to church. Just a normal Saturday. Then I texted Niknik again that night just to ask about what to do with my knee. Then I think that was the start of everything. If our story would be featured in MMK, the title would be TUHOD. Or TUTOR would be a candidate too.

So what about Niknik? Why such a fuzz about her? Hmm. Let's just say, SHE CHANGED ME. Why? How?

• She is cuteness overload. Just one look at her and your heart will melt. It's like you will have no reason ever to get mad at her. No wonder she has many friends and lovers. Haha.
• Speaking of friends, YES SHE HAS MANY! Anywhere we go! She knows someone! I am not like that! I mean, I have friends, but I am not as friendly as her. I am really amazed by her congeniality.
• She is a very loving daughter. She is an ulirang anak. SHE WAKES UP AT 4AM EVERYDAY TO CLEAN THEIR HOUSE OR WASH CLOTHES AND COOK BREAKFAST FOR HER MOM! LIKE WHUUUUT! I don't do that! It's the other way around in my world. My mom does everything. But Niknik, aaaaahhhhhh!!! She really is abnormal. :)
• She is also a loving granddaughter. She takes care of her grandmother. And me? Oh don't ask anymore.
• She is sweet. She is thoughtful. She reminds me of the "old me", willing to do everything just to make her friends happy.
• She is lambing. She is makulit. She is a very bright light in a very dark vacuum space.

At pwede na ba akong mag tagalog simula rito? Naubos na Ingles ko eh. Haha! No. I'll just make this TagLish instead.

Wala lang. Iba lang talaga si Niknik. Hindi naman kami close noon pero anong ginawa niya sa akin? Kinatok niya ang buhay ko. Inalog niya ang mundo ko. Ginising niya ako mula sa bangungot na nakasanayan ko ng pamuhayan.

Marami siyang ginawa. Marami siyang ginagawa.

• Kinamusta niya tuhod ko kahit DI NAMAN KAMI CLOSE (noon). Nasa isip ko pa noon, ano ba itong batang ito. Bored ba siya sa buhay niya? Haha.
• Dinalhan niya akong ng something foam thingy para di sumakit tuhod ko nung naglaro kami nung EA sportsfest. Siya pa talaga ang naglagay.
• AAAAHHHHH!!! ANG VIVA MINERAL WATER! KAINIS! Binigyan niya ako ng viva mineral water out of nowhere! Surprise kung surprise! Ayaw na ayaw kong tanggapin pero napakatigas din ng ulo ng bata. Ayun. Talo ako. Tinanggap ko na lang.
• Nilibre din niya ako 5 pesos! Kainis again!
• Nilibre din niya ako pamasahe sa jeep! Kainis again and again!
• Napaka kulit. Palaging nagtetext kung nasaan ako. Ganun ba niya ako ka miss? Haha!
• Kinikidnap ako ng batang ito. Kahit saan ako dinadala. Ako naman, nagpapadala rin. Haaaay bata. Ewan ko ba bakit malambot puso ko sa iyo.
• Binigyan niya ako ng happy pills. Napakaraming happy pills with matching letters inside. Yung iba nakakatawa. Yung iba nakaka iyak. :)
• May dark chocolate din pala siyang binigay sa akin. Hersheys. At curly tops. Ano sunod bata? Snickers? Kitkat? Haha!
• At ngayon bago lang! She is learning piano so that she can dedicate and play songs for me! Like what the bata! Are you sure?! Haha!
• She always hugs me! Everytime we meet! Walang palya! Like wow. And it's always she caughts me off guard. Minsan di na lang ako maka hug back kasi di ko alam ano gawin ko. Haha.
• Kung may nakalimutan man ako, pasensya na at alalahanin ko muna. Haha.

Pero ang pinakanatamaan talaga ako sa lahat ng ginawa niya ay yung nag dropbox siya sa akin ng isang notepad letter thing at isang kanta.

Eto yung letter.

HAYYS atee nag duha2 ko about this song funny corny and watsoever proo i'll tell youu bata pko ani gnahan jd ko .. 

so expected pang bata jd kaau .. hahaha ! proo bata pko naga isip pd ko na naa koi sister .. pro krn pa ko nagka sister na 

mkaingon jud ko na ma feel nko ang pagka SISTER .. haha ! dghan gd dha ba kai daghan ko ate.2 proo SAIMO NKO NA FEEL ANG LOVE SA

ISA KA ATE NA AQNG GNA PANGITA .. KYA THANK YOU KAAAAAYOO ATEEE FORR BEIING MY SISSTERRRR .. THOUGH NOT BY BLOOD BUT BY LOVEE :D HAHAHAHA !

HMM .. sa song na ni pd kaaii a part of my fav. character hahaha ! lol . basta funny kaaau :D proo pag mag tan.aw jd ko sa 

t.v ani kaii chuuy ! haha ! taz kantahon daun ni na song .. mka ingon gd ko na nta naa koi sister .. hahaha ! but den nag 

promise ko skng self na ipadunggog jd nkoo ni sa taong mka feel ko na SISTER jd nkooo ( DLE NI JOKE OR JAMMING ND MAKING A STORY ) .. though pang bata mn gd kaau ba .. maoo ng 

gna ingnan tka na pass sa ko pag about sa song kaii dli ni well known na song kaii pang bataaaaaa jd kaaau .. hahahaha ! 

BUUT IM HOPPING NA DI KA MALAIN ANII NA SONG HAHAHA ! LOOL . JUD KAAAAYO KO OOOYYY ! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH ! 

ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :p AHAHHAHAHAHAH ! 

-----------> KULLLLLLIITTT :p

Eto naman yung kanta.

Nung pagbasa ko ng letter, pinipigilan ko na lang talaga yung luha ko. Ayoko umiyak eh. Pero nung sinimulan ko ng patugtugin yung kanta, ewan ko ba, intro pa lang ng kanta, BUMUHOS NA ANG LUHA KO NA PARANG BAGYO. Ewan ko. I immediately lay down on the sofa, curled up body like a baby and CRIED MY HEART OUT. I don't know. Hindi ko alam bakit ako umiyak nung gabing iyon pero isa lang ang sigurado ako, TOTOO ang iyak na yun. Totoong naiiyak ako dahil, because I am so touched with what she did. Natamaan ako. Sobra. Repeat playlist pa talaga ang media player ko at nag iisang kanta lang yun kaya ayun, balik balik ang kanta. Palakas ng palakas din ang iyak ko. Ewan ko ba. Para akong batang inagawan ng lollipop nung gabing yun. Tulo na sipon ko. Plus luha ko. Basa na masyado tshirt ko. Wala pa rin. I stayed up curling my body and crying like a baby. I felt so helpless and vulnerable. Parang feeling ko ang damaged ko pala talaga na tao noh? Tapos sa isang bata ko makikita, mahahanap ang solitude. Ayun. Iyak. I was crying like that for about 10? 15? 20mins? Di ako kumibo. Di ako gumalaw. Napatunganga ako sa pangyayaring iyon. In short, I was moved. I was touched. Natamaan ako. Di ako makapaniwalang may gagawa pa pala niyan sa akin or uso pa pala yan ngayon or ewan ko, lumambot talaga ang puso ko nung narinig ko ang The Sister Song.

Alam ko humiling ako sa Diyos noon na sana magkaroon ako ng kapatid na babae. Pero lalake ang binigay sa akin ni Lord, okay lang. Tanggap pa rin. Pero nung dumating si Niknik, nung nakilala ko na siya, nasabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na OH LORD THANK YOU. Parang siya na talaga ang sagot mo sa panalangin kong magkaroon ng younger sister. Nese kenye ne eng lehet eh. Halos pareho kami lahat ng gusto! Para ngang anak ako sa labas ng papa niya o anak siya sa labas ng papa ko. Haha. Basta. Long lost younger sister indeed.

Grabeng happiness ang dala niya sa buhay ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag. At ang happiness na binibigay niya sa aking ay na spread na rin sa ibang tao. Like for example, nagsisimula na ulit akong gumawa ng little notes/letters. Nabigyan ko na sila Nads and Meg, classmates ko, at si Faith, isang kasama pa namin sa basketball. Tapos loving na rin ako sa mga ECE classmates ko ngayon. Mas loving pala. Haha. Tapos sa kapatid ko, sa totoo kong kapatid, wow lang. Tinuturuan ko na siya kahit pagod ako or what at mataas na pasensiya ko sa kanya. Tapos loving na rin ako sa mama at papa ko ngayon. I mean more loving and lambing. See the change she has brought me? Yun sinasabi ng mga tao na iba raw ang smile ko sa mga pictures ko lately especially sa instagram, hindi yun dahil sa kung anong something. Dahil yun lahat kay Niknik. Ear to ear smile nga ang hatid niya sa akin.

The most important change she has done to me is, she has destroyed my effin tall and strong walls. The walls I built because of too much pain and sadness I felt from the past. The walls I built to protect myself from being hurt again. She let me realize that those walls are no good. That they will just continue to isolate me from the wonders of the world. She let me realize that okay lang masaktan. Parte yan ng buhay. Ang importante is maging masaya ka. Yung tipong genuine happiness talaga at ikalat mo ang genuine happiness na yan sa mga taong nakapaligid sa iyo.

Indeed, she is God's instrument to fix my ever damaged and broken personality. Inuntog talaga ako ni God sa pamamagitan ni Niknik at sinabing, "Hoy Dinelle! Tama na yang walls walls mo. Giba-in mo na yan at magsimula ka muli!" Siguro nga, sinadya ni Lord na sabay kaming dumating sa Garden Oases nung first practice namin sa basketball. Na kahit late na ako/kami, hinintay ko pa rin siya at di ako tumakbo. Siguro yun na yung simula. Doon pa lang, concern na pala ako sa kanya. Di ko lang alam. Unconscious lang.

Sa ngayon, di ko alam kung anong mga susunod na mangyayari. Bahala na? Haha. I mean, whatever happens, happens. All I know is that, I am happy that Niknik is in my life and I don't have any plans whatsoever of letting her go or something like that. I'll take care of her and I will cherish her presence forever. Yes. Forever. With her I believe that there is forever. Kahit na umabot ang araw na kelangan naming mag separate ways, forever pa rin. In our hearts and in our minds. True sisters/friends don't work outside. They work inside, in the heart and in the mind. Sorry sa english. Sleepy na ako. Haha. Basta ang thought is that the physical aspect lang yung malayo, pero ang pagmamahal namin sa isa't isa ay hinding hindi mawawala. Char lalim. Haha! And yeah, pag dumating man ang araw na yun, may technology naman to communicate. So worry not. And I know that even though we will be miles apart, Niknik and Ate will stay as Niknik and Ate. Always and forever. :)

Niknik

Thank you!

Maybe not now.

Maybe not immediately.

But I am starting to put down my walls and slowly going back to the "old me".

Uhm, maybe not all the "old me".

Just the good features of the "old me".

And I'll combine them with the good features of the "new me" too.

Scrap the bad features of the "new me".

Little by little.

Slowly.

I will be a better person.

I will be happier.

I will share more happiness to the people around.

Thanks to you Niknik.

Thank you so much. 

I owe you the change (for the better) I am experiencing right now.

Definitely, a kairos moment

:)

Alexandra Nicole Salcedo Navidad

The Kid Who Brought Me a Thousand Pieces of Ear to Ear Smile
^___________________________________________________^

Finished

Aug. 25, 2013

2:52 am

Now off to sleep. :)

STRAIGHTJACKET FEELING

Taglish muna tayo ngayon ah. Punong-puno lang talaga ng mga di mailabas-labas na hinanakit at hinaing ang aking damdamin ngayon.

Hinihintay kong makapag-online sa skype ang pinaka echosang mahal kong kaibigan. Pero busy pa ata sa kanyang bonding moments with friends, kaya dito na lang. Baka sakaling matulungan niyo pa ako.

Korni pala to. Bipolar-ish. Kaya beware na lang.

Ako ngayon ay. Rephrase that. I am currently in a. Hmm. I don't really know how to state this. Siguro nga, yan mahirap pag wala kayong label. Yes. I am in a relationship. But he's not my boyfriend yet. I'm not his girlfriend too. Oh di ba? Confusing? Special someone. Special siya sa buhay ko. Oo. Mahal ko. Pero natatakot lang ako minsang sabihin ang mga katagang I love you o ano pa man jan. Bakit? Mamaya na. Darating din tayo jan. Oo yun na. Basta ispesyal siya sa akin. M.U., more than friends, exclusively dating, tawagin mo na lahat. Yan. Pasok kami jan.

Ako din naman ang may gusto nito eh. Kung tutuusin, pwede ko na siyang sagutin. Pero may kasunduan lang talaga ako sa sarili ko na AYAW ko pang magkaroon ng boyfriend hangga't di pa ako tapos sa kolehiyo. KORNI KO NOH? Maria Clara 2013? Ewan ko ba sa akin. Saan ko ba to nakuha. Gusto ko lang din yun. And I don't want to break that promise. Weird na nga talaga siguro ako. Pwede na akong ipasok sa mental.

Eto ngayon, si special someone, si BOY 1, mabait naman siya. Understanding. Caring. Loving. Supportive. Napapatawa niya ako kahit napaka ewan na ng jokes niya. Walang problema. Ay hindi, kung walang problema, di dapat ako malungkot ngayon. So ano nga ba talaga ang problema?

Busy siya. Busy din ako. Busy kaming dalawa. Naiintindihan ko naman yun. Pero may mga oras lang talaga na, I am put into a fight versus myself. Why? Because my mind is not coinciding with what my hearts feels. Let me give you an example for a better understanding.

Yesterday, our department had a technical exhibit in one of the biggest malls here in the city. He's part of the main working committee because basically, he is the PRO in the student government in our school (School of Engineering and Architecture). So yeah. Very busy. In charge of something, of everything. Busy din naman ako. Klase sa umaga with matching PAASCU dialogue sa umaga then hosting gig doon din sa exhibit. Nung tapos na ang segment ko, ay ang saya ng puso ko. Iniisip niya na YES! Pwede kong ma invite si boy 1 kasi nasa mall na lang rin man kami, kain na lang kami. UNFORTUNATELY, may meeting pala sila pagkatapos nun. Nahulog ang mundo ni puso. No chance. Para naman kay isip, okay lang yan. Umintindi ka lang. Trabaho lang. Pero yun nga, conflict of interests na sila ni puso. Patay tayo diyan.

When he offered to accompany me on the way to the jeepney terminal, I refused. He insisted. I threatened him that I would punch him if he would insist more. Alam ko sasabihin niyo na napakatanga ko. Nag offer na nga yung tao, tinanggihan ko pa. Alam ko. Dahil yan din yung naramdaman ko nung ako'y naglalakad ng mag isa papunta sa sakayan. But I realized, I have done that because I don't want to miss him EVEN MORE. It's like yes he would accompany me but what? After? He would not go with me. He will just stay there. Go back inside because HE HAS A MEETING. So para saan pa na ihahatid niya ako? Maiwan na lang siya dun. Di pa sasakit lalo ang damdamin ko sa fact na di kami pwede magsama ng matagal. Pero meron din naman akong kadramahan side. Di naman talaga ako umuwi agad. I mean, nag lakad lakad pa ako. Pumunta pa ako sa 3rd flr. Umikot-ikot. Bakit? Tinext ko kasi siya kung pwede ba siyang tumakas. Bad influence na kung bad influence. Pero gusto ko lang talaga siya makasama kahapon. Halos tatlong linggo na rin kaming di nagkakasama. Ayun. But that whole time where I wandered around the mall, I didn't receive a reply. So I finally decided to go home, rode a jeepney, then mukmok dito sa bahay. Like inisip ko agad yung ginawa ko. Palaka. Nasabi ko sa kanya yun? Tumakas? Nagawa kong maglakad lakad para lamang maghintay sa text na alam ko naman ang sagot na hindi pwede? Eh tinanggihan ko nga yung offer niya na samahan ako, tapos ako pa may karapatang magalit?

That. That is the biggest question I am questioning to myself now. WHY? Why do I feel this way? Maybe I am a possessive person in my last life and it's reflecting now. But I have developed more my emotions that's why I know too that being possessive is bad. That demanding time with boy 1 is wrong when seriously, he has more important priorities to make. That's why I've told you earlier that it's a fight between heart and mind --- a fight between myself and myself. Heart wants to kidnap him yesterday so that we could be together but mind knows that it's wrong so no, go home and understand him. A fight between should I get mad at him or not? Bakit naman ako magagalit? Bakit naman ako hindi magagalit?

Kaya naman ngayon kelangan ko talaga ng napakagandang advice. Yung tipong malulunod ako sa words of wisdom. Eh pano, si pinaka echosang love ko na friend out of coverage area pa. Eto na naman tayo. Sa susunod na lang.

Tama nga rin pala. Wala akong karapatan. Di ko naman siya boyfriend. Kaya parang null and void lahat ng pinagsasabi ko dito. Bzzz.

Ang hiraaaaaaaaaap! Napakakomplikado! Pero ako lang din naman ata ang nagpapakomplikado sa sitwasyon ko. Napakahirap lang talagang kalabanin ang sarili mo. It's so hard to carry a thing wherein you are not used to carrying.

Takot pa rin pala akong masaktan. Akala ko okay na. Napakataas at napakalakas pa rin pala ng mga bakurang ginawa ko. Kaya siguro halos di ko masabi-sabi ang tatlong most essential words in a relationship.

I love you.

*straightjacket feeling*

OH THESE TIMES ARE HARD YEAH THEY'RE MAKING US CRAZY DON'T GIVE UP ON ME BABY

SAD

• Screwed my Digital Communications quiz yesterday.
• Can't seem to grasp school lately.
• Project/school stuffs overload
• Feels tired. Really tired.
• Should have seen you before you go but WHAT. THE. HECK.

HAPPY

• Friends who have just passed the NLE.
• Jinky top 8.
• 84 on my Philosophy subject.

I really feel down these days. I thought I have recovered already from that not so good birthday aftermath. But yeah, looks like I still haven't. I thought I could celebrate my birthday again but yeah, looks like again it will be postponed further.

Sigh. :(

RESHUMEY

Will my resume forgive me for not having so much to write on the awards and clubs portion? Been thinking of things lately. But I stay still on where I find happiness.

Yesterday, we had this guidance session. And in that session, we were asked to make a resume draft. I was kinda bothered that I had so little to write on the awards and clubs portion. Really, little.

Recently, I had offers on running for certain positions --- club president, course representative. At first I got interested. But then again, I said no. Why? I thought of my happiness. If I became one of it, I won't be able to sleep that much. I won't be able to study that much. My concentration on my thesis will be divided. Maybe I can't join the basketball team. I won't have so much time with friends. I won't have so much time with my family. I won't have time with the creature who puts a convex curve on my lips.

It's not a sin to be happy, isn't it? I just choose to be happy. I just choose where my heart and mind will have peace. Being a leader is not just about the title or the position. You can be a leader; you can serve the people even if you are just a commoner. Being a good leader means being a good follower.

I hope my resume can forgive me. More importantly, I hope my employer will see more than just the writings on those papers. Most importantly, I hope I will be happy on whatever work I'll have and wherever work I'll go. Hope my colleagues won't be so hard on me. :)

LOVE

MY 2012 SPEECH

If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show, the you I've come to know
If a face could launch a thousand ships then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you, you're all that's left me too

High School Super Friends, Classmates, Batchmates, CONGRATULATIONS to each one of you who graduated this year (especially to those who graduated with flying colors! (Wait. What color does fly? Ay. Joke. Haha!)). Congrats part 2 to everyone who passed their boards and became RN's, CPA's, RPh's, etc. AND to those who are still waiting for the results, and those who are yet to take the boards, keep calm and own those extended letters on your names. AND AND to those who will graduate this March 2013, just a little bit more so just go go go. AND AND AND to those whose graduation is still a long way to go, don't worry, you still have me, forever companion. >:)))

Arki buddiessssssss! This is it pancit! Thesis mode eh? I hope you will all have an excellent mark on your final deliberations. And I really really really hope many of you will graduate this March. I know thesis is sooooooo haaaaaaaard but don't lose the fight. Make yourselves haaaaaaardeeeeeeeer. >:)))

PS. If ever there are thanksgiving parties, you know I'm just a text away. >:)))

And when my love for you is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me

The Mighty 13 ECE Family Solid Forever. Hahaha! I wonder what would be the next name that we'll call ourselves. Not so much talk here. Just want to say, prepare the 500Php and up exchange gift for our Christmas party next year. Prepare also the glam outfits for our class picture. And, prepare the chos chos chos. Hahaha! Kiddin'. Just, I love you all. Let's continue to love, care, understand and support each other. I have witnessed countless "family" deeds that we've done this year. Let's continue doing it next year and next year and next year and you know when. :)))

PS. Let's patronize Reeza's dictionary from now on or else, she'll brenda us. >:)))

New found friends --- SEA Basketball Girls --- thanks for welcoming me, us. Thank you for letting us be a part of the TEAM. We may not have reached the final two spots but hey, there's still the third place up for grabs. It will still be history right? Hehe. But yeah win or lose, I'm happy already. With the friendship we have and the moments we've shared, it's more than a championship game to me. The fact that I got to play even just a few minutes, it's more than a championship trophy to me. Thank you for making this little girl's dream come true. Hihi. :)))

If a man could be two places at one time I'd be with you
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolvin' spinnin' slowly down to die
I'd spend the end with you and when the world was through

TRIPOD. *whispering* Psssshhhhh. Hey dash, let's not disturb yabee cause she's gonna take the boards this January. She needs concentration. Hahaha! Hey yabee! Good luck on your boards! Perfect it! Top it! Haha! Naaaaw. I know you can do it. Just remember, me and dash are waiting for the celebration echosan party already. Chos chos chos! Haha! And you dash, I am waiting for your graduation party too. As for my party, you still have to wait for it. Hihi. I LOVE YOU BOTH! I miss youssss! We're gonna go bonding soon don't worry. (During your parties maybe. Hehe.) BIIIIG HUUUUUG! *especially to you, dash* >:)))

PS. We're almost all 21. Please, whoever wants to wed first, don't hesitate to announce it. >:)))

Family. I believe that keeping things simple makes the world a better place. I believe that simplicity can be understood easily by the majority (Ms. Universe answer lang ang peg?! Haha!). So, I'll just keep this simple. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU. (caps lock for emphasis) And like I always pray, I don't care if it's simple, as long as we're happy. :)))

Revel bar, I hope the letter covered everything. If it didn't, you can always ask me. :)))

Chocolate, you don't know who you are. If you can guess, text me. Then maybe I'll tell you the things I should say here. Haha!

GOD. THANK YOU. SUPER. I'm not saying that fourth year is a stress free year but yeah, thank You because I was able to have more rests this year than last year, I think. Haha. Though the schedule is not that convenient still, I prefer it more than last year. Thank you for helping me manage my time (family, friends, school, social life, love life? haha!). Thank you for my awesome performance last semester. Even I myself can't believe it. But yeah, as they say, nothing is impossible with You. So yeah, I did it! Thank you! Highest WPA so far. But it's not yet enough. I need to eat more rice to achieve my goal. As of now, goal's too far to reach, but I will try to get back on track. Thanks for keeping us safe and healthy always. Continue to guide us. Continue to shower us Your blessings. I really really really hope I can achieve my goal. Please help me do it. I don't know what's in store for me in 2013. But whatever it is, big or small, biggest or smallest, help me face it bravely. :)))

PS. THANK YOU FOR THE HAPPINESS (in all kinds and forms). Bahala na simple basta masaya. :)))

Special shoutouts to:

• Jintot, the person who revolutionized good morning text messages, sorry if I wasn't able to go with your invite but i really do hope we can see each other next year (after a very loooooong time). I miss you! :)
• Hippooooo!!! Good to see you again! Good that you put your business at City Tri. At least there'll be chances that I'll see you every lunch TTH. Oh yeah friends, buy now at the new buko drink store inside City Tri! (Forgot the name. Haha!)
• Benben, my forever skype buddy. Don't worry, if time permits, let's go happy lemon again! This time, I'll be the one who will treat you. And I hope you'll experience the happy lemon magic too. That when we finish our drink and go out of the cafe, you'll have that ear to ear smile and cloud 9 happiness (just like me when we did it last time. hihi.). GO FIGHT WIN! :)

Then one by one the stars would all go out
Then you and I would simply fly away

*SMILE* :)